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THE  ELDER  MACGREGOR 


'Has  he  said  anything,  Jean  ?" 

— Page  log. —  Frontispiece. 


The  Elder  MacGrefor. 


The  Elder 
MacGregor 


By     CHARLES     HANNAN 

Author    if  "  Tht    Coachman    with    Tilhw    Lact,"    li¥hi   Captive 
./  Ptkin"  €tc. 


Illustrated  by 

JAMES    H.    LOWELL,    Jr. 


R.    F.    FENNO    &    COMPANY 
9  and  ii  East  i6th  St.  ::  New  York 


Copyright  1 904  by 
R.  F.  Fenno  &   Company 


CONTENTS 


I.  MACGREGOR  ON  HUMOR J 

II.  THE  SALVATION  ARMY I Q. 

III.  THE  GIPSIES  OF  THE  GLEN 30 

IV.  MISTRESS  MACKIE  AND  THE  POWDERS       .       .  48 

V.  MACGREGOR  ATTENDS  A  FIRE        ....  6 1 

VI.  JIMMY  OF  THE  HILLS 75 

VII.  MACGREGOR  AND  THE  WHITE  COW    ...  89 

VIII.  ANGUS  MACRAE IOI 

IX.  MACGREGOR  AND  THE  BUTTON    .        .       .        .  I  1 3 

X.  MACGREGOR  AND  THE  MINISTER^  COAT        .  I  24 

XI.  GOING  FOR  A  SOLDIER I  39 

XII.  MACGREGOR  ON  WRITING  A  BOOK     .       .       .  I  52 


213S109 


CHAPTER  I 

MACGREGOR   ON   HUMOR 

"  Man,"  said  MacGregor  the  elder,  "  if 
there  was  anything  either  pathetic  or 
humorous  in  the  matter  I'd  be  glad  to 
gratify  your  curiosity,  but  there's  neither 
the  one  nor  the  other.  It's  a  thing  that 
might  happen  any  day,  a  very  every-day 
kind  of  affair.  However,  I'll  tell  you  all 
about  it. 

"  In  this  connection,  I  hae  a  thing  or 
two  to  say  in  the  first  instance.  You 
mustnae  expect  me  to  be  in  any  way 
humorsome,  for  the  thing's  beyond  me. 
Humor  is  a  gift  and  it's  been  denied  me. 
Some  folks  think  humor  comes  natural 
and  spontaneous  like  water  running  over 
a  hill.  There  never  was  a  greater  mistake. 
Humor  is  no  a  thing  on  the  surface,  it's  a 
matter  of  getting  at  it,  it's  an  affair  of 
accomplishment,  and  very  very  difficult. 
You're  all  wrong  if  you  expect  humor  to 
come  easy  to  a  man,  it's  a  thing  that  wants 
7 


8  The  Elder  MacGregor 

digging  for.  Humor  has  to  be  dug — that's 
the  question  in  a  nutshell — humor  has  to 
be  dug. 

"  There's  a  general  idea  some  one  or 
other  has  promulgated,  that  an  English- 
man has  a  keener  idea  of  wit  than  a  Scotch- 
man. Never  was  a  greater  mistake.  In 
Scotland  we'll  see  many  a  joke  an  English- 
man would  never  smile  at.  We're  no 
wanting  in  the  humorous  faculty,  but  the 
humor  must  be  good  to  be  pleasing. 
We'll  no  laugh  at  silly  things  or  natural 
things  that  happen  every  day.  For  in- 
stance we'd  have  laughed  yon  time  when 
Mistress  Mackie  was  nearly  burned  alive — 
a  story  I'll  tell  you  some  day — well,  maybe 
I  put  it  over  strong  to  say  '  laughed,'  but 
at  all  events  if  she'd  met  her  death  yon 
night  it  would  have  been  '  a  question  of 
suppressing  a  smile '  for  the  whole  of  the 
parish.  There  was  a  joke  in  that  or  there 
would  have  been  if  they  hadnae  saved  her. 
Then,  again,  a  matter  between  Saunders 
and  me  over  a  cow's  ghost  up  in  the  glen, 
if  it  had  been  anybody  else  but  myself  I'd 
have  roared  with  laughter.  But  being  my 
own    affair   I   couldnae   very   well   laugh 


MucGregor  on  Humor  9 

though  I  often  wondered  how  other  folks 
kept  their  countenance.  But  to  take  the 
other  side  of  it  there's  one  or  two  writers 
for  the  public  nowadays  publishing  stories 
or  sketches  as  they  call  them,  totally  de- 
void of  humor  and  written  about  Scotch 
folk.  You'll  understand  I'm  referring  to 
no  one  special,  though  I  hear  you're  doing 
the  same.  One  of  yon  books  came  under 
my  notice,  it  may  have  been  yours,  but  I 
think  not  if  I  remember,  or  you'd  taken 
another  name  to  protect  yourself — I  may 
say  I  didnae  think  much  of  it.  It  was  an 
English  tourister  was  passing  here  last 
summer  and  gave  it  me. 

"  '  MacGregor,'  says  he,  '  read  that  and 
tell  me  what  you  think  of  it,'  and  I 
read  it. 

" '  Weel,'  says  he,  when  I  gave  it  back 
to  him,  '  what  do  you  think  of  that  ?  ' 

"  Says  I,  '  Yery  little — it's  natural 
enough  and  the  folks  are  lifelike,  though 
maybe  exaggerated.  But,  man,  we  ken 
all  that  before  we  read  it — it  contains 
neither  humor  nor  pathos  nor  any  merit 
whatever— I  think  very  little  of  it.' 

"  Man,  he  just  laughed  in  my  face  at  that. 


lo  The  Elder  MacGregor 

"  '  We  call  it  humor  in  the  South,'  says 
he,  laughing. 

"  '  Weel,'  I  answered,  *  you  may  call  it 
what  you  like  in  the  South,  but  there's  no 
humor  there — if  anybody  knows  humor,  I 
know  it — yon's  no  humor — humor  has  to 
be  dug? 

"  You  want  to  hear  about  the  bee  and 
the  minister.  Hoot's,  that's  naething.  It 
occurred  this  way :  One  awful  warm 
Sabbath,  in  order  to  get  a  breath  of  air 
through  the  kirk,  I  left  the  door  open, 
and  the  window  at  the  left  side  was  open 
too. 

"  The  service  had  begun  in  the  ordinary 
manner,  and  the  minister  was  doing  what 
they  call  '  wrestling  with  the  Lord  in 
prayer '  while  the  congregation  was  stand- 
ing about  in  their  pews,  some  leaning  that 
way  and  some  leaning  this  way,  like  a  lot 
of  gravestones  in  the  kirkyard. 

"  The  minister  was  more  than  usual 
animated. 

"Whiles  his  voice  would  be  very  loud 
and  you'd  think  he  had  got  the  better  of 
the  Deity,  then  it  would  sink  low  and  folks 
would  think,  'Man,  the  minister's  down 


MacGregor  on  Humor  1 1 

again,'  then  lie  would  up  on  his  feet  again, 
as  it  were,  getting  the  better  of  the  wrestle, 
so  to  speak,  with  a  sudden  boom  in  his 
voice,  and  we'd  all  rejoice  with  him — when 
whoop ! — over  he'd  go  again,  to  the  dis- 
appointment of  the  whole  parish,  and  we'd 
draw  our  breath  till  he  gathered  his 
strength  together  again. 

"  Then  he'd  up  again  with  his  '  Lord, 
thou  knowest,'  a  very  familiar  and  fash- 
ionable way  our  ministers  have  of  getting 
round  the  Deity — wearing  him  out,  as  it 
were,  with  a  heap  of  stuff  they  plainly 
enough  tell  him  he  kens  all  about  already. — 
'  Thou  knowest,'  he  would  thunder  in  a 
kind  of  frenzy,  and  every  one  of  us  would 
have  bet  on  the  minister — when  whoop ! 
— down  he  would  go  again  to  a  whisper. 

"  Yon  prayers  of  the  minister's  are  ever 
an  anxious  time. 

"  He  aye  gets  the  best  of  it  though  in 
the  end,  for  the  man  prays  on  till  he  is  fair 
convinced  in  his  own  mind  that  he  has  won 
the  wrestle. 

"  On  this  occasion,  in  the  middle  of  his 
wrestling,  in  comes  a  bee  by  the  kirk 
window,    no    a    small    bee,   but    a   well- 


12  The  Elder  MacGregor 

feathered  plumpie  with  yellow  bands 
round  it,  a  regular  civil  well-looking  bee, 
and  it  sails  round  the  kirk  with  every- 
body's eye  on  it  but  the  minister's. 

"  There  was  ever  a  general  impression 
amongst  the  congregation  that  the  min- 
ister kept  one  eye  open  forbye  the  appear- 
ance otherwise — '  Just  a  keek  in  it '  Mistress 
Mackie  had  it — but  however  that  may  be 
they  must  have  been  close  shut  on  this 
occasion,  for  he  was  the  only  party  present 
who  failed  to  perceive  yon  bee. 

"After  it  had  been  twice  round  the 
kirk  prospecting,  it  makes  a  sudden  swoop 
down  at  Mistress  Mackie,  who  shares  my 
pew  with  me.  Man,  there  was  a  com- 
motion. 

"Leckie  swiped  at  it  with  a  book  and 
Mistress  Mackie  nigh  fell  into  the  next 
pew  from  fear  of  it,  and  myself  I  very 
nearly  got  it  in  my  naked  palm  through 
clutching  at  it  as  it  went  by  me. 

"  But  away  it  goes  again  up  to  the  roof, 
and  round  about  the  kirk  as  before. 

"  The  minister  was  very  much  engaged 
at  that  moment  in  the  stress  of  his  prayer, 
and  he  never  noticed  it. 


MacGregor  on  Humor  13 

"  Presently,  round  comes  the  bee  to  the 
pulpit,  and  Andy,  the  lame  precentor,  laid 
himself  out  to  capture  it.  But  swoop  it 
went  by  him  and  he  missed  it,  to  folk's 
universal  disappointment,  for  although  it's 
a  very  trivial  thing  I'm  telling  you,  maybe 
the  excitement  in  the  kirk  would  have 
surprised  you. 

"  When  Andy  nearly  got  it  and  failed  in 
the  endeavor  it  was  very  exciting ;  and 
when  the  bee  fluttered  up  thereafter  above 
Andy  and  above  the  pulpit  and  above  the 
minister  there  wasnae  a  person  in  the  kirk 
but  was  watching  it  very  eagerly. 

"  Having  got  to  the  minister  the  bee 
proceeded  very  leisurely — first  it  buzzed 
past  his  ear  and  he  never  seemed  to  notice 
it,  then  it  fluttered  over  his  head  and  he 
went  on  with  his  prayer  as  usual,  then  it 
came  down  near  the  point  of  his  nose  and 
there  was  a  kind  of  shiver  of  fear  passed 
over  the  whole  of  us. 

"You  ken  yon  weeping  willow  that 
hangs  over  the  well.  Sometimes,  in  sum- 
mer, though  you  never  imagine  there's  a 
breeze  in  the  atmosphere,  yon  tree  will 
fall  in  a  sort  of  tremor  as  if  it  expected 


14  The  Elder  MacGregor 

something,  just  a  quiver  all  over  it,  very 
trifling  but  very  intense.  It  was  just  like 
that  with  the  congregation,  all  of  us  on 
the  shake  so  to  speak  when  the  bee  wus 
over  the  minister's  nose,  in  case  the  crea- 
ture settled  on  the  apex.  You  see  it  be- 
came a  momentous  question  how  the  min- 
ister would  treat  it,  and  myself,  I  fair 
trembled  for  the  very  foundations  of  our 
religion.  Man,  I  was  afraid  of  it — afraid 
of  yon  bee  if  it  had  settled,  and  I  could 
feel  it  in  the  air  that  it  was  expected. 

"  However,  to  my  great  relief,  swish 
away  it  goes  again  twice  round  the  kirk, 
followed  by  the  glances  of  half  the  parish 
and  a  prayer  or  two  that  it  would  go 
peaceably  out  by  the  window — and  then 
back  again  it  comes  to  the  vicinity  of  the 
pulpit  where  the  minister  was  still  very 
hard  at  his  wrestling.  'Now,'  thinks  I, 
'  Andy  the  precentor  will  get  it.' 

"  But  it  never  went  near  Andy,  it  went 
straight  over  him  to  the  minister. 

"I  am  no  sure  if  you  ken  the  kind  of 
collar  the  minister  wears,  it's  a  low  one 
and  very  wide  about  the  neck,  perhaps 
you'll  have  remarked  it  ? 


MacGregor  on  Humor  15 

"  The  man's  neck  is  a  thin  neck,  of  only 
thirteen  inches,  but  his  collar  is,  maybe, 
eighteen,  for  various  reasons. 

"  For  instance  a  wide  collar  like  that 
doesnae  fray  and  wear  out  like  one  con- 
stantly rubbing  against  the  neck ;  it  will 
last  double  or  maybe  three  times  as  long. 
And  there's  another  consideration ;  you 
can  wear  it  longer  if  you  only  touch  it 
here  and  there  occasionally  instead  of 
being  constantly  adjacent. 

"  The  minister  is  no  like  us  folk,  content 
to  wear  a  collar  on  the  Sabbath  and  go 
without  it  for  the  rest  of  the  week;  the 
man  wears  his  collar  constantly,  and  by 
yon  contrivance  of  having  a  very  wide 
one  that  he  only  approaches,  so  to  speak, 
occasionally,  he  gets  even  with  us  all  both 
on  the  question  of  wear  and  the  question 
of  washing,  which  is  a  great  consideration. 

"  I've  myself  remarked  him  in  the  same 
collar  three  Sabbaths  in  succession,  with 
some  wet  weather  during  the  week  into 
the  bargain. 

"  Weel,  the  bee  remarked  the  cavity. 

" '  Gosh  ! '  thinks  I,  '  the  bee's  disap- 
peared,' and  there  wasnae  a  face  in  kirk 


16  The  Elder  MacGregor 

that  didnae  seem  to  bear  the  question 
as  I  looked  round  at  them,  '  MacGregor, 
where's  yon  bee  ? ' 

"Just  at  that  very  moment  when  we 
were  all  on  edge  with  anxiety,  a  matter 
of  a  very  extraordinary  nature  happened, 
for  all  of  a  sudden  a  bird  appeared 
amongst  us,  a  swallow  flying  in  through 
the  open  door  and  up  to  beat  against  the 
window,  thinking  doubtless  to  fly  out 
again. 

"This  was  too  much  for  the  minister. 
'  MacGregor,'  says  he,  very  quiet  from  the 
pulpit,  speaking  down  to  me  and  opening 
his  eyes,  '  worship  under  some  circum- 
stances is  very  difficult — I'll  suspend  my 
prayer  a  moment  for  you  to  rid  the  kirk 
of  yon  swallow.' 

"  '  Minister,'  says  I  for  answer,  '  if  you'll 
take  my  advice  you'll  attend  yourself  to 
the  bee  that's  gone  down  the  back  of  your 
collar,'  and  I  believe  that  was  the  first 
consciousness  he  had  of  it,  for  at  the  word 
about  the  bee  the  man  gave  a  leap  in  the 
pulpit,  the  like  of  which  I've  rarely  seen, 
and  from  very  sympathy  we  all  jumped 
with  him. 


MacGregor  on  Humor  17 

"  Then  his  face  got  very  red  and  uncom- 
fortable, and  you  could  see  he  was  trying 
to  get  round  to  his  own  back,  and  then  he 
said  very  quietly, 

"  '  Andy,  will  you  come  up  to  my  assist- 
ance ? ' 

"  Out  of  his  box  hobbled  Andy,  and 
away  up  to  him. 

"Naebody  cared  very  much  about  the 
swallow  at  this  juncture.  It  was  all  Andy 
and  the  bee  and  the  minister. 

"  Andy  was  beside  him  very  quick,  and 
instead  of  wrestling  with  his  prayer  any 
longer  it  seemed  as  if  the  minister  was  try- 
ing a  throw  or  two  with  the  bee  or  with 
Andy  instead  of  it. 

"But  suddenly  the  whole  affair  was 
over. 

"  Andy  gives  him  a  stump  on  the  back 
and  the  minister  thunders  out,  '  Stop,  that 
will  do,'  and  advances  very  quiet  and  stern 
to  the  front  of  the  pulpit  with  a  queer  kind 
of  stony,  resolute  look  about  his  features. 
'  Gosh ! '  thinks  I,  '  the  interruption's 
roused  him — we'll  have  something  like  a 
fine  sermon  to-day.' 

"  But  the  result  was  very  disappointing, 


18  The  Elder  MacGregor 

for  instead  of  going  into  the  service  again, 
he  just  stood  there  looking  at  us  for  a  mo- 
ment and  then  his  face  became  very  pa- 
thetic. 

" '  The  congregation  will  disperse,'  says 
he,  '  I'm  stung.' 

"No  prayer  about  it  nor  nothing,  al- 
though the  words  mind  you  were  very 
touching,  and  you  could  see  him  looking 
round  the  kirk  for  the  sympathy  natural 
to  expect  from  the  parish.  Man,  I  was 
sorry  at  the  termination,  but  I  never  saw 
the  minister  look  so  imposing. 

"  The  kirk  was  like  a  funeral  when  he 
announced  it. 

" l  The  congregation  will  disperse,'  says 
he,  '  I'm  stung.' 

"That's  all  we  ever  kenned  about  it. 
No  desirable  details  or  anything.  Just  the 
plain  fact. 

"'The  congregation  will  disperse — I'm 
stung.' " 


CHAPTER  II 

THE   SALVATION   AEMY 

One  Sabbath  morning  there  was  quite  a 
commotion  in  the  village  by  reason  of  the 
arrival  of  four  strangers,  two  of  them 
women  and  two  of  them  men.  These  peo- 
ple must  have  come  to  the  district  late 
upon  the  Saturday,  and  it  was  known  after- 
wards that  they  were  lodging  at  a  farm- 
house away  over  beyond  the  glen,  from 
which  place  they  had  walked  to  the  vil- 
lage. 

Whilst  the  kirk-bell  was  tinkling  and  the 
parish  getting  ready  to  hear  the  minister, 
these  four  strangers  placed  themselves  upon 
a  low  rising-ground  not  far  from  Mistress 
MacConnochie's  cottage,  which  is  within, 
maybe,  two  hundred  yards  of  the  kirk ;  and 
whipping  out  of  their  pockets  each  of  them 
a  hymn  book  and  a  Bible  they  commenced 
to  hold  service  in  the  open  air. 

The  men  were  dressed  in  a  kind  of  uni- 
form, and  the  women  wore  ugly  bonnets 
19 


20  The  Elder  MacGregor 

over  their  faces,  and  as  the  folk  came  out 
of  the  cottages  and  heard  them  they  would 
sing  the  louder,  or  the  man  who  was  read- 
ing would  speak  the  louder  as  the  parish 
passed  by. 

All  this  caused  a  scandal  at  the  kirk,  for 
some  would  have  stayed  to  listen  to  them 
but  others  hurried  on,  and  those  who  lagged 
a  moment  followed  and  gathered  about  the 
kirk  door  talking  of  the  strangers  and  say- 
ing they  came  from  Glasgow  or  Edinburgh 
very  likely,  and  were  these  Salvation  folks 
they  had  heard  tell  of  who  preached  in  the 
streets  and  emptied  many  a  decent  kirk. 

The  strangers  meantime  proceeded  with 
their  service,  standing  up  bold  before  all 
the  people  but  never  gaining  a  single  ad- 
herent with  it  all. 

MacGregor  the  elder  was  by  the  plate, 
as  usual,  whilst  the  folk  arrived  at  kirk, 
when  he  heard  of  it  partly  through  the 
noise  of  the  singing  and  the  preaching 
reaching  his  ears  from  the  distance,  and 
partly  from  inquiry,  as  the  parish  came  to 
service. 

The  great  question  was  as  to  what  would 
happen  when  the  minister  saw  them. 


The  Salvation  Army  21 

"  "Weel,"  said  MacGregor,  "  there  were 
we  all  wondering  by  the  kirk  door  and 
waiting  for  the  minister,  when  we  saw  him 
coming.  His  face  was  very  still,  and  he 
just  passed  through  to  the  vestry  and  up 
and  into  the  pulpit  presently,  with  never  a 
word,  but  I  could  see  there  was  a  kind  of 
displeasure  in  the  air  about  him,  and  his 
wife  and  the  children  looked  scared  in 
their  pew.  Before  he  began  preaching  he 
called  me  up  to  him  and  whispered  to 
close  the  window,  which  I  did,  though  it 
was  summer  and  the  heat  was  very  fierce. 

"  He  preached  as  usual  and  nothing  hap- 
pened, except  that  Mistress  Mackie,  who 
shares  my  pew  with  me,  was  more  than 
uncommon  troublesome.  She  ever  had  a 
queer  kind  of  clutter  in  her  throat,  no  a 
cough  exactly,  but  a  kind  of  glou-glou,  like 
water  murmuring,  only  a  bit  louder. 
Wait !  I  can  describe  it  better,  it  was  like 
a  turkey  glug-glugging.  The  poor  body 
could  never  help  it ;  but  it  was  most  dis- 
tressing, more  especially  when  the  sermon 
was  being  delivered.  Naebody  within  ten 
yards  of  her  could  get  a  wink  for  the  glug- 
glug  which  aye  wakened   them.     In  fact 


22  The  Elder  MacGregor 

there  was  quite  a  desertion  of  our  corner 
of  the  kirk  on  account  of  it. 

"  Weel,  the  Sabbath  passed  by  and  we 
saw  no  more  of  the  strangers,  but  just  a 
fortnight  later  and  at  the  same  time  of  day 
and  place  who  should  come  back  to  the 
village  but  the  same  four  folk,  and  this 
time — (through  the  parish  having  got  over 
the  first  scare  of  it  on  the  previous  Sunday) 
— there  was  a  general  disposition  to  listen 
a  bit  and  hear  what  they  had  to  say.  The 
minister  was  late  that  day,  and  when  he 
came  past  the  place  where  the  Salvation 
folk  were  established  he  found  some  six  or 
maybe  seven  of  his  parishioners  lagging  by 
them  and  listening. 

"He  came  down  to  the  kirk  driving  the 
folk  before  him  like  a  whirlwind.  I  have 
rarely  seen  the  minister  so  fine.  He  was 
fair  majestic. 

"  We  all  thought  that  ended  it ;  but 
when  I  got  in  my  pew,  being  latish  through 
attending  to  the  plate  at  the  door,  I  no- 
ticed to  my  surprise  that  the  kirk  appeared 
more  than  usual  peaceful,  in  fact  there  was 
no  Mistress  Mackie  by  the  side  of  me. 
And  I  could  tell  by  looking  round  that 


The  Salvation  Army  23 

there  was  more  than  me  perceived  it, 
in  fact  the  minister  got  his  eye  on  me  from 
the  pulpit  and  I  could  see  that  he  was 
troubled.  However,  he  commenced  the 
service ;  but  whether  the  Salvation  folk 
had  drawn  nearer  that  day  or  the  wind 
being  from  that  direction,  there  was  aye  a 
sound  of  them  came  to  us,  and  presently  a 
very  extraordinary  thing  happened. 

"The  minister  had  just  given  out  the 
Psalm  when  he  stopped  and  leaned  over 
the  pulpit  and  whispered  to  lame  Andy  the 
precentor,  and  then  he  called  me  up  to  him 
and  spoke  in  my  ear,  and  said : 

"  '  All  we  like  sheep  have  gone  astray — 
what  has  become  of  Mistress  Mackie?' 
and  every  one  in  kirk  was  agog  at  the  un- 
usual circumstance. 

"  Then  he  says  loud  to  the  whole  of 
them, 

"  •'  My  friends,  Andy  will  set  you  the 
tune  and  sing  with  you — my  elder  and  I 
are  going  out  to  seek  one  of  the  lambs  of 
my  flock  who  is,  maybe,  gone  astray,'  and 
I  kenned  what  he  was  at  now — he  was 
after  Mistress  Mackie. 

"  So  down  he  marches,  and  what  could 


24  The  Elder  MacGregor 

I  do  but  follow-  him  ?  And  out  we  went 
to  the  strangers,  and  sure  enough  there 
was  Mistress  Mackie  in  her  Sabbath  finery, 
with  the  glug-glug  in  her  throat  distress- 
ing the  Salvationists,  and  watching  and 
listening  to  them  very  patient.  The  min- 
ister turned  to  me  looking  awful  pale. 

"'There  is  the  beginning,  MacGregor,' 
says  he,  'next  Sabbath  I'll  hae  an  empty 
kirk— I'm  going  to  defeat  the  enemy  forth- 
with,' and  up  he  steps  bold  to  Mistress 
Mackie. 

"  '  Away  to  kirk,  woman,'  says  he ;  then 
to  the  strangers  he  adds, 

" '  What  are  you  at  in  a  decent  parish  ? ' 
And  says  one  of  the  men,  '  Salvation.' 

" '  You're  visitors,  I  perceive,'  said  the 
minister.  '  You  canna  refuse  my  hospital- 
ity, friends— my  kirk  is  open — come  down 
and  hear  me ; '  and  at  that  they  whispered 
together,  but  he  kind  of  got  behind  them 
and  fair  drove  them  down  to  the  kirk  after 
Mistress  Mackie,  whether  they  liked  it  or 
no. 

"  Then  up  he  goes  to  his  pulpit,  looking 
triumphant,  and  there  was  a  commotion  in 
the  kirk. 


The  Salvation  Army  25 

"  Lame  Andy  the  precentor  was  singing 
when  we  entered,  but  he  stopped  at  once 
to  give  the  minister  a  chance ;  and  the 
minister  took  it. 

" '  My  friends,'  he  says,  never  even  sit- 
ting do wna  moment  in  the  pulpit, '  strangers 
have  come  to  us  to  hear  the  gospel  and  far 
be  it  from  me  to  refuse  them.  We'll  take 
a  somewhat  unusual  course  and  pass  straight 
to  the  sermon.' 

"  At  that  every  one  sat  up  straight  to 
listen. 

" '  And  my  text,'  thundered  the  minister, 
half  opening  his  book  and  then  changing 
his  mind  and  closing  it,  '  my  text  is  Salva- 
tion.' Then  he  repeated,  '  My  text  is  Sal- 
vation,' and  repeated  it  a  third  time  and 
waited  a  moment,  and  took  a  drink  of 
water  to  collect  his  thoughts. 

"  I  looked  round  at  the  strangers,  and  I 
could  see  they  felt  it.  As  for  the  parish, 
one  and  all  were  fumbling  with  their  Bibles, 
being  anxious  to  turn  up  the  text,  but  the 
minister  gave  no  indication  where  to  find 
it. 

"  You  see  the  trouble  was  if  you  found 
the  word  '  Salvation '  in  one  part  of  the 


26  The  Elder  MacGregor 

Bible,  maybe  the  minister  was  referring  to 
another;  you  might  be  astray  upon  the 
wrong  text  for  want  of  his  giving  chapter 
and  verse,  and  the  situation  was  very  dif- 
ficult. There  was  a  rare  flummering  with 
the  Bibles  but  no  certainty  at  all. 

"The  minister,  however,  began  very 
quietly,  and  I  watched  the  folks  he  was  at 
and  waited,  knowing  he'd  soon  have  them, 
and  man,  it  was  a  sermon  J  First,  he  got 
them  very  gently  into  the  whirlpool  of  his 
discourse,  then  he  throws  out  a  kind  of 
lash  of  a  sentence  that  twines  round  them, 
then  he  enforces  an  argument  and  drives 
it  into  them  like  a  nail,  and  then  his  ser- 
mon fair  enters  into  and  bewilders  every- 
body. J 

"  At  this  period  I  could  see  the  Salva- 
tionists wither  with  his  power  on  them, 
but  the  minister  was  nae  nearly  done.  He 
was  going  to  get  right  inside  them  and  turn 
them  inside  out,  and  scorch  them  after- 
wards if  it  took  him  the  whole  day  to  do 
it.  J 

"I  grasped  his  intention  and  was  proud 
of  him,  but  Mistress  Mackie,  with  her  glug- 
glug,  was  awful  troublesome. 


The  Salvation  Army  27 

"  Weel,  he  preached  at  these  folks  till 
they  were  fair  terrified ;  it  was  like  an 
awful  storm  passing  over  the  parish. 

"  When  he  had  been  at  it  three  hours 
farmer  Grierson  would  give  a  pull  at  his 
watch-chain,  as  a  kind  of  hint  that  folks 
had  dinner  to  think  of.  But  the  minister 
wasnae  to  be  put  by,  and  he  thundered 
on.  Man,  we  had  a  grand  day.  It  was 
as  if  he  were  saying  to  himself,  '  I'll  dig 
at  you  strange  folk — I'll  show  you  who  can 
preach — I'll  take  the  starch  out  of  yon 
Salvationists  with  this  sermon,  and  they'll 
no  want  another  or  I'm  mistaken.' 

"  They  were  pitiable  objects  long  before 
the  man  had  done.  I'm  no  very  sure  but 
that  I  slept  for  an  hour  or  two  myself, 
which  was  unusual  with  Mistress  Mackie 
by  me.  Anyway,  it  was  nigh  on  four 
o'clock  before  he  came  to  his  peroration, 
and  that  waked  me  by  its  very  force. 
The  peroration  was  grand.  I  forget  the 
most  of  it,  but  the  Salvation  folks  were 
looking  limp  and  weak,  and  the  minister 
was  almost  screaming  for  he  was  a  wee 
bit  hoarse,  and  no  wonder. 

"  '  You  folks,'  says  he,  '  from  Glasgow 


28  The  Elder  MacGregor 

or  Greenock  or  Edinburgh  or  elsewhere, 
if  you  seek  Salvation — gosh!  I'll  give  it 
you,  but  we'll  no  take  it  from  you,  we 
wouldnae  deprive  you  of  what  you  so 
sorely  need.' 

"  Thinks  I,  '  That  gets  them,'  but  there 
was  more  yet. 

" '  You  come  amongst  us,'  cries  he,  '  with 
bonnets  to  hide  your  faces,  to  steal  the 
lambs  of  the  kirk,  and  deprive  the  minister 
of  his  congregation  and  of  his  living.  I'm 
thinking  you'll  no  do  that,  for  I've  more 
sermons  than  one  to  give  you  ;  and  when 
you  come  again  I'll  have  another  ready  for 
3rou.  '  Lost  sheep,'  cries  he.  '  Lost  lambs 
and  sheep,  away,  back  to  Glasgow  or 
Greenock  or  elsewhere  in  your  shame, 
and  if  any  of  your  party  likes  to  visit 
us  again,  we'll  no  withhold  Salvation  from 
them — we'll  administer  it  freely  as  we 
have  done  at  some  considerable  length 
to-day.' 

"With  that  conclusion  he  drinks  an 
extra  glass  of  water,  and  then  thunders 
out  '  Amen,'  and  says  loud  out  to  Andy 
the  precentor,  '  Andy,  sing  the  whole  of 
the  119th  Psalm.' 


Jflftffi0N(-*i 


M  If  you  seek  Salvation— gosh!  I'll  give  it  you." 

— Page  28. 


Th$  Elder  Macgregor. 


The  Salvation  Army  29 

"  You  ken  Andy's  voice  has  some  power 
of  endurance,  but  it's  a  long  psalm  is  yon." 


"  Well,"  I  asked,  "  did  the  Salvationists 
ever  come  back  ?  " 

"  No,  they  never  came  back  !  It  wasnae 
so  much  that  they  had  had  enough.  It 
was  more  a  carnal  consideration.  You  see 
everybody's  dinner  was  spoiled.  So  we 
got  up  a  kind  of  depitation  in  the  village 
and  begged  them  for  the  minister's  sake 
and  the  sake  of  the  parish,  never  to  come 
again. 

"  I  believe  they  do  a  heap  of  good  in 
Glasgow  those  Salvationists,  but  it's  no  to 
be  accomplished  here." 


CHAPTER  III 

THE   GIPSIES   OF   THE   GLEN 

Up  at  the  far  end  of  the  glen,  when 
autumn  was  tinging  the  hazelnuts  and  the 
leaves  upon  the  trees,  and  when  the  black- 
berries grew  ripe  amongst  the  under- 
growth, there  used  to  be  a  tribe  of  gipsies 
who  would  fix  their  camp  there  for  a  sea- 
son for  many  a  year  gone  by. 

They  would  arrive  with  the  first  turn  of 
the  year  towards  harvesting  and  leave  be- 
fore the  snow   lay   on    the  ground,   and 
whither  they  went  or  whence  they  came 
no  one  knew  and  few  troubled  to  inquire 
Whilst   they   stayed   in   the  glen  they 
would  make  use  of  a  cavity  in  the  rocks 
up  yonder,  a  poor  shallow  place  at  best 
over  which  they  spread  a  canvas  out  from 
the  mouth  of  it  to  increase  its  size 

One  autumn  they  brought  with  them  a 

beautiful  young  gipsy  giri  whom  no  one 

m  the  district  could   remember   to  have 

seen   before.     Saunders,    the    shoemaker, 

30 


Gipsies  of  the  Glen  31 

caught  a  sight  of  her  gathering  berries  in 
the  wood,  and  he  told  lame  Andy,  the  pre- 
centor, and  it  was  whispered  in  most 
mysterious  undertones  about  the  parish 
that  the  maiden  wasn't  a  gipsy  at  all. 

"What  started  this  report  it  would  have 
been  difficult  to  say,  but  the  whole  parish 
had  it  round  amongst  them  as  they  passed 
into  kirk  on  Sabbath,  and  the  elders  lin- 
gered by  the  plate  a  while  longer  than 
they  need  have  done,  half  expecting  to  see 
the  "  gipsy  lady,"  as  they  called  her,  step 
down  the  village,  dressed  in  decent  gar- 
ments to  attend  the  kirk. 

All  the  time  the  minister  was  at  his 
prayer  it  was  evident  the  congregation 
had  not  quite  given  up  hopes  of  seeing  the 
gipsy  amongst  them,  and  the  elders  were  on 
the  qui  vive  to  rush  to  the  door  and  open 
it  and  find  a  seat  for  her  if  she  appeared. 

The  minister  was  holding  his  con- 
fidential conversation  with  the  Almighty, 
and  telling  him,  "  O  Lord,  thou  knowest 
well  that  we  are  creatures  of  clay ;  thou 
knowest  we  have  erred  and  gone  astray," 
but  folk  were  agog  over  the  mystery  of 
the  lady  in  gipsy  clothes  up  the  glen. 


32  The  Elder  MacGregor 

Strange  as  it  may  seem,  the  minister 
had  not  only  felt  the  pulse  of  the  con- 
gregation, so  to  speak,  whilst  he  was 
wrestling  with  the  Lord,  but,  for  a  reason 
which  he  could  not  quite  explain,  he  too 
had  half  looked  to  see  the  gipsy,  and 
though  his  eyes  were  closed  in  deep 
devotion,  he  was  well  aware  what  his 
elders  were  at  and  could  get  a  kind  of 
dim  side  view  of  the  kirk  all  the  time 
with  the  corner  of  his  left  eye,  a  matter 
which  had  taken  him  years  of  practice  to 
arrive  at,  to  contrive  it  so  that  no  one  no- 
ticed it. 

However,  no  gipsy  lady  came. 

After  service  the  minister  was  in  the 
vestry  having  a  chat  with  Gavin  Mac- 
Gregor, the  elder. 

"MacGregor,"  says  he,  putting  on  an 
overcoat  which  he  would  wear  now  and 
then,  even  though  the  weather  was  very 
warm  for  it — so  as  to  go  one  better  than 
his  parishioners,  so  to  speak. 

"  MacGregor,  I  hear  the  gipsies  are  up 
the  glen  again  this  year." 

"  Ay  ! "  replied  the  elder,  with  a  twinkle 
in  his  eye,  but  not  liking  to  say  outright 


Gipsies  of  the  Glen  33 

to  the  minister  that  he  knew  very  well 
what  he  was  at.     "  Ay  !  they've  come." 

"And  I  hear,  too,"  says  the  minister, 
after  a  thoughtful  pause,  "  that  there  is  a 
young  woman,  a  stranger,  with  them." 

"  Ay  !  "  was  MacGregor's  comment,  "  I 
heard  that  too." 

"  I  wonder,"  says  the  minister,  "  that 
these  kind  of  folk  never  come  to  the  kirk 
when  it's  so  handy." 

"  They'll  hae  a  religion  of  their  own 
most  likely,"  answered  the  elder,  "  no 
that  I  think  much  of  home-made  relig- 
ions, but  they'll  hae  one  very  probably  ; 
or  maybe  it's  Sabbath  garments  they  lack 
for." 

"MacGregor,"  says  the  minister  very 
earnestly,  "  I  kind  of  feel  it  my  duty  to 
step  up  the  glen." 

"  She's  a  bonnie,  winsome  lassie,"  says 
MacGregor,  "  but  it'll  no  harm,  you  being 
a  married  man." 

"There's  no  fear  of  that,"  says  the 
minister,  "  but  I  feel  it  put  on  me  to  get 
the  lassie  you  name  to  come  to  kirk," 
and  with  that  he  out  from  the  vestry  to 
talk  with  one  or  two  of  the  folk  in  the 


34  The  Elder  MacGregor 

graveyard  and  a  little  later  he  was  seen 
going  towards  the  glen. 

No  sooner  had  the  minister  disappeared 
than  MacGregor,  who  felt  as  much  in- 
terested as  any  one  else  in  the  gipsy,  and 
who  was  filled  in  addition  with  a  pardon- 
able curiosity  as  to  how  the  minister 
would  fare  with  her,  let  fall  a  few  details 
in  the  kirkyard  of  the  conversation  in  the 
vestry.  And  this  so  set  Mistress  Mackie 
and  the  postman  and  one  or  two  others 
by  the  ears  that  nothing  would  serve  the 
parish  but  a  walk  up  the  glen  that  Sab- 
bath after  the  minister. 

They  set  out  in  twos  and  threes,  gather- 
ing an  odd  lounger  into  their  numbers 
now  and  then  as  they  went  by  the  vil- 
lage, and  growing  to  be  quite  a  company 
in  this  manner  ere  they  approached  the 
glen. 

They  could  see  the  minister  away  ahead 
of  them  in  his  overcoat,  but  he,  for  his 
part,  was  quite  unconscious  of  his  sheep 
being  after  him. 

When  he  was  well  clear  of  the  cottages 
he  stopped  and  took  off  his  overcoat, 
hanging  it  over  his  arm  in  place  of  wear- 


Gipsies  of  the  Glen  35 

ing  it,  which  was  wise  of  him,  as  the  sun 
was  very  strong. 

Then,  away  onwards,  he  stepped  more 
briskly  to  the  glen. 

Mistress  Mackie  mentioned,  with  a  glug- 
glug  in  her  throat,  that  she  wished  his 
wife,  who  had  gone  home  to  attend  to 
the  children,  could  see  what  he  was  at ; 
but  this  insinuation  was  received  with 
such  a  storm  of  disapproval  that  she  soon 
fell  silent. 

"We're  no  following  the  man  out  of 
any  suspicion  of  his  intentions,"  said  old 
MacGregor.  "  No,  no !  I'll  admit  she's  a 
winsome  gipsy,  a  very  singular  winsome 
gipsy,  but  Heaven  forbid  we  should  think 
ill  of  the  minister." 

"He  hadnae  his  book  with  him,  how- 
ever," said  somebody. 

"  I  noticed  that,"  replied  the  elder, 
"  but  it's  no  these  considerations  are  tak- 
ing me  for  a  walk  this  Sabbath.  It's 
more  an  honest  delight  in  the  fine  sun- 
light tempered  with  a  desire  for  shade  in 
the  glen  and  a  kind  of  natural  interest  in 
the  affairs  of  yon  gipsies  beyond  it." 

When  the  minister  got  into  the  shade  of 


36  The  Elder  MacGregor 

the  trees  he  began  looking  about  for  the 
handsome  young  gipsy  lady,  but  for  some 
time  could  find  no  trace  of  her. 

At  last,  however,  he  came  upon  her 
sitting  down  by  one  of  the  pools  of  the 
water  that  flows  through  the  glen,  with 
her  back  towards  him,  holding  a  stick 
with  a  string  at  the  far  end  of  it,  out  over 
the  pool,  apparently  fishing  for  trout  or 
minnows. 

She  was  alone,  and  he  stood  regarding 
her  for  some  time  before  he  approached  her. 

Through  the  trees,  to  the  left,  he  could 
just  catch  a  glimpse  of  the  gipsy  encamp- 
ment and  the  smoke  rising  from  it,  and  in 
front  of  him  sat  the  gipsy  lady  whom  folks 
were  talking  of.  She  had  earrings  in  her 
ears  and  some  berries  stuck  in  her  dark 
hair,  and  maybe  it  was  these  or  the  bend 
of  her  neck,  or  something  else  about  her 
that  kept  the  minister  watching  her  for  a 
time  before  he  went  to  her. 

But  he  was  no  man  for  over-long  dally- 
ing, so  changing  his  coat  from  the  one  arm 
to  the  other  he  stepped  down  to  her,  mak- 
ing some  noise  amongst  the  undergrowth 
to  attract  her  attention. 


Gipsies  of  the  Glen  37 

"Young  woman,"  said  the  minister, 
severely,  "this  is  the  Sabbath,"  and  he 
cast  a  withering  glance  at  her  fishing-rod 
as  he  spoke. 

For  answer,  she  looked  up  at  him,  quite 
cool,  and  gave  a  merry  laugh,  which  so 
took  him  aback  when  coupled  with  her 
beauty,  that  the  minister,  married  man  and 
all,  flushed  crimson  and  shuffled  his  feet 
about  as  though  they  were  too  large  for 
him. 

"  Do  you  never  come  to  kirk  ?  "  says  he 
presently. 

"  No,"  said  the  gipsy,  smiling. 

"Are  you  aware  that  you  possess  a 
soul  ?  "  says  the  minister. 

"  I  wasnae  very  sure  about  it,"  says  the 
gipsy. 

"  An  immortal  soul,"  says  the  minister, 
changing  his  coat  to  the  other  arm,  "  a 
soul  that  requires  communion  and  a  heap 
of  things  you  are  ignorant  of — or  maybe," 
he  stammers,  remembering  suddenly  that 
she  was  reported  to  be  no  true  gipsy, 
"  maybe  you  are  aware  of  them  but  neglect 
them." 

Just  at  that  minute  the  gipsy  hooked  a 


38  The  Elder  MacGregor 

trout  of  moderate  size,  and  the  minister, 
being  ever  a  very  keen  fisher  and  fearing 
that  the  trout  would  be  off  the  hook  if  he 
did  not  help  her,  was  down  at  her  side  in 
less  time  than  it  takes  to  write  of,  and 
throwing  aside  his  overcoat,  had  landed 
the  fish  for  her,  almost  before  the  parish, 
who  were  now  within  sight  of  them,  could 
make  out  what  he  was  at. 

Up  to  this  point  the  parish  had  been 
coming  after  him  with  no  thought  of  con- 
cealment whatever,  intending,  doubtless,  to 
pass  by  the  minister  in  the  most  natural 
way  when  the}'  happened  upon  him  just  as 
though  it  were  the  custom  to  stroll  up  the 
glen  after  kirk  on  Sabbath. 

But  the  sight  of  him  catching  a  fish  for 
the  gipsy  acted  like  a  bucket  of  cold  water 
poured  down  the  back  of  the  parish. 

A  feeling  that  "  it  wouldnae  be  fair  to 
the  minister  to  catch  him  at  it "  took  hold 
of  them,  and  the  parish,  out  of  simple 
good-heartedness  took  refuge  round  about 
in  hiding  amongst  the  trees. 

The  good  man  himself,  having  caught 
the  trout,  felt  rather  ashamed,  and  picking 
up  his  coat,  was  about  to  touch  upon  the 


Gipsies  of  the  Glen  39 

subject  of  kirk  and  one's  immortal  soul 
again,  when  Mistress  Mackie,  who  had 
been  hard  put  to  it  to  restrain  that  chronic 
cough  of  hers,  gave  a  glug-glug  behind  a 
tree  at  some  little  distance. 

"  What's  that  ?  "  gasped  the  minister. 
Then  he  burst  into  a  perspiration  from  the 
mental  agony  of  it,  for  he  perceived  from 
the  edge  of  a  coat-tail  appearing  here,  or  a 
dress  there,  that  he  was  doubtless  under 
observation,  and  that  the  trout  had  proba- 
bly been  caught  in  sight  of  the  parish. 

Just  as  the  parish  was  in  hiding  out  of 
sympathy  for  the  minister,  so  after  a  mo- 
ment's reflection  the  minister,  thinking 
they  would  like  but  little  to  be  discovered, 
now  decided  to  ignore  their  whereabouts. 
But  he  wished  he  was  at  home  at  his  din- 
ner instead  of  talking  to  the  lovely  gipsy 
lady  who  had  been  instrumental  in  leading 
him  to  catch  a  fish  upon  the  Sabbath. 

"  Well,"  said  he,  to  end  it  as  quickly  as 
possible,  and  hoping  the  gipsy  would  not 
notice  the  glug-glug  of  Mistress  MackiOj 
"I  wish  to  ask  you  two  questions — first, 
Are  you  a  gipsy  or  a  make-believe  ?  " 

"I'm  a  gipsy  right  enough,"  says  she. 


4-0  The  Elder  MacGregor 

"  My  father  was  a  gentleman,  but  I'm  a 
gipsy — they  call  me  the  White  Queen — 
you'll  see  me  at  the  fairs  now  and  then." 

"  God  forbid,"  said  the  minister,  and  an 
approving  "  glug-glug  "  came  from  Mistress 
Mackie. 

"  I'm  disappointed,"  continued  the  min- 
ister, "  for  the  parish  had  it  you  were  mas- 
querading ;  but  the  kirk's  open  to  you  all 
the  same.  The  second  question  is — Will 
you  come  ?  You  needn't  trouble  yourself 
about  the  plate,  just  put  a  shawl  round 
you.  I'll  tell  the  elder,  Mr.  MacGregor,  a 
very  worthy  man,  to  look  after  you." 

From  a  movement  behind  a  tree  to  the 
left  of  him  at  this  juncture  the  minister 
spotted  the  vicinity  of  the  elder.  He  was 
glad  he  had  spoken  of  his  worthiness,  it 
would  serve  to  discount  the  catching  of  the 
fish. 

"  Will  you  come  ?  "  he  repeated. 

"  No,"  said  the  gipsy,  with  a  laugh,  and 
glancing  round  in  a  queer  fashion  at  the 
tree.     "  No,  I'll  no  come." 

A  loud  glug-glug  from  Mistress  Mackie 
made  the  minister  perspire  again. 

"My  wife,"  said  he  very  loudly,  "my 


Gipsies  of  the  Glen  41 

wife  and  children  will  be  waiting  for  me 
at  home.  I've  tried  to  convert  you  and 
I'm  sorry  if  I've  failed." 

"  Are  you  married  ?  "  asked  the  gipsy. 

"  I  am,  and  been  blessed  more  than  I  de- 
serve in  my  family ;  my  quiver  is  very  full." 

Glug-glug  from  the  trees. 

"The  fish  is  your  catching,"  said  the 
gipsy. 

"No,  no,"  said  the  minister,  "'tis  the 
fish  of  sin." 

The  "White  Queen  burst  into  such  a  fit 
of  merriment  at  this,  that  the  minister  got 
off  as  quickly  as  he  could  with  decency, 
and  was  presently  footing  it  down  the 
glen.  As  for  the  gipsy,  she  took  the 
berries  from  her  hair  and  threw  them 
towards  the  tree  where  Mistress  Mackie 
was  hiding,  and  then  went  away  laughing. 

"  He  conducted  himself  very  well,"  was 
the  general  verdict  of  the  parish.  "  Forbye 
the  fishing,  which  was  inexcusable,  the 
whole  affair  was  disappointing,  she  being 
a  gipsy  all  the  time." 

There  matters  might  have  rested  but 
that,  when  service  was  commencing  next 
Sabbath  in  the  usual  manner — to  the  sur- 


42  The  Elder  MacGregor 

prise  of  everybody  in  the  kirk,  in  walked 
the  handsome  gipsy,  and  pushing  past 
MacGregor,  who  hastened  to  open  a  pew, 
made  her  way  straight  to  where  the  minis- 
ter's wife  was,  and  with  all  the  imperti- 
nence in  the  world  sat  down  beside  her. 

That  the  congregation  was  greatly  put 
about  was  not  to  be  wondered  at,  for  the 
gipsy  had  come  to  kirk  dressed  just  as  she 
went  about  the  woods. 

As  for  the  minister,  her  arrival  in  his 
wife's  pew  seemed  to  take  the  man  aback 
so  greatly  that  he  stammered  in  a  very 
curious  fashion  and  choked  over  his  water 
in  the  middle  of  his  sermon,  and  when  the 
ringing  laugh  of  the  handsome  gipsy  was 
heard  at  this,  an  awed  hush  fell  over  the 
kirk  as  though  folks  expected  the  day  of 
judgment. 

It  was  the  only  time  the  minister  had 
ever  been  laughed  at  in  his  kirk,  and  so 
disturbed  was  he  that  he  broke  down 
altogether  and  leaned  over  the  pulpit  to 
the  precentor,  and  said,  "  Andy,  sing  the 
Psalm,"  and  there  was  a  general  feeling 
that  something  had  gone  wrong  with  the 
service. 


Gipsies  of  the  Glen  43 

That,  however,  was  not  all,  for  the  fol- 
lowing Sabbath  down  comes  the  gipsy 
again,  and  this  time  not  alone,  but  bring- 
ing with  her  the  whole  tribe  of  them  from 
their  tents,  about  six  or  seven  of  them 
in  all,  and  never  a  penny  for  the  plate 
amongst  them,  but  all  looking  very  un- 
happy over  being  there  except  the  one  fair 
lassie. 

And  when  she  laughed  again  at  the 
minister  over  something  he  said,  there 
were  some  in  kirk  said  that  if  there  were 
more  of  these  gipsies  coming,  religion 
would  go  to  the  pigs  and  whistles  and  the 
kirk  after  it.  Altogether,  it  had  been  a 
sad  mistake  asking  the  gipsies  to  come 
at  all. 

The  bulk  of  the  gipsies  had  enough  at 
one  service,  but  some  of  them  came  again, 
and  would  look  up  and  smile  at  the  minis- 
ter and  sometimes  laugh,  and  the  rest,  and 
altogether  behave  very  badly,  so  that  the 
man's  sermons  were  disorganized  over  it 
and  folk  shocked  at  the  gipsies'  conduct. 

Folks  knew  that  there  was  nothing  be- 
tween the  gipsy  and  the  minister,  but  they 
would  say  to  themselves,  "  Aye,  it's  a  pity ; 


44  The  Elder  MacGregor 

we  ken  quite  well  what's  wrong  with  the 
minister  in  the  pulpit  with  yon  handsome 
gipsy  under  him.  He'll  be  thinking  all 
the  time :  '  Doubtless  the  parish  imagine 
I've  seen  the  lass  many  a  time  privately, 
and  that  her  beauty  and  the  rest  has  got 
at  me  to  make  me  uncomfortable.'  " 

"  Man,"  old  MacGregor  used  to  say,  "  if 
these  considerations  are  no  enough  to  dis- 
turb a  minister  I  don't  know  what  will ! 
I  wouldnae  have  been  in  his  shoes  for  a 
good  deal." 

Why  the  gipsy  came  to  kirk  at  all  no 
one  knew,  except  for  pure  devilment,  but 
each  time  the  minister  grew  more  and 
more  uncomfortable  through  being  sensi- 
tive, though  there  was  never  a  word  in 
private  between  them  all  this  time,  and 
folks  even  said  his  wife  was  suspicious,  and 
when  it  came  to  that  something  had  to  be 
done. 

The  end  of  it  was,  according  to  Mac- 
Gregor, "  that  at  last,  from  sheer  sympathy 
with  the  man  and  for  the  stability  of  the 
kirk,  we  got  up  another  depitation,  as  was 
the  way  of  the  parish  in  a  difficulty. 
Andy,  the  precentor,  headed  it,  and  we 


Gipsies  of  the  Glen  45 

said  nothing  to  the  minister.  But  one 
Thursday  we  went  up  in  force  to  the  glen, 
and  Andy  rapped  on  the  gipsies'  tent  and 
askit  to  see  the  party  we  had  once  thought 
was  better  than  the  rest  of  them,  but  who 
had  proved  to  be  worse.  And  when  she 
came  out  Andy  expressed  the  general  de- 
sire of  the  congregation  that  for  the  future 
she  would  do  her  worshiping  elsewhere. 
Man,  she  made  a  very  strange  answer,  a 
queer  proposition. 

" '  I'm  called  the  White  Queen,'  says 
she,  'and  I've  been  in  the  habit  of  play- 
acting. Now  I'll  make  a  bargain — there'll 
be  only  threepence  charge,  with  sixpence 
for  the  best  seats — but  we're  putting  up  a 
tent  and  I'm  giving  a  performance.  I'll 
avoid  the  kirk  for  the  future  on  the  con- 
dition that  you'll  all  come.' 

"  Man,  we  all  shivered  at  the  idea,  but 
she  was  firm.  And  gradual  it  came  round 
about  us  that  here  was  a  chance  of  seeing 
a  theatrical  performance  with  no  damage 
to  our  souls  over  it,  for  it  was  to  save  the 
kirk  and  the  minister. 

"  Somebody  promulgated  that  view  of  it 
amongst  us. 


46  The  Elder  MacGregor 

"  Weel,  it  ended  as  she  wished. 

"  We  freed  the  kirk  of  the  she-devil  and 
she'd  a  full  tent.  The  performance  was  on 
a  Wednesday  night,  latish,  and  the  minis- 
ter never  heard  tell  of  it  at  all.  It  was  a 
most  enjoyable  evening  on  the  whole,  and 
the  lassie  proved  real  clever ;  but  what  we 
went  into  yon  house  of  sin  for,  wasnae,  of 
course,  the  enjoyment. 

"  Still,  it  was  very,  very  good." 


MacGregor  has  told  me  that  he  believes 
the  fair  gipsy  is  now  play-acting  some- 
where beyond  the  border.  The  gipsies 
have  often  returned,  but  she  is  never  with 
them  now. 

But  some  of  the  folks  even  go  so  far  as 
to  say  they  would  not  mind  if  she  did 
come  back  with  her  troublesome  ways  and 
make  another  bargain  with  them,  though 
the  opinion  is  universal  to  this  day  that 
sixpence  was  an  extravagant  charge  for 
the  best  seats. 

"  Threepence  was  mair  like  it,"  was 
MacGregor's  comment,  "  but  one  couldnae 
sit  with  everybody  else  for  the  sake  of  a 


Gipsies  of  the  Glen  47 

threepenny  bit — still,  it  was  dear.  Folks, 
you  see,  considered  they  were  giving  the 
money  to  the  kirk  in  going  to  yon  enter- 
tainment, and  the  kirk  plate  was  very  dry 
and  empty  for  a  Sabbath  or  two  after  it. 
You  couldnae  reasonably  expect  a  man  to 
give  twice  ! " 


CHAPTER  IV 

MISTRESS     MACKIE     AND    THE    POWDERS 

One  very  sweet  Spring,  when  the  leaves 
were  fresh  and  young  upon  the  trees,  and 
the  birds  had  just  begun  to  sing  to  one 
another  in  the  early  morning,  Mistress 
Mackie  caught  a  nasty  chill  through 
gossiping  over  late  at  a  neighbor's  cottage, 
and  going  home  head-bare  after  it  through 
a  shower  of  rain. 

Mistress  Mackie  was  at  that  time  post- 
mistress of  the  village,  having,  so  to  speak, 
acquired  the  shop  and  the  post-office  to- 
gether, about  a  year  previously  on  the 
death  of  her  cousin,  who  had  held  them 
before  her. 

When  she  had  first  taken  up  the  post- 
office,  through  being  the  nearest  relative 
of  the  deceased,  folks  had  shaken  their 
heads,  and  there  were  one  or  two  of  them 
went  so  far  as  to  say  she  was  ill-fitted  to 
take  charge  of  their  correspondence,  and 
it  is  true  that  she  was  fair  bewildered  just 
48 


Mistress  Mackie  49 

at  starting  as  to  what  to  do  with  letters 
and  the  rest  of  it,  for  the  whole  thing  was 
new  to  her. 

The  boy  Thomas,  however,  who  had 
been  reared  to  the  bringing  over  of  tele- 
grams from  a  distance,  came  to  live  with 
her  for  a  week  or  two,  she  being  his  aunt 
by  blood,  and  the  postman  helped  her,  so 
that  Mistress  Mackie  fell  into  her  new 
duties  easily  enough  after  the  first  few 
weeks  of  it,  and  would  sell  stamps  and  the 
rest  with  a  grand  air  about  her  just  as 
though  she  had  been  accustomed  to  it  all 
her  life. 

As  the  postmistress  was  ever  a  woman 
of  some  importance,  it  now  became  a 
matter  of  public  interest  when  illness 
seized  her. 

It  was  not  so  much  a  question  of  delays 
of  correspondence,  for  in  these  days  no 
great  regularity  was  expected  from  Mistress 
Mackie  or  the  post-office  either,  but  it  be- 
came an  anxious  problem  as  to  whether 
what  she  had  about  her  was  catching,  and 
would  be  likely  to  get  about  the  parish 
through  the  letters  having  passed  through 
Mistress  Mackie's  hands. 


50  The  Elder  MacGregor 

When  folks  heard  she  was  in  bed  with 
an  illness  to  which  no  name  had  been  put, 
and  that  the  minister  had  been  to  see  her, 
it  was  with  a  grave  face  they  would  meet 
the  postman  and  a  wide  berth  they  would 
give  him  in  the  road ;  and  MacGregor,  the 
kirk  elder,  who  had  the  misfortune  to 
receive  several  letters  a  week,  was  known 
to  have  directed  the  postman  somewhat 
sternly  to  lay  the  letters  on  the  window- 
sill  to  evaporate  a  bit  before  he  touched 
them. 

"When  this  had  gone  on  for  a  little,  much 
to  every  one's  discomfort,  not  to  mention 
the  feelings  of  the  old  postman — it  got 
about  one  day  that  Mistress  Mackie  was 
very  decidedly  worse,  and  the  desire 
became  general  that  the  doctor,  who 
lived  a  few  miles  away,  should  be  told  to 
drive  over  in  his  dog-cart  and  report 
whether  she  should  have  anything  to  do 
with  folks'  correspondence  or  give  it  the 
go-by. 

It  was  the  topic  of  discussion  at  the  kirk 
door  on  Sabbath,  and  MacGregor  took 
upon  himself  as  the  result  of  it  to  walk 
over  to  the  doctor's  after  the  kirk  had 


Mistress  Mackie  51 

scaled  and  leave  word  for  him  to  drive  in 
to  see  Mistress  Mackie. 

Now  if  there  was  one  person  whom 
Mistress  Mackie  liked  less  than  another  it 
was  the  doctor ;  she  had,  indeed,  a  positive 
aversion  to  the  man,  and  would  rather 
have  died  with  nobody  attending  her  than 
live  with  the  doctor  by  her. 

She  and  the  doctor  had  fallen  foul  of  one 
another  on  two  occasions,  and  in  such 
fashion  that  Mistress  Mackie  had  never 
forgotten. 

The  first  of  these  was  on  that  dreadful 
Sabbath  morning  when,  for  once  in  a  way 
he  had  come  in  to  hear  the  minister,  and 
happening  to  be  just  behind  Mistress 
Mackie  as  they  passed  the  plate,  had 
trodden  upon  the  hem  of  her  dress  so 
sharply  and  unfortunately  that  there  was 
a  wrench  and  a  tear,  and  the  whole  fabric 
gave  way  at  the  waist  and  left  her  shamed 
in  a  second  before  the  elders. 

Mistress  Mackie  was  long  before  she  for- 
gave the  doctor  for  this  mishap. 

When  it  was  made  up  at  last  between 
them,  the  doctor  fell  into  another  mistake 
by  attempting  to  cure  her  of  that  nervous 


52  The  Elder  MacGregor 

cough  or  glug-glug  in  her  throat  which  she 
was  ever  afflicted  with  and  which  was 
wont  to  disturb  the  congregation  so  much 
during  the  minister's  sermon. 

He  tried  burning  the  good  woman's 
throat,  and  then  he  drugged  her  and  gave 
her  medicines  and  jujubes,  and  did  some- 
thing to  the  back  of  her  tongue  with  an 
instrument  which  she  liked  but  little,  and 
notwithstanding  this,  the  glug-glug  and 
the  glou-glou  went  on  as  constant  as  ever ; 
in  fact  the  doctor  was  credited  with  hav- 
ing made  it  worse  instead  of  better,  and 
altogether  Mistress  Mackie  felt  that  she 
had  good  reason  to  feel  aggrieved  when 
the  man  told  her  one  day  that  she  had 
beaten  science  and  might  be  pronounced 
incurable. 

The  minister  was  reading  a  Psalm  to  the 
sick  postmistress  on  the  Sabbath  afternoon 
by  way  of  cheering  her,  since  she  could 
not  come  to  the  kirk,  when  the  doctor's 
rap-tap  sounded  on  the  outer  door  of  the 
shop.  And  then,  without  further  warning 
(the  shop  door  being  left  on  the  hinge  to 
admit  folks  without  troubling  Mistress 
Mackie  to  leave  her  bed),  in  marches  the 


Mistress  Mackie  53 

man  of  science  into  the  back  room  with 
a  cheery  "  How  do  you  do,  Mistress 
Mackie  ?  "  on  his  lips. 

The  minister  closed  his  book  and  shook 
hands  with  the  doctor,  bidding  him  sit 
down,  as  if  the  place  belonged  to  him,  and 
saying  that  he  thought  the  invalid  was  in 
a  fair  way  though  still  "  much  about  it," 
by  which  he  meant  that  she  was  neither 
improving  nor  the  reverse. 

Then  he  and  the  doctor  fell  into  a  long 
argument  as  to  a  case  of  typhoid  fever 
last  year,  when  the  doctor  had  disagreed 
with  the  minister  over  some  point  or  an- 
other, and  the  minister  had  got  the  best  of 
it  at  the  time  because  the  child  with  the 
fever  died. 

It  was  like  a  bet  they  had  made  between 
them,  the  minister  saying,  "  You're  wrong, 
doctor,"  and  the  doctor  saying,  "  No,  min- 
ister, you'll  see  I'm  right,"  and  the  minister 
had  won. 

They  were  both  prepared,  so  it  seemed, 
for  another  bet  on  the  subject  of  Mistress 
Mackie. 

As  for  that  good  lady  she  lay  still  and 
stared  speechlessly  at  the  doctor  from  the 


54  The  Elder  MacGregor 

moment  of  his  entry,  but  one  could  tell 
she  was  very  angry  from  the  twitch  of  her 
hand  on  the  counterpane,  and  from  the 
glug-glug  in  her  throat  going  very  quickly 
all  the  time  the  minister  was  framing  his 
discussion  with  the  doctor. 

There  was  nothing  in  the  world  the  pair 
of  them  liked  better  than  an  argument 
when  they  met  by  a  sick-bed,  it  gave  life 
and  zest  to  the  case,  for  without  specula- 
tion, an  illness  was  but  a  poor  affair. 

When  they  had  at  last  got  matters  to  a 
question  of  treatment,  the  doctor  saying, 
"  If  Mistress  Mackie  has  the  symptoms 
you  describe  then  I  am  going  to  do  so  and 
so,"  and  the  minister  replying,  "  I  think 
you  should  consider  some  other  treatment," 
and  the  doctor  answering,  "  You  can  trust 
me  to  know  what  is  best,"  and  the  minister 
lifting  his  hands  resignedly  and  replying, 
"  Well,  I  hope  she'll  live"  meaning  all  the 
time  that  he'd  have  lost  the  argument  if 
she  did,  the  doctor,  for  the  first  time,  drew 
his  chair  over  to  the  bedside  to  have  some 
sort  of  closer  look  at  Mistress  Mackie. 

"Maybe,"  says  he  to  the  minister, 
"  maybe,  the  symptoms  you've  described 


Mistress  Mackie  55 

are  all  wrong — in  which  case,"  he  adds, 
"there's  no  argument.  Mistress  Mackie, 
let  me  see  your  tongue." 

Mistress  Mackie  put  out  a  tongue  that 
was  withered  both  with  age  and  long  gos- 
siping, and  the  doctor  looked  at  it  very 
closely.  Then  he  took  her  wrist  and  held 
it  and  counted,  watch  in  hand,  and  lost 
count  and  began  over  again,  and  then 
says  he, 

"  Ay,  you're  ill,  Mistress  Mackie,  there's 
no  question  but  you're  ill.  I'll  send  you 
a  powder  which  you'll  take  as  directed. 
And  for  the  meantime,"  he  adds,  getting 
in  a  dig  at  the  minister,  "you'll  avoid 
draughty  places,  like  the  kirk  and  so  on, 
for  a  time.  I'll  wish  you  good-day.  By 
the  way,"  says  he  very  earnestly,  a  sudden 
thought  striking  him,"  are  there  any  let- 
ters for  me,  accumulated  through  your 
illness  ?  " 

"Yes,"  says  Mistress  Mackie,  "twa  in 
the  shop  and  a  post  card  ;  I  thought  of 
sending  them  out  yesterday." 

"  Bless  me,"  said  the  doctor,  "  this  will 
never  do  at  all — we'll  have  to  get  you  on 
your  feet  again  very  quickly,"  and  out  he 


56  The  Elder  MacGregor 

went  to  the  shop  to  search  for  his  letters, 
leaving  the  minister  to  recommence  the 
Psalm. 

Presently  they  heard  him  call,  "  I've 
found  the  letters,  Mistress  Mackie — don't 
forget  to  take  the  powder,"  and  then  they 
heard  the  shop  door  slam. 

"Mistress  Mackie,"  said  the  minister 
very  earnestly,  "I  studied  medicine  and 
failed  in  it  before  I  took  up  the  kirk,  and 
so  I  know  all  about  it.  Take  my  advice, 
woman.  He's  a  careless,  free  and  easy 
physician  forbye  all  his  cleverness.  Take 
my  advice,  give  these  powders  of  his  the 
go-by." 

"  Glug-glug,"  replied  Mistress  Mackie, 
crumpling  the  counterpane  fiercely  in  her 
left  hand,  "  do  you  think  I'd  owe  my  life 
to  the  powders  of  yon  man  ?  No  likely. 
I'd  sooner  die." 

"  I'm  glad  you  feel  that,"  said  the  min- 
ister rising  and  closing  his  book,  "  if  you 
should  pass  away  after  all,  the  man  won't 
have  murder  on  his  soul." 


Mistress  Mackie  got  worse  and  worse. 


Mistress  Mackie  57 

The  minister  visited  her  maybe  three  times 
a  day,  and  the  letters  were  in  a  hopeless 
state,  the  postman  doing  his  best,  but 
never  getting  right  abreast  of  them. 

The  doctor  would  drive  over  now  and 
then  and  leave  fresh  powders,  but  they  did 
Mistress  Mackie  no  good,  and  the  minister 
and  MacGregor  had  already  been  round 
the  kirkyard  to  choose  a  bit  of  grass  be- 
neath which  the  good  woman  might 
presently  repose. 

The  doctor  felt  as  she  grew  worse  that 
the  minister  had  won  the  day  over  the 
question  of  his  treatment,  but  for  reputa- 
tion and  the  sake  of  argument  he  could 
only  hope  that  Mistress  Mackie  would 
weather  through  after  all,  in  spite  of  the 
powders  which  he  now  feared  were  harm- 
ing her  rather  than  because  of  them. 

As  for  the  minister,  he  began  to  feel  as 
if  there  was  a  sin  upon  his  soul,  for  he 
knew  of  a  corner  in  the  cupboard  where 
all  the  doctor's  powders  lay,  and  one  day 
after  he  had  been  down  having  another 
look  at  Mistress  Mackie's  grave,  he  had  a 
mighty  struggle  with  himself  in  the  kirk- 
yard, and  then  up  he  steps  with  a  face  set 


58  The  Elder  MacGregor 

with  resolution,  and  straight  into  Mistress 
Mackie's  room  and  says  he,  very  stern, 

"  Mistress  Mackie  just  try  one  of  yon 
powders — if  it  kills  you  it  doesnae  matter, 
for  you're  to  die  any  way — I  would  flee 
to  the  doctor  if  I  were  you,  without  say- 
ing anything,  as  a  last  resort." 

From  that  hour  Mistress  Mackie  bettered 
and  went  on  bettering,  and  the  minister 
ceased  going  down  to  contemplate  her 
grave,  and  folks'  correspondence  got 
straighter,  and  the  doctor  stopped  coming 
altogether,  and  the  postman  was  no  longer 
avoided  in  the  parish  as  though  he  were  a 
leper. 

And  at  the  last  one  Sabbath  there  was 
Mistress  Mackie  in  kirk  in  all  her  finery, 
glug-glugging  in  her  throat  and  disturbing 
the  minister  and  MacGregor  and  the  con- 
gregation as  usual,  and  looking  as  well  as 
ever. 

The  minister  preached  a  very  short  and 
sad  sermon  that  day,  and  folks  said  he 
was  kind  of  humiliated  in  the  pulpit  and 
not  like  himself  at  all — as  if  he  had  had  a 
sore  disappointment  of  some  kind,  or  lost 
faith  in  himself  over  something. 


Mistress  Mackie  59 

They  had  never  known  him  so  humble 
or  weak  and  flabby  in  his  discourse. 

After  service  he  sent  to  summon  Mis- 
tress Mackie  to  the  vestry,  and  when  she 
came  to  him  he  said  : 

"  Did  you  return  the  balance  of  those 
powders  to  the  doctor  ?  " 

"  No,"  says  she  with  a  glug-glug,  "  I 
never  thought  of  it." 

"  I  would  do  so,"  said  the  minister,  "  it's 
never  well  for  a  man  to  be  puffed  up  and 
set  up  too  high  in  pride — I  would  return 
him  those  powders,  for  I'm  not  so  very 
certain  that  it  was  the  powders  that  cured 
you  after  all.  I've  been  thinking  it  was 
very  likely  the  avoidance  of  them  in  the 
earlier  stages  that  effected  the  cure." 

So  when  the  minister  and  the  doctor 
next  met  neither  of  them  quite  knew  who 
had  the  best  of  it,  for  the  doctor  thought 
Mistress  Mackie  had  saved  her  life  by 
ceasing  to  take  the  powders  and  the  min- 
ister knew  it  had  been  somewhat  other- 
wise, since  it  was  the  powders  which  had 
cured  her  after  all. 

However,  the  doctor  called  on  Mistress 
Mackie  and  instructed  her  somewhat  ear- 


60  The  Elder  MacGregor 

nestly  to  say  nothing  to  the  minister  on  the 
subject,  and  some  one  else  was  buried  in 
the  grave  the  minister  had  chosen  for  Mis- 
tress Mackie,  and  there  the  whole  matter 
lay. 


CHAPTER  V 

MACGREGOR   ATTENDS   A   FIRE 

In  the  winter  time,  one  night,  when  it 
was  snowing  heavily,  the  village  was 
startled  by  a  report  that  there  was  a  fire 
up  at  Farmer  Grierson's. 

A  good  number  of  the  folks  were  in  bed 
at  the  time,  but  as  a  thing  of  this  kind 
did  not  occur  every  day,  the  luck  of  the 
village  being  nothing  great  in  the  way 
of  accidents  and  disasters,  everybody  made 
haste  to  shuffle  on  their  clothes  again 
in  order  to  see  what  was  doing  up  the 
hill. 

There  was  a  very  satisfactory  red  glow 
in  the  sky,  and  many  were  the  conjectures 
amongst  the  folk  as  they  set  out  in  small 
groups  over  the  snow. 

Mistress  Mackie,  the  postmistress,  ven- 
tured to  express  a  hope  that  the  fire  might 
not  be  over  when  they  got  there,  not  that 
she  wished  any  ill  to  any  one,  but  more  in 
the  way  of  asking  Providence  to  keep  the 

61 


62  The  Elder  MacGregor 

best  of  it  till  she  happened  to  be  there  to 
see  it. 

Lame  Andy  was  walking  with  Mistress 
Mackie  at  the  time,  and  has  told  me  that 
even  at  this  early  stage  of  it  the  excite- 
ment of  the  lire  had  entered  into  and  pos- 
sessed her. 

Saunders,  the  shoemaker,  was  of  opinion 
that  it  was  nothing  but  a  haystack,  but  in 
his  heart  the  good  man  was  hoping  it  was 
the  house  itself  that  was  ablaze. 

MacGregor,  the  elder,  kept  sighing  and 
totting  up  what  it  might  cost  the  farmer — 
so  much  if  it  were  one  haystack,  so  much 
if  were  two  haystacks,  and  so  much  more 
if  it  were  the  house. 

Altogether  there  were  a  great  number 
of  hopes  and  fears  about  it,  and  many  a 
lamentation  to  the  effect  that  the  snow 
might  leave  off  a  bit  with  decency  to  give 
folks  and  the  fire  a  chance. 

"When  Mistress  Mackie  and  lame  Andy 
got  up  to  the  farm  at  length  there  were  a 
number  there  before  them,  some  of  them 
running  to  and  fro  and  doing  nothing  with 
it  all,  and  others  with  buckets  of  water  and 
half  melted  snow  from  the  well,  for  the 


Attends  a  Fire  63 

frost  not  being  severe  up  to  this  point  of 
the  winter,  there  was  very  little  ice  to  pre- 
vent folks  getting  at  the  water. 

"  Sure  enough,"  says  Mistress  Mackie, 
in  great  excitement,  "  sure  enough  it's  the 
house — no  a  paltry  haystack  this  time.  If 
I'm  no  mistaken  this  will  be  a  great  night 
for  us  all.  Farmer  Grierson's  a  ruined 
man ! "  and  at  that  her  chronic  throat 
affliction  took  hold  of  her  till  they  got 
nearer. 

The  farmhouse  was  a  building  of  two 
stories,  with  an  attic  window  in  the  roof 
belonging  to  a  room  where  a  bed  was  kept 
but  which  was  seldom  in  use ;  but  it 
chanced,  on  this  particular  occasion,  that 
the  farmer's  daughter,  Effie  Williamson, 
who  was  well  married  in  England,  hap- 
pened to  have  come  home  for  a  week  or 
two  with  her  second-born  child,  a  little 
boy  she  called  George,  a  fine  little  fellow 
between  three  and  four  years  of  age. 
Young  George  had  been  put  to  sleep  in  the 
attic-room. 

The  other  inmates  of  the  farm  were 
Effie,  the  farmer  himself,  and  an  old 
woman  whom  he  kept  to  do  the  house  and 


64  The  Elder  MacGregor 

cook  for  him.  They  had  all  retired  to 
bed,  it  seems,  very  early. 

The  farmer  was  first  awakened  by  the 
barking  of  his  dog  in  the  yard,  and  directly 
his  senses  came  to  him,  his  nostrils  became 
conscious  of  smoke  about  the  place.  Sure 
enough  the  house  was  then  blazing,  and 
the  fire  had  evidently  been  at  it  for  some 
time. 

Being  an  old  house  with  a  lot  of  wood 
about  it,  he  knew  the  danger  at  once,  and 
was  out  in  a  moment  and  away  to  his 
daughter's  room  to  waken  her,  and  he  had 
the  old  woman  out  of  her  bed  also,  and 
then  up  for  the  child  and  down  to  join  the 
others  to  fight  their  way  out  through  the 
flames,  with  never  a  thought  of  his  belong- 
ings till  all  their  lives  were  saved. 

Directly  they  were  all  clear  of  the  dwell- 
ing and  standing  footbare  and  shivering  in 
the  snow,  he  handed  the  child  to  some  one 
or  other,  not  noticing  who  received  it,  and 
calling  to  his  daughter  that  she  had  better 
get  over  to  Jameson's  cottage  and  get 
some  clothes  about  her,  back  went  the 
farmer  into  the  flames.  He  came  out  again 
spluttering  through  the  smoke,  bare  to  the 


Attends  a  Fire  65 

waist,  but  with  his  trousers  on  his  legs,  and 
a  pair  of  unlaced  shoes  on  his  feet,  and 
carrying  a  wooden  box  which  doubtless 
held  his  money  and  his  papers,  judging  by 
his  anxiety  to  secure  it. 

Thereafter,  the  village  coming  up  in 
force  to  the  rescue,  there  was  a  great 
fight  as  to  who  should  have  what  remained 
of  the  house — whether  the  men  were  to 
get  it  or  the  flames. 

In  the  middle  of  this  arrives  lame  Andy, 
the  precentor,  with  Mistress  Mackie.  And 
little  did  any  of  them  know  of  the  brave 
deed  she  was  about  to  do  that  night ! 

Lame  Andy  lost  sight  of  her  for  awhile, 
the  snow  being  so  thick  in  falling  and  he 
busy  at  the  well  over  the  buckets  of  water, 
but  presently  he  saw  her  talking  with 
Effie,  who  had  now  returned  from  Jame- 
son's cottage  and  who  was  anxiously  in- 
quiring for  the  child  George,  whom  she 
knew  to  have  been  saved.  It  seems  that 
in  the  scurry  of  it,  through  being  in  her 
night-dress  and  her  feet  bare,  she  had 
thought  that  the  old  woman  had  received 
the  child  from  the  farmer,  and  that  the 
woman  was  following  her,  carrying  George. 


66  The  Elder  MacGregor 

So  she  had  hurried  away  to  Jameson's 
cottage  in  the  hope  that  no  one  might 
see  her  in  her  night-dress.  She  had  got 
some  idea,  it  seems  (through  living  in 
England)  that  this  might  have  harmed 
her. 

However,  when  the  old  woman,  who 
was  slower  of  foot,  came  to  the  cottage, 
too,  she  had  no  child  with  her.  And  this 
was  the  cause  of  the  present  commotion 
and  the  questions  Effie  was  now  address- 
ing to  Mistress  Mackie. 

Unfortunately  enough,  Mistress  Mackie 
got  the  wrong  end  of  the  stick,  thinking 
from  the  mother's  anxiety  that  the  child 
was  still  in  the  house  in  the  very  thick  of 
the  flames,  whereupon  she  fell  very  ex- 
cited and  could  scarcely  speak  for  the 
glug-glug  of  her  chronic  cough  in  her 
throat. 

"Where,"  she  managed  to  utter, 
"  where,  glug-glug,  did  the,  glug-glug, 
bairn  sleep  ?  " 

"  In  the  attic,"  replied  Effie. 

"You've  done  an  ill  thing,  glug-glug, 
and  an  unmotherly,"  says  Mistress  Mackie. 
"Gosh!    who  would   have  thought   it  of 


Attends  a  Fire  67 

Effie — of  Effie,  glug-glug,  "Williamson, 
whom  I  used  to  feed  with  sweeties  when 
she  was  a  bairn,  glug-glug,  glug-glug." 

MacGregor  tells  me  that,  snow  and  all 
falling  between  him  and  her,  Mistress 
Mackie's  indignation  was  a  thing  beautiful 
to  behold.  Effie,  however,  had  passed  on 
elsewhere  to  ask  about  the  child,  and  be- 
fore any  one  could  think  what  she  was  at, 
Mistress  Mackie  was  making  straight  for 
the  flames,  and  there  and  then  before 
them  all,  seen  clearly  by  the  light  cast  by 
the  fire,  in  through  the  smoke  she  goes — 
through  the  doorway  of  the  house  and  dis- 
appears. 

There  was  hardly  a  person  present  who 
was  not  dumbfounded,  and  then  a  shout 
went  up,  "  Mistress  Mackie's  gone  in  the 
house — come  back — save  her."  Andy  was 
the  only  one  who  perceived  the  truth  and 
knew  of  the  mistake  she  made. 

"  She  thinks  the  child's  in  there — Mis- 
tress Mackie,  you  are  mistaken ! "  he 
yelled,  leaping  after  her  as  well  as  his 
lame  leg  would  allow,  but  it  was  too  late, 
Mistress  Mackie  had  disappeared. 

Then  a  great  hush  fell  on  the  crowd 


68  The  Elder  MacGregor 

from  sheer  astonishment,  and  before  any 
one  could  think  what  was  to  be  done,  the 
farmer  leaped  from  among  them  and  dis- 
appeared into  the  house  after  her. 

At  that  very  moment  there  was  a  crash 
indoors  and  some  one  called  out,  "  The 
stair  is  down,"  and  another  said,  "It's 
given  way  under  her  through  being  made 
of  wood,"  and  the  farmer  rushed  out 
again,  choking  and  staggering  and  crying 
to  them  all,  "  She  has  got  up  the  stairs, 
but  they  gave  way  under  me  when  I 
would      have     followed     her  —  Mistress 

Mackie's  done  for "What's  to  happen 

now  ?  " 

"  Poor  Mistress  Mackie,"  said  Saunders, 
"  so  that's  the  end  of  you,  you  deserved  a 
better  fate ! " 

"  She  was  ever  a  bit  slow  in  the  post- 
office,"  said  another,  "  but  I'm  no  saying 
her  successor  will  be  better." 

"  She  bought  ground  in  the  kirkyard 
for  her  grave,  too,"  said  a  third,  "just 
after  her  recent  illness — it's  a  pity  she'll 
never  occupy  it." 

"Lord,  Lord,"  says  a  fourth,  "she  was 
a  silly  dandery  to  gang  into  the  flames 


Attends  a  Fire  69 

— no  the  kind  of  thing  one  expected  of  her 
at  all." 

The  farmer,  meantime,  and  a  few  of  the 
others,  were  busy  getting  a  ladder  in  the 
hopes  of  still  saving  her. 

But  the  majority  of  the  folks  were  re- 
signed, and  the  opinion  was  universal  that 
they  would  never  see  Mistress  Mackie  more. 

"I  wonder  who'll  have  the  post-office 
now  ? "  was  old  MacGregor,  the  elder's, 
comment. 

And  some  one  else  was  heard  to  say 
very  loudly,  "  The  joke  is  that  the  child 
isnae  in  the  house  at  all,  for  they've  found 
him." 

"  I'll  be  able  to  rest  in  the  kirk  now," 
says  MacGregor,  "yon  glug-glug  was 
awful  disturbing.  But,  man,  I'd  do  with 
it  gladly  to  hae  her  back  after  all — not," 
he  added,  "  not  but  it  will  be  more  peace- 
ful, you  ken." 

Some  of  the  women,  however,  were  less 
philosophic,  and  loud  were  the  lamenta- 
tions amongst  them. 

It  had,  meantime,  become  very  evident 
that  the  house  would  be  thoroughly  gutted 
by  the  flames,  and  those  who  managed  to 


jo  The  Elder  MacGregor 

conquer  their  surprise  and  grief  over  Mis- 
tress Mackie  were  now  set  to  saving  the 
stacks  in  the  yard  from  the  falling  sparks 
that  came  down  in  great  numbers  along 
with  the  snow. 

The  farmer,  however  (with  lame  Andy 
and  another)  had  got  the  ladder  against 
the  wall,  and  just  as  he  was  about  to 
mount  it  what  should  appear  at  the  attic 
window  above  him  but  the  face  of  the 
despaired-of  Mistress  Mackie. 

At  that  a  great  shout  arose,  and  the 
farmer  went  up  the  ladder  very  quick. 

But  all  hopes  of  getting  Mistress  Mackie 
down  in  this  fashion  were  suddenly 
damped,  for  it  seemed  that  though  the 
window  was  of  a  fair  size,  Mistress  Mackie 
was  yet  larger,  and  the  farmer,  though  he 
got  on  the  roof  beside  her,  was  quite  un- 
able to  solve  the  problem  of  putting  a 
greater  into  a  less. 

"The  bairn's  gone,"  screamed  Mistress 
Mackie,  from  the  window.  "  Effie,  you, 
glug-glug,  eediot,  you  fair  misled  me.  My 
hairs  be  on  your  head  for  this.  The  stair- 
case is  down  and  the  whole,  glug-glug, 
place  on  fire." 


Attends  a  Fire  71 

Lame  Andy  went  up  the  ladder  very 
quickly  at  this  point,  and  folks  saw  he 
was  carrying  an  axe  or  a  hammer,  and 
how  he  got  up  the  ladder  with  his  lame 
leg,  so  rapidly,  is  a  marvel  in  the  village 
to  this  day. 

"  Give  it  to  me,"  screamed  the  farmer. 

"Take  your  head  in,  Mistress  Mackie. 
There's  no  a  moment  to  save  you." 

And  then  such  a  hammering  and  hack- 
ing at  rotting  wood  and  boards  began  over 
and  amongst  the  flames  that  the  whole 
parish  stood  aghast  at  it. 

You  could  catch  an  occasional  word  such 
as,  "  The  splinters  will  blind  her."  "  Man, 
she  deserves  them  all  if  she  gets  her  life." 
"  She'll  be  very  warm  the  now  in  the  lower 
parts  of  her."  "Man,  the  roof's  in." 
"  Man,  the  farmer's  falling."  "  Andy,  can 
you  no  come  down  ?  "  "  Mistress  Mackie, 
can  you  no  help  them  ?"  And  then  every- 
body began  screaming  and  yelling  direc- 
tions, and  Andy  and  the  farmer  and  Mis- 
tress Mackie  and  the  window  were  half 
lost  to  sight  through  smoke. 

Then  they  saw  the  farmer  dragging  the 
woman  through  the  window,  whilst  lame 


72  The  Elder  MacGregor 

Andy  slid  down  the  ladder  like  lightning, 
"  Mair  of  a  fall  than  a  slide,"  it  has  been 
described  to  me,  and  the  farmer,  with  Mis- 
tress Mackie  over  his  shoulder  like  a  bag 
of  potatoes,  for  she  had  fainted  from 
smoke  and  the  rest  by  this  time,  got  on  the 
ladder  and  came  down  towards  them. 

And  such  a  scream  of  delight  went  up, 
you  would  have  said  Mistress  Mackie  was 
the  most  popular  party  in  the  parish. 

Down  they  came,  and  as  they  came  the 
roof  burst  out  in  flames,  and  in  some  way 
the  ladder  slipped  and  Mistress  Mackie  and 
the  farmer  fell  with  it,  and  folks  say  to  this 
day  that  they'd  have  had  a  poor  time  then 
but  for  the  merciful  thickness  of  the  half 
melted  snow. 

The  folks  were  on  them  to  assist  them  in 
a  moment  and  the  farmer  was  on  his  feet 
directly,  but  they  carried  Mistress  Mackie 
to  a  distance  and  laid  her  down  and  threw 
icy  water  on  her  face  and  all,  and  she 
never  made  a  sign. 

Then  a  hushed  whisper  went  round  that 
she  was  dead  after  all,  and  some  one  said 
it  was  better  dying  here  than  in  the  burn- 
ing house,  for  she'd  have  a  decent  burial, 


Attends  a  Fire  73 

and  the  fire  was  forgotten  for  a  little  be- 
cause of  her.  But  all  of  a  sudden,  when 
all  seemed  over,  there  was  a  gentle  glug- 
glug,  and  then  another  and  another,  and 
old  MacGregor  turned  to  Andy  and  said  : 

"  She's  no  dead  after  all.  If  I'm  no 
mistaken  yon  distressful  glug-glug  is  to 
worry  me  still  in  kirk  for  many  a  long 
day.  Forbye  the  joke  of  it,"  says  Mac- 
Gregor, "going  in  to  save  a  child  that 
wasnae  there  at  all,  it  would  have  been  a 
very  noble  death  for  Mistress  Mackie ; 
they  could  easy  have  replaced  her  at  the 
post-office.  I  think  in  the  situation  she 
might  with  decency,  very  well  have  passed 
away." 

But  the  greatest  of  all  disappointments 
connected  with  the  fire  passed  over  the  vil- 
lage about  a  week  afterwards,  after  Farmer 
Grierson  and  his  affairs  and  the  ruin  that 
had  fallen  upon  him  had  been  the  subject 
of  conversation  and  sympathy  for  days. 

Saunders  came  stumbling  into  the  kirk- 
yard,  looking  very  pale,  on  Sabbath,  before 
kirk,  and  said  to  MacGregor  who,  as  usual, 
was  by  the  plate  : 

"  Man,  what  do  you  think  ?    The  farmer 


74  The  Elder  MacGregor 

is  never  ruined  after  all.  It  seems  his 
daughter  Effie  induced  the  man  to  insure 
the  place  with  some  company  in  the  South 
her  husband's  connected  with.  The  fire 
will  make  no  difference  to  him  at  all." 

"You're  no  saying  that"  gasped  the 
astonished  MacGregor.  "  I  wonder  what 
a  fire's  for  in  these  circumstances — comes 
and  goes  and  leaves  a  man  just  where  he 
was  before.  It's  no  just  or  right.  It's 
disappointing,  very.  All  the  trouble  for 
nothing !  This  beats  Mistress  Mackie's 
living  through  her  adventure.  I'm  for  the 
law  of  natural  change  in  folks'  circum- 
stances myself,  and  a  death  and  done  with 
it  when  it  threatens.  The  farmer  and 
Mistress  Mackie  have  come  well  out  of  it 
after  all,  but  I'm  thinking  the  general  im- 
pression of  the  parish  will  be  that  we're 
none  of  the  rest  of  us  over  well  pleased." 


Ayjf'HI 


"'You're  no  saying  that,'  gasped  MacGregor." 

—  Page  74 


The  Elder   Mac  Gr ego 


CHAPTEK  VI 

JIMMY   OF   THE   HILLS 

In  many  a  Scottish  village  you  will  find 
a  poor  half-witted  creature  who  is  allowed 
to  go  about  free  amongst  the  folk  and  of 
whom  even  the  children  are  not  afraid. 
He  may  be  called  "  daft  Willy,"  or  some 
such  name  and  you  may  know  him  in  a 
moment  if  you  meet  him,  for  he  will  walk 
about  the  road  strangely,  or  call  out  in  a 
foolish  fashion  to  the  children  who  are 
often  after  him,  or  there  will  be  some 
other  token  by  which  there  is  no  mistaking 
him. 

Sometimes  you  will  see  him  working  in 
the  fields  at  harvest  time,  doing  as  much 
perhaps,  as  any  other,  but  his  work  is  never 
esteemed  like  other  men's,  let  him  toil  at  it 
as  he  may. 

At  other  times  you  may  happen  upon 
him  breaking  stones  by  the  road  or  carry- 
ing the  postman's  bag  for  him,  if  it  is 
heavy,  or  running  an  errand  for  the  min- 
75 


76  The  Elder  MacGregor 

ister ;  always  working  at  odd  sort  of  jobs 
and  ever  willing  to  be  at  the  beck  and  call 
of  any  one  who  wants  him  ;  but  queer  in 
his  ways  over  the  whole  of  it,  with  a 
"slate  loose,"  as  folks  have  it,  and  three 
parts  daft  all  the  time. 

I  used  to  wonder  if  Jimmy  of  the  Hills, 
who  was  the  daft  fellow  of  yonder  village, 
whether  Jimmy  with  all  his  lack  of  wits 
was  not  a  happier  man  than  many  another, 
for  he  was  always  smiling  or  laughing  over 
something  and  chuckling  to  himself  over 
jokes  or  jests  which  no  one  could  get  out 
of  him.  He  had  a  twist  in  his  neck,  poor 
chap,  which  set  his  face  over  his  left 
shoulder,  so  to  speak,  and  his  limbs  hung 
loosely  and  seemed  to  be  long  for  his  body, 
but  the  lad's  features  were  not  unpleasant 
to  look  upon,  rather  the  contrary,  since  he 
was  always  merry. 

It  was  from  the  eyes  chiefly  you  could 
tell  that  there  was  something  wanting, 
that  the  lad's  laughter  had  perhaps  no 
true  cause  for  its  existence,  and  that 
Jimmy  of  the  Hills  was  one  of  those  folk 
to  pity  and  to  pity  only.  Never  to  be 
blamed  or  struck  at  for  any  misdeeds  of 


Jimmy  of  the  Hills  77 

his,  let  Jimmy  of  the  Hills  do  what  he 
may. 

Jimmy  of  the  Hills  lived  with  an  old 
laborer  who  was  in  some  way  distantly 
related  to  the  lad.  Jimmy's  parents  were 
long  dead,  and  how  the  term  "  of  the 
hills  "  first  fixed  itself  upon  him  no  one 
in  the  village  quite  remembers,  though 
they  say  that  often  in  the  summer  time 
from  his  early  youth  upwards,  Jimmy 
would  wander  away  some  evening  to  dis- 
appear for  days,  and  that  you  might 
chance  upon  him  at  such  seasons  wander- 
ing about  in  solitude,  hour  by  hour,  crying 
out,  "  Cooee !  cooee  !  cooee  ! "  to  the  stray 
sea-gulls  and  plovers  that  flew  over  the 
heather  away  up  on  the  moors  yonder,  a 
mile  or  so  away. 

Probably,  this  was  how  he  got  the 
name. 

Shortly  after  the  illness  of  the  village 
postmistress,  Mistress  Mackie,  when  folks' 
letters  had  got  straight  again  and  when 
she  had  found  time,  as  she  put  it,  "  to  turn 
about,"  Mistress  Mackie  took  a  wonderful 
fancy  for  possessing  a  feather  bed,  and  it 
got  about  the  district  that  if  you  had  any 


78  The  Elder  MacGregor 

feathers  to  spare  through  killing  a  hen 
or  otherwise,  that  Mistress  Mackie  wanted 
them. 

Maybe,  she  had  found  her  couch  irk- 
some to  lie  upon  during  her  illness,  for 
nothing  but  a  feather  bed  would  now 
serve  Mistress  Mackie. 

From  motives  of  economy  she  decided 
to  collect  the  feathers  herself,  and  when 
she  had  sufficient  of  them  her  idea  was  to 
send  them  to  Glasgow  or  somewhere  to 
have  them  properly  and  inexpensively 
turned  into  a  feather  bed. 

Jimmy  of  the  Hills  proved  most  useful 
to  Mistress  Mackie  at  this  period. 

Smiling  and  chuckling  to  himself  all  the 
time  as  if  there  was  a  huge  joke  in  the 
affair,  where  there  was  none  at  all,  he 
would  go  hunting  all  over  the  place  for 
feathers  for  Mistress  Mackie.  I  have  heard 
that  he  was  even  caught  plucking  the  tail 
out  of  a  live  fowl  up  at  Farmer  Grierson's, 
so  great  was  Jimmy's  ardor. 

"When  he  procured  any  feathers,  whether 
through  gift  or  theft,  Jimmy  would  come 
proudly  into  the  post-office  and  the  post- 
mistress would  put  the  feathers  in  an  empty 


Jimmy  of  the  Hills  79 

barrel  which  she  kept  for  the  purpose,  and 
sometimes  rewarded  him  with  a  sweetie  or 
two  for  his  trouble. 

Being  thus  refreshed  Jimmy  would  set 
out  again. 

As  time  went  by  it  began  to  be  said  that 
there  were  a  great  many  more  feathers 
than  letters  in  the  post-office,  and  that  the 
fluff  of  them  about  the  shop  must  be  as 
disagreeable  to  Mistress  Mackie  as  it  was 
to  her  customers.  But  though  the  truth 
of  this  was  very  obvious,  Mistress  Mackie, 
assisted  by  Jimmy  of  the  Hills,  continued 
filling  boxes  and  barrels  in  as  busy  a  fashion 
as  the  hens  about  the  district  would  allow. 

It  is  questionable  if  Jimmy  of  the  Hills 
ever  had  a  more  suitable  employment.  It 
kept  him  very  busy  and  the  labor  was  light 
and  he  liked  it. 

Presently  Mistress  Mackie  was  obliged 
to  borrow  boxes  and  barrels  from  various 
folk,  and  there  was  barely  standing-room 
in  the  small  shop  because  of  them.  You 
could  hardly  get  near  Mistress  Mackie  to 
buy  a  stamp  from  her.  The  post-office  was 
blocked  with  feathers  and  still  Jimmy  of 
the  Hills  went  ahead  very  busily. 


80  The  Elder  MacGregor 

At  this  juncture  MacGregor,  the  kirk 
elder,  thought  well  to  step  into  the  post- 
office  to  remonstrate  with  Mistress  Mackie, 
who,  he  said,  "  appeared  to  be  exceeding 
all  reason  and  sense  over  yon  bed  of  hers." 

He  met  Jimmy  at  Mistress  Mackie's 
door. 

"  Man,  Jimmy,"  he  said,  "  can  you  no 
leave  the  hens  alone  and  spare  the  post- 
office  ?  "We'll  all  admit  you've  done  your 
duty ;  nobly  done  your  duty ;  Mistress 
Mackie  will  be  the  first  to  say  so,  but  a 
post-office  is  a  post-office  and  no  a  place 
for  accumulating  feathers.  If  I  were  you 
Jimmy  man,  I'd  leave  the  hens  alone." 

Jimmy,  however,  merely  smiled  and 
clucked  with  his  tongue  in  his  cheek  as  he 
passed  the  elder  by. 

So  MacGregor  went  in  to  Mistress 
Mackie,  getting  over  the  threshold,  that 
is  to  say,  and  standing  there  amongst  the 
boxes. 

"  Mistress  Mackie,"  said  he,  "  this  is 
becoming  a  scandal  in  the  place.  I  can 
see  you  beyond  the  counter  but  I  canna 
get  near  you.  Are  you  in  your  senses, 
woman,    collecting    all    these    feathers  ? 


Jimmy  of  the  Hills  8l 

You  hae  a  mighty  fine  variety.  This  will 
be  a  great  bed  you're  making ;  one  for  the 
whole  parish  to  lie  on,  I'm  thinking,  by 
the  time  you've  done.  I  presume  you've 
considered  the  question  of  how  you're  to 
get  the  feathers  up  to  Glasgow.  That'll 
be  a  difficulty.  Jimmy  of  the  Hills  will 
no  be  able  to  help  you.  Are  you  in 
correspondence  with  any  one  to  make  the 
bed  for  you  ?  I  presume  you  get  your 
own  letters  correctly,  though  what  with 
your  illness  first  and  the  feathers  after, 
other  folks'  correspondence  is  sadly  inter- 
fered with ! " 

Before  Mistress  Mackie  could  answer 
him,  Jimmy  who  had  had  a  lucky  and 
very  unexpected  find  not  far  away  in  the 
village,  came  in  with  a  fresh  supply  of 
feathers  in  a  basket. 

"  Gosh  !  "  said  MacGregor,  "  here's  more 
of  them.  Man,"  he  added  to  Jimmy,  "  man, 
you're  energetic.  There's  no  room  for 
two  of  us  here  in — I'll  hae  to  leave  you. 
Mistress  Mackie,"  he  called,  "  if  thae  feath- 
ers are  no  out  of  the  post-office  before 
next  Sabbath  I'll  get  the  minister  to  say  a 
word  to  you.     We  canna  have  the  whole 


82  The  Elder  MacGregor 

parish  upset  and  the  post-office  blocked  be- 
cause of  your  desire  for  a  feather  bed.  I'll 
admit  the  desire's  reasonable  but,  gosh, 
woman,  this  will  never  do  at  all." 

Then  MacGregor  went  home. 

When  Sabbath  came,  the  elder,  whose 
pew  as  you  know  was  shared  by  Mistress 
Mackie,  asked  her  in  the  middle  of  the 
singing  of  the  paraphrase  if  the  feathers 
had  gone  to  Glasgow  or  if  the  conjested 
condition  of  the  post-office  still  continued. 

"  For,"  said  he  in  a  whisper,  "  I  havnae 
just  spoken  to  the  minister  yet — but  I  in- 
tend to." 

Mistress  Mackie  assured  him  that  the 
feathers  were  leaving  on  the  following 
day,  and  sure  enough  on  the  Monday 
morning  there  was  Jimmy  emptying  one 
box  and  crushing  the  contents  into  another 
and  the  rest  of  it — very  busy  for  an  hour 
or  two  "packing"  for  Mistress  Mackie, 
and  when  evening  fell  some  one  or  other 
stepped  into  MacGregor's  cottage  with  the 
news  that  Mistress  Mackie's  feathers  had 
gone. 

"  Man ! "  said  MacGregor,  when  he 
heard  it,  "  that's  my  doing.     She's  listened 


Jimmy  of  the  Hills  83 

to  my  remonstrance.  I  hope  that's  the 
end  of  the  feathers.  I  spoke  to  her  in 
kirk  yesterday,  during  the  paraphrase, 
very  severe.  It  will  be  a  treat  to  be  able 
to  get  near  the  counter  in  the  post-office 
again.  I'll  make  a  point  of  buying  a 
stamp  or  two  in  the  morn  just  to  show 
Mistress  Mackie  yon  feathers  were  keeping 
some  of  her  best  customers  away." 

About  three  weeks  later  there  was  great 
excitement  in  the  village. 

Mistress  Mackie's  bed  had  arrived  at  the 
railway  station  at  some  distance  off,  and 
was  expected  that  evening,  for  she  had  sent 
old  Leckie,  with  one  of  Grierson's  carts, 
which  she  had  borrowed,  to  fetch  it. 

Jimmy  of  the  Hills  had  been  allowed  to 
accompany  the  cart,  though  Leckie  would 
just  as  soon  have  gone  alone. 

All  afternoon  the  neighbors  kept  pop- 
ping in  at  the  post-office  to  ask :  "  Has  the 
bed  arrived  yet,  Mistress  Mackie  ?  "  and 
even  MacGregor,  though  he  pretended  to 
look  down  upon  the  whole  business,  was 
seen  to  pass  the  post-office  more  than  once 
that  afternoon. 

Mistress  Mackie  it  seems,  had  received 


84  The  Elder  MacGregor 

an  account  for  the  bed  and  paid  for  it 
before  it  was  despatched  from  Glasgow, 
and  the  price  being  very  extravagant 
(especially  after  all  her  trouble  in  furnish- 
ing the  feathers)  local  excitement  ran 
high  as  to  what  the  bed  would  be  like 
when  it  came. 

However,  evening  fell,  and  no  signs  yet 
of  the  cart  coming  over  the  hill,  and  folks 
got  saying  amongst  themselves  that  bar- 
ring accidents,  Leckie  and  Jimmy  of  the 
Hills  should  have  been  back  by  this  time. 
And  it  was  noticed  that  Mistress  Mackie's 
chronic  cough  was  troubling  her  a  very 
great  deal,  as  it  always  did  when  she  was 
nervous. 

Darkness  fell,  and  the  moon  rose  in  the 
summer  sky,  and  all  the  birds  went  to 
rest,  but  still  never  a  sign  of  the  bed. 

By  this  time  Mistress  Mackie  was  very 
anxious  and  the  neighbors  would  com- 
fort her  by  saying  that  maybe  the  bed 
had  been  delayed  on  the  railway  or  the 
cart  broken  down,  and  various  other  sug- 
gestions. 

So  disturbed  was  the  postmistress  that 
she  refused  to  retire  to  rest,  and  the  end 


Jimmy  of  the  Hills  85 

of  it  was  that  two  of  the  neighbors  sat 
up  the  night  with  her,  gossiping  and  pass- 
ing the  time  as  best  they  could  and  waiting 
for  the  bed. 

In  the  middle  of  the  night,  whilst  the 
three  of  them  were  occupied  in  this  fashion, 
a  sudden  thump  came  at  the  door  of  the 
post-office,  and  they  all  hurried  out  think- 
ing to  see  the  cart  there,  but  only  to  be 
confronted  by  old  Leckie  who  had  a  very 
disappointing  tale  to  tell. 

At  first  Mistress  Mackie  could  make 
neither  heads  nor  tails  of  it,  and  the  story 
had  to  be  repeated  three  times  before  she 
caught  the  drift  of  it. 

"We  had  the  bed  on  the  cart,"  said 
old  Leckie,  "a  fine,  handsome,  feathery, 
soft-looking  bed,  just  the  very  thing  Mis- 
tress Mackie  was  wanting  it  to  be;  an 
expensive  genteel  bed  just  come  by  the 
railway.  Weel,  thinks  I,  when  we  lifted 
it  up  and  settled  it  in  the  cart,  it  will 
harm  no  one  if  I  just  step  into  the  Railway 
Inn  and  hae  a  drap  before  starting.  So 
I  did  that,  leaving  Jimmy  of  the  Hills  in 
charge  of  the  cart.  There  was  a  man  in 
the  Railway  Inn  got  chatting,  and  I  had  a 


86  The  Elder  MacGregor 

wee  drap  with  him  after  the  first  one,  and 
wasnae  above  quarter  of  an  hour  in  the 
place  altogether — but,  bless  me,  the  cart 
and  Jimmy  had  started.  It  was  a  poor 
trick  and  a  long  walk  for  an  old  man.  I 
presume  the  bed's  here  meantime.  He'll 
have  brought  it  safely  ?  " 

When  the  truth  dawned  upon  Mistress 
Mackie  at  last,  they  say  that  she  was 
something  terrible  to  behold,  fairly  scream- 
ing at  old  Leckie. 

"  Where's  my  bed  ?  the  feather  bed  I 
bought  and  paid  for  ?  "  and  so  on. 

As  for  Leckie,  he  took  it  very  stolidly. 

"  Is  anything  the  matter  with  Mistress 
Mackie  ?    Has  Jimmy  no  arrived  ?  " 

And  when  they  assured  him  that  Jimmy 
had  not  returned,  he  scratched  his  head 
and  asked  them  slowly,  "  Then  where  the 
deevil  is  the  bed  ?  " 

MacGregor  has  told  me  that  the  whole 
village  was  awakened  in  less  time  than  it 
takes  to  tell : — 

"Man,  it  was  a  sensation.  But  Mistress 
Mackie  was  awful  distressed.  She  said  she 
kenned  now  the  meaning  of  the  kind  of 
cloud  over  her  all  day,  and  asseverated 


Jimmy  of  the  Hills  87 

that  it  was  very  bitter  if  she  had  been  all 
this  time  gathering  up  feathers  and  paying 
for  a  bed  which  would  have  been  a  credit 
to  the  post-office,  only  for  Jimmy  of  the 
Hills  to  lie  on !  And  when  she  said  that 
it  flashed  over  me  that  maybe  this  was 
why  Jimmy  was  so  keen  over  the  feath- 
ers !  He  had  a  fancy  to  lie  soft  himself 
all  the  time.  I  told  Mistress  Mackie  I 
thought  there  was  a  good  joke  in  it  look- 
ing at  it  from  that  point  of  view.  But  she 
has  very  little  humor.  She  couldnae  see  it. 
I  put  it  to  her  this  way :  '  You  made  the 
bed  for  Jimmy,  Mistress  Mackie — can  you 
no  see  that?'  But  she  couldnae.  How- 
ever, when  the  daylight  came  Ave  all  went 
out  to  search  for  Jimmy,  expecting  to  find 
him  lying  in  the  cart  with  the  bed  under 
him  somewhere.  But  we  came  across  the 
cart  and  horse  on  the  moor,  but  no  Jimmy. 
And  the  cart  was  empty. 

"When  we  came  back  to  the  village, 
however,  who  should  meet  us  but  Jimmy 
himself.  So  we  took  him  to  the  post-office 
to  question  him,  and,  says  he,  when  we  got 
there,  '  Dinna  be  angry,  Mistress  Mackie ; 
I  collected  the  feathers  and  I  wanted  the 


88  The  Elder  MacGregor 

first  lie.  But  I  didnae  sleep  on  it  very- 
long.  I  had  it  on  the  heather  and  was 
very  comfortable,  but  a  gipsy  man  with 
two  gipsy  women  came  by  before  I  was 
sound  and  wakes  me  up,  and  says :  "  That's 
just  the  very  kind  of  thing  we're  wanting." 
So  I  gied  them  the  bed  and  came  home.' 

"  When  Jimmy  said  that,"  added  Mac- 
Gregor, "  you  could  have  knocked  Mistress 
Mackie  down  with  a  feather.  She  hadnae 
the  heart  to  despatch  any  one  after  the 
gipsies  for  hours,  and  when  she  did  it  was 
too  late. 

"  Whether  Jimmy  of  the  Hills  had  told 
the  truth  or  not  the  bed  was  spirited  away 
for  good.  I  remember  saying  to  her  as  she 
passed  by  the  plate  the  following  Sabbath, 
1 1  hope  that's  the  end  of  feathers,  Mistress 
Mackie.  You're  no  the  kind  destined  for 
such  luxury.  It's  been  a  good  lesson  to  us 
all.  Feathers  will  fly,'  says  I,  •  whether  on 
the  bird  or  in  the  bed.  But  they're  no  a 
thing  for  a  post-office  at  all.' 

"Man,  she  just  stared  at  me  and  passed 
on.  No  a  very  pleasant  way  of  treating  a 
man,  but  that  was  her  conduct — just  stared 
and  passed  on  ! " 


CHAPTER  VII 

MACGREGOR  AND  THE  WHITE  COW 

There  Avas  a  curious  superstition  which 
had  its  day  amongst  the  folk  in  the  village. 
It  has  died  away  many  a  year  ago,  and 
whilst  it  existed  was  of  a  character  purely 
local. 

Amongst  the  cattle  up  at  Grierson's  farm 
there  used  to  be  one  animal  marked  out 
from  all  the  others  through  having  a  very 
bad  temper  at  milking  time ;  this  was 
Grierson's  white  cow. 

Many  a  story  has  been  related  of  its  bad 
behavior,  how  it  would  lash  out  with  its 
hind  feet  at  the  barest  touch  upon  the 
udder,  and  how  there  would  be  a  strange 
almost  uncanny  light  in  its  eyes  alike  in 
the  byre  and  in  the  field.  Many  a  lass  has 
been  damaged  by  the  hind  foot  of  Grier- 
son's white  cow. 

But  the  strangest  thing  of  all  lay  in  the 
cow's  disappearance,  for  one  morning,  com- 
ing to  the  byre  where  the  cattle  had  been 


90  The  Elder  MacGregor 

left  over  night,  the  farmer  found  the  white 
cow's  stall  empty  although  no  other  beast 
among  them  all  had  been  taken. 

Nor  was  the  white  cow  ever  seen  again, 
but  its  shape  or  form  or  spirit,  so  folk  had 
it,  would  ever  and  anon  haunt  the  glen, 
and  whenever  the  cow  was  thus  encoun- 
tered in  the  spirit,  so  surely  the  very  next 
day  after  it  a  child  would  be  born  in  the 
parish  or  a  man  or  woman  would  die. 

Some  said  that  it  was  the  gipsies  who 
had  taken  the  beast  from  the  byre  by  night, 
but  others  again  objected  that  at  that  sea- 
son the  gipsies  were  not  in  the  district  at 
all.  But,  however  the  cow  was  stolen  or 
however  it  escaped,  sure  enough  it  was  lost 
to  the  farmer  for  good,  never  to  be  heard 
of  save  in  the  spirit  shape,  from  that  day. 

How  the  superstition  connected  with  its 
subsequent  appearances  in  the  glen  first 
arose  was  also  a  question.  It  was  enough 
for  the  village,  so  it  seems,  that  the  ghost 
of  the  white  cow  was  never  seen  by  mortal 
eye  without  the  immediate  consequences 
spoken  of ;  namely,  that  some  one  must  die 
upon  the  succeeding  day  or  some  child 
must  be  born. 


The  White  Cow  91 

And  it  used  to  cause  many  an  anxious 
gathering  amongst  the  cottagers  if  one  of 
them  should  have  happened  to  step  down 
from  the  direction  of  the  glen  with  word 
that  some  one  or  other  had  just  seen  the 
white  cow  ;  and  speculation  would  be  rife 
as  to  whose  child  was  about  to  come  into 
the  world  or  who  amongst  them  was  most 
like  to  die. 

"  MacGregor,  the  elder  at  the  kirk,  had 
a  nasty  cough  about  him  last  Sabbath," 
they  would  say,  "maybe  the  cow  has 
marked  him  for  a  better  land,"  or,  "  I  hear 
that  old  Stevenson  was  laid  by  the  heels 
with  a  touch  of  fever  two  nights  ago ; 
maybe  the  cow  is  meaning  his  day's 
come,"  or,  "  I've  no  been  feeling  very 
weel  myself  lately.  Are  you  positive  sure 
the  cow  was  seen  ?  What  was  it  doing  ? 
Would  it  be  flitting  like  a  bird  or  just 
standing  looking  ?  You've  made  me  very 
uncomfortable  with  this  illness  about 
me." 

Or,  maybe,  some  one  would  favor  the 
birth  question  and  they  would  go  at  that 
for  a  time. 

On  one  occasion  the  cow  puzzled  every- 


g2  The  Elder  MacGregor 

body,  having  been  seen  at  night  by 
Saunders,  the  shoemaker,  and  never  a 
birth  nor  a  death  amongst  the  parish  dur- 
ing the  stipulated  time. 

Folks  took  Saunders  to  task  with  much 
severity,  saying  that  he  must  have  been 
mistaken  as  to  meeting  the  white  cow  in 
the  glen,  for  this,  they  said,  could  not  hap- 
pen with  no  result  after  it.  It  never  oc- 
curred to  them  to  doubt  the  cow  itself.  It 
was  the  word  or  the  vision  of  Saunders 
which  was  at  stake.  The  cow  had  never 
made  a  failure. 

The  shoemaker,  however,  stuck  to  his 
point  and  swore  to  his  cow. 

"  Man,  Saunders,"  said  MacGregor,  "  I 
wouldnae  just  swear  so  definite.  Leave 
the  cow  and  yourself  just  a  loophole  for 
escape  from  a  difficult  position.  Folks 
would  like  to  believe  you  that  you  saw  the 
beast,  but  there's  neither  birth  nor  death 
following.  You've  no  proof.  You  simply 
canna  definitely  asseverate  in  face  of 
events  that  you  saw  the  cow." 

"  I'll  swear  it,"  says  Saunders.  "  As  sure 
as  I'm  standing  here  and  you  listening,  I 
saw  the  cow  in  the  glen  just  as  white  as 


The  White  Cow  93 

ever    and    its    eyes    the    same Ay, 

I'll  swear." 

"  Man,"  says  MacGregor,  "  in  the  face  of 
events  I'm  awful  sorry  for  your  soul.  For 
the  sake  of  a  cow,  more  or  less,  it's  a  pity 
to  think  that  I'll  go  to  one  place  when  I 
die  and  you  to  another." 

"  Gosh,"  says  Saunders,  "  I'll  risk  that — 
I  saw  the  cow." 

MacGregor  made  no  further  remon- 
strance but  he  confided  to  Andy,  the  pre- 
centor, that  he  felt  "awful  sorry  for 
Saunders.  If  the  man  had  died  himself 
to  prove  the  truth  of  it,  it  would  have 
been  better.  We  could  have  believed  him 
then  that  he'd  met  the  cow." 

There  was  quite  a  gloom  upon  the  vil- 
lage on  account  of  Saunders'  oath  for  two 
days  afterwards,  till  one  evening  Mac- 
Gregor came  into  the  post-office  with  a 
bright  face. 

"Mistress  Mackie,"  says  he,  "I  know 
no  better  way  of  spreading  a  thing  about 
than  telling  it  to  you.  You  can  just  men- 
tion to  a  few  folk  that  Saunders'  soul  is 
safe — 'he  did  see  the  cow — the  riddle's 
been  solved.     I've  been  up  to  Grierson's 


94  The  Elder  MacGregor 

and  he's  had  a  letter,  as  you  doubtless 
noticed,  from  Effie  Williamson,  his 
daughter.  It  appears  she  was  a  mother 
in  the  South  within  the  time  specified,  and 
belonging  to  the  parish  you  see  that  would 
be  the  meaning  of  Saunders'  vision.  That 
clears  Saunders'  soul.  It's  a  wonderful 
cow.  You  can  just  mention  that  mother 
and  child  are  doing  well,"  and  MacGregor 
stepped  onwards  up  the  village  with  the 
news. 

When  the  minister's  wife  had  her 
seventh  bairn  there  was  some  trouble 
when  folks  met  at  kirk  afterwards,  for 
it  had  now  become  as  much  a  necessity  for 
"  luck's  sake,"  so  to  speak,  that  the  cow 
should  be  seen  under  such  circumstances 
as  that  a  birth  or  a  death  should  follow 
the  vision. 

On  the  present  occasion  there  had  been 
no  report  whatever  of  any  one  meeting  the 
ghost  in  the  glen,  so  that  this  was  only  a 
trifle  less  disturbing  to  the  parish  than  the 
question  of  Effie  Williamson's  bairn  at  a 
previous  time. 

MacGregor  the  elder  waited  by  the 
plate  in  much   anxiety  that  Sabbath  as 


The  White  Cow  95 

folks  filed  into  kirk,  thinking,  it  is  to  be 
feared,  more  about  the  cow  in  the  glen 
than  of  the  number  of  pennies  in  the  plate 
by  him,  but  not  liking  to  ask  any  one 
definitely  if  they  had  seen  the  animal,  till 
kirk  was  done. 

The  birth  of  the  minister's  bairn  with- 
out the  luck  of  a  visit  from  the  cow  seemed 
but  an  ill  omen  for  the  kirk  and  the  parish  ; 
why,  no  one  could  quite  say,  but  they  all 
felt  it  to  be  so. 

So  greatly  had  the  cow  taken  possession 
of  the  district  that  even  the  minister 
(with  his  Glasgow  education  at  the  Uni- 
versity to  look  back  upon  through  a  mist 
of  years)  was  himself,  in  a  small  degree,  a 
victim  to  the  universal  superstition.  So 
much  so  that  he  could  be  noticed  now  and 
then  during  the  sermon  casting  an  anxious 
look,  with  a  kind  of  query  in  it,  towards 
MacGregor's  pew,  as  much  as  to  say, 
"  Have  you  any  word  of  it  ?  Has  any 
one  seen  the  cow  in  the  glen  or  is  my 
bairn  to  be  an  exception,  and  maybe  un- 
lucky over  it?"  That  at  least  was  how 
MacGregor  took  it,  and  he  confided  to 
lame    Andy,    the    precentor,   afterwards, 


96  The  Elder  MacGregor 

"  Man,  I  couldnae  in  justice  raise  my  eyes 
to  the  minister's  for  fear  of  unduly  en- 
couraging him.  It  was  an  awkward  posi- 
tion— very." 

After  kirk  was  over  the  elder  tackled 
every  one  of  them  as  they  went  into  the 
graveyard,  asking  them,  one  after  the 
other,  "Have  you  seen  the  cow?  It 
would  be  lucky  for  the  minister,"  and 
meeting  with  sad  looks  or  a  shake  of  the 
head,  or  a  brief  "  no,"  till  he  came  to 
Saunders,  the  shoemaker. 

That  worthy  passed  by  MacGregor  and 
his  query  at  the  same  time,  as  though  he 
noticed  neither  the  one  nor  the  other,  and 
would  have  set  out  homeward  in  what 
MacGregor  has  since  termed,  "a  very 
suspicious  fashion,"  but  that  the  elder  had 
a  sudden  quick  thought  of  it  and  laid  his 
hand  on  Saunders'  arm. 

"  Saunders,"  said  he,  very  severely, 
"  Saunders,  there's  something  strange 
about  your  manner  and  I  notice  you've 
failed  to  answer  me.  I  hope  you  wish  no 
ill  to  the  minister's  bairn.  We've  all  the 
feeling  that  the  cow  should  have  been 
seen  in  the  glen." 


The  White  Cow  97 

"I've  that  feeling  myself,"  said  Saun- 
ders, "  but  I'm  no  always  believed  when  I 
see  it." 

"  Saunders,"  pursued  MacGregor, 
"you're  keeping  something  back — you've 
been  up  the  glen  lately." 

"  I  have,"  said  Saunders,  "  and  within 
the  time  you're  thinking,  but  my  vision's 
very  defective  lately." 

Then  MacGregor  took  another  tone. 

"  Man,  for  the  minister's  sake,"  he  im- 
plored, "  if  you  can  lift  the  cloud  over  his 
elder  and  other  folk,  and  in  particular, 
take  away  the  bad  luck  of  ushering  a  child 
into  the  world  without  it.  I  hae  an  old 
pair  of  boots  to  mend,  Saunders,  if  you'll 
undertake  it ;  just  heels  and  soles ;  the 
uppers  are  quite  good.  Now,  Saunders, 
have  you  seen  it  ?  " 

"I've  noticed  your  boots  for  many  a 
day,"  said  Saunders,  "  the  uppers  want  ren- 
ovating. A  patch  here  and  there  would 
do  no  harm,  forbye  the  heels  and  soles." 

"  Well !  well !  Man,  just  patch  them 
too.     What  am  I  to  tell  the  minister  ?  " 

"I'll  do  the  boots  first  and  hae  my 
money  before  I  answer  you,"  replied  the 


98  The  Elder  MacGregor 

shoemaker,  and  not  another  word  would 
he  say. 

MacGregor  sent  him  the  boots  very 
early  on  Monday  morning,  for  in  his  own 
mind  he  was  almost  certain  that  Saunders 
could  relieve  his  anxiety  by  a  simple  state- 
ment, but  Saunders  had  his  revenge  for 
the  disbelief  of  a  previous  occasion,  by 
working  at  the  boots  very  slowly,  although 
MacGregor  called  in  to  ask  about  them 
several  times  a  day. 

It  was  the  following  Friday  before  the 
boots  were  delivered  by  Saunders  in  per- 
son, and  paid  for  by  the  elder. 

"Now,  Saunders,"  said  MacGregor, 
"you'll  tell  me — have  you  news  for  the 
minister  ?  " 

"Man,  you  might  have  guessed  it 
surely,"  was  the  reply,  "everybody  else 
in  the  parish  denied  the  beast  but  one  man 
and  that  man  was  me." 

Quarter  of  an  hour  afterwards  Mac- 
Gregor was  footing  it  up  to  the  manse. 

"Minister,"  says  he,  with  a  glad  face, 
when  the  door  opened,  "  I'm  glad  to 
bring  the  news  to  you.  The  bairn's  all 
right  for  luck.     Some  one  saw  the  cow  !  " 


The  White  Cow  99 

So  deeply  rooted  did  the  superstition 
finally  grow  that  the  white  cow  became 
a  very  great  nuisance,  as  the  deciding 
element  so  to  put  it  of  every  one's  destiny, 
and  where  matters  might  have  ended  it  is 
difficult  to  say  had  it  not  been  for  the  very 
fortunate  departure  of  the  animal  from  the 
glen. 

For  a  very  long  time  past  it  had  been 
noticed  that  Saunders  was  the  only  person 
in  the  neighborhood  who  ever  saw  the 
cow,  and  his  boot  trade  seemed  more  or 
less  to  depend  upon  its  appearances,  for 
the  village  folk  would  employ  him  when- 
ever he  met  the  apparition  at  suitable 
moments,  in  order  to  get  the  news  from 
him. 

Lame  Andy  has  told  me  that  he  would 
not  quite  like  to  say  that  Saunders  traded 
on  the  cow  but  that  it  seemed  very  like  it, 
and  when  one  fine  day  Saunders  left  the 
village  to  set  up  a  shop  in  Glasgow,  and 
when  the  cow  seemed  to  have  gone  along 
with  him  and  left  the  glen  entirely,  so  that 
folks  were  born  and  died  and  never  a 
sight  of  it  and  no  worse  luck  to  the  bairns 
because  of  it,  it  gradually  got  about  the 


ioo         The  Elder  MacGregor 

place  that  it  was  Saunders  who  had  first 
invented  the  ghost  of  the  cow  in  the  glen, 
and  then  some  folks  found  out  that  it  was 
always  Saunders  who  had  seen  it  from  the 
very  first  and  that  no  one  else  had  actually 
encountered  it  hut  Saunders. 

When  it  carne  to  that,  the  cow  died  alto- 
gether and  was  never  mentioned  by  a  soul, 
not  even  by  MacGregor  who  had  once  such 
a  faith  in  it. 

When  any  one  mentions  the  matter  to 
the  elder  now,  he  will  take  off  his  hat  and 
scratch  his  head  somewhat  doubtfully. 

"  Man,"  he  will  say,  "  there  was  a  super- 
stition over  that  which  terminated  when 
Saunders  went  to  Glasgow.  He's  doing 
far  better,  I  hear,  than  the  man  deserves. 
But  there's  one  thing  certain  there  was  a 
cow,  for  Farmer  Grierson  once  had  it  and 
it  disappeared.  I'd  let  the  matter  rest 
there  for  it's  a  very  disagreeable  subject. 
That's  all  I  hae  to  say  on  the  matter,  there 
was  a  cow  and  it  disappeared." 


CHAPTER  VIII 

ANGUS   MACRAE 

In  the  far-away  time,  when  some  of  us 
who  are  now  well  on  in  our  appointed 
years,  were  little  children,  there  lived  in 
the  village,  not  many  cottages  distant  from 
where  the  post-office  now  stands,  a  young 
couple  who,  at  the  end  of  their  first  year 
of  married  life,  were  said  to  be  more  de- 
voted to  one  another,  if  that  were  possible, 
than  when  they  had  stood  in  the  kirk,  side 
by  side  before  the  minister,  twelve  months 
gone  by. 

The  man  was  called  Angus  Macrae,  and 
the  name  of  his  lass  was  Jean  ;  but  despite 
their  affection  for  one  another,  which  folks 
say  it  was  beautiful  to  see,  she  had  borne 
him  no  child. 

As  they  were  poor,  maybe  this  was  just 
as  well. 

Angus  was  a  young  laborer,  and  Jean, 
the  daughter  of  another,  but  though  their 


102         The  Elder  MacGregor 

sphere  of  life  was  thus  somewhat  lowly, 
the  pair  of  them  were  happy  as  the  day 
was  long. 

Like  the  rest  of  the  village  they  were 
regular  kirk-goers,  and  you  would  hear  the 
gossipers  say  on  Sabbath,  as  the  young 
couple  passed  by,  how  a  most  wonderful 
change  had  come  upon  the  lassie  with  her 
marriage — for  she  had  ever  been  a  bit  wild 
in  her  ways,  until  Angus  Macrae  took  the 
wayward  laughing  lassie  in  his  arms  one 
summer  evening  in  the  glen  yonder  and 
spoke  serious  words  to  her  for  once  in  a 
way,  kissing  her  on  the  lips  and  claiming 
her  for  always  as  his  own. 

"  Marriage  has  settled  the  lassie  to  a 
wonderful  degree,"  or  "  Angus  kenned  well 
what  he  was  doing  when  he  married  her," 
or, "  Who'd  have  thought  the  bonnie  Jean, 
who  was  aye  so  lightsome  should  sober  in 
a  year?"  would  be  the  remarks  about 
them ;  but  there  were  one  or  two  of  the 
older  folk  who  would  shake  their  heads 
and  say,  "  It's  to  be  hoped  for  Angus'  sake 
she  didnae  change  too  soon.  From  child 
of  flighty  ways  to  woman  of  sober  ear- 
nestness all  in  a  year !     Her  with  her  bon- 


Angus  Macrae  103 

nie  face  the  while !  "We'll  hope,  for  Angus' 
sake,  the  future  may  hold  good  for  him  in 
store." 

They  all  seemed  sure  enough  about 
Angus;  the  life  question  for  the  young 
couple  lay,  it  seemed,  for  lasting  settle- 
ment upon  the  side  of  Jean. 

Towards  the  early  autumn,  when  Jean 
and  Angus  were  fairly  set  into  the  second 
year  of  married  life,  there  came  into  the 
village  one  heavy  afternoon,  when  the 
clouds  were  lying  low  over  the  heather  and 
the  air  was  full  and  close  with  an  approach- 
ing storm,  a  young  Englishman,  who  was 
in  Scotland  for  pleasure,  so  he  said,  walk- 
ing hither  and  thither  on  foot,  putting  up 
at  nights  wherever  he  could  find  a  bed, 
sketching  here  and  there  as  he  found  pleas- 
ing, and  so  idling  the  days  away. 

It  was  not  often  that  a  stranger  intruded 
amongst  those  simple  folk,  and  when  it  got 
about  that  night  that  "a  gentleman  artist 
was  lodging  for  the  night  at  Angus 
Macrae's,"  folks  shook  their  heads  and 
wondered  at  Angus  taking  a  lodger  with 
his  bonnie  wife  alone  in  the  cottage  most 
of  the  day. 


104         The  Elder  MacGregor 

However,  he  would  be  away  onwards 
down  the  valley,  doubtless,  like  the  sum- 
mer storm  which  was  passing  over  them 
that  evening,  before  many  hours  had  come 
and  gone. 

It  was  Jean  who  received  the  stranger 
when  he  stopped  at  the  cottage  (maybe  for 
another  look  at  a  lassie  who  was  pleasing) 
and  as  he  spoke  with  her,  asking  her  where 
he  could  find  a  lodging  for  the  night,  heavy 
drops  of  rain  began  to  fall,  so  that  she 
asked  him  indoors  from  simple  courtesy ; 
and  Angus,  happening  to  be  home  early 
from  his  work  fell  in  conversation  with  the 
stranger,  to  whom  he  took  an  immediate 
fancy. 

So  when  the  storm  passed  by,  the  Eng- 
lishman had  found  his  lodging  without 
much  seeking  for  it,  and  folks  proved 
wrong  in  thinking  to  see  him  leave  the 
village  in  the  morning,  for  the  day  went 
by  and  the  stranger  stayed  at  Macrae's 
another  night  and  then  another. 

Then,  it  was  said,  that  he  was  paying 
well,  and  was  staying  for  a  week,  and  the 
week  went  by  and  folks  got  used  to  seeing 
him  and  liked  his  cheery  ways,  calling  him 


Angus  Macrae  105 

"  Macrae's  lodger,"  and  envying  the  Mac- 
raes their  luck. 

In  these  days  the  Englishman  would 
spend  his  morning  sketching  up  the  glen, 
and  his  afternoons  would  be  given  to  long 
walks  over  the  moor  or  up  the  hills.  Kain 
or  shine,  he  was  but  little  in  the  cottage  in 
the  daytime,  but  would  chat  for  an  hour 
or  more  with  Angus  every  night. 

Long  afterwards,  however,  folks  said 
that  Jean  was  noticeably  very  silent  on 
these  evenings.  She  would  sit  by  her  hus- 
band sewing  or  knitting,  but  speaking  lit- 
tle, listening  to  them  as  they  talked.  And 
Angus  never  dreamed  of  the  evil  that  was 
finding  its  way  slowly  and  insidiously  into 
her  woman's  heart,  never  took  time  to 
think  that  this  frank  young  English  gentle- 
man, whose  presence  and  conversation 
pleased  him,  might  be  pleasing  also  to 
another,  and  that  other  his  young  wife. 

However,  one  day  something  or  other 
took  Angus  up  the  glen  by  a  chance,  and 
he  happened  upon  the  Englishman  at  his 
work,  and,  being  somewhat  curious  as  to 
the  artist's  painting,  Angus  drew  near  to 
him  unobserved,  thinking  to  look  over  his 


106         The  Elder  MacGregor 

shoulder  and  see  a  picture  of  the  glen  with 
the  water  of  the  little  stream  falling  over 
the  stones. 

But,  when  he  came  nearer  it  surprised 
him  somewhat  to  discover  that  the  paint- 
ing upon  which  the  artist  was  so  busy  was 
that  of  a  woman's  face  drawn  from  mem- 
ory ;  and  it  surprised  him  still  more  that 
this  face  should  be  the  face  of  Jean. 

He  stood  unnoticed  amongst  the  trees 
for  a  little,  puzzling  over  it,  hardly  aware 
that  every  touch  of  the  artist's  brush  was 
a  lingering  touch,  as  though  the  picture 
were  being  painted  with  the  man's  heart 
all  the  time  he  used  his  hands. 

Then  Angus  went  over  to  him,  making 
a  noise  to  indicate  his  presence,  and  was 
surprised  at  seeing  the  artist  start  at  it  and 
make  a  movement  as  though  he  would  at 
first  have  covered  the  canvas. 

"  Hullo ! "  was  the  young  fellow's  cheery 
greeting.  "Hullo,  Angus!  what  brings 
you  to  the  glen  ?  In  the  nick  of  time.  I've 
something  to  show  you.  You  were  not  to 
have  seen  this  till  it  was  done,  but  you've 
caught  me.  Do  you  like  it  ?  My  legacy 
to  you,  Angus,  when  I  leave  you." 


Angus  Macrae  107 

Angus  looked  at  the  picture  silently,  but 
said  never  a  word. 

The  silence  grew  uncomfortable,  so  the 
Englishman  spoke  again,  a  trifle  boister- 
ously this  time : 

"  You  are  a  nice  fellow,  Angus !  No 
approval,  nothing !  I  paint  you  your 
wife's  portrait  and " 

"  I'll  take  it  when  it's  done,"  interrupted 
Angus,  shortly,  but  there  was  a  nasty  knot 
as  of  trouble  or  deep  thought  on  the 
Scotchman's  brow. 

"Of  course  you  understand,"  said  the 
artist,  "  she  hasn't  seen  it  yet." 

"  Ay,  I  ken  that,"  was  the  reply.  "  I'll 
take  it  when  it's  done.  Meantime,  I'm 
going  up  the  glen,"  and  without  another 
word  Angus  moved  away. 

The  artist  would  have  spoken  further, 
but  for  once  in  a  way  the  fluency  of  his 
tongue  deserted  him.  He  knew  that  he 
loved  Jean,  he  knew  that  Angus  knew  it ; 
he  knew,  too,  that  for  some  reason  unex- 
plained to  him  (as  if  he  were  thrust  into  it 
by  destiny)  this  Scotch  lassie  had,  whether 
it  were  through  her  eyes  or  her  face  or  the 
very  crudeness   of  her  ways,  got  into  the 


io8         The  Elder  MacGregor 

heart  of  him  so  deep  that  if  it  cost  him  his 
life  be  could  not  leave  her ;  if  it  cost  him 
his  honor  and  his  hope  of  eternity  this 
man  knew  that  he  must  one  day  rob  poor 
Angus  of  his  one  ewe  lamb. 

He  understood  at  last  the  silent  majesty 
of  the  Scottish  mountains,  the  strength  of 
an  overpowering  passion  was  in  him  to 
teach  him  things  of  which  he  had  never 
dreamed.  Angus,  the  laborer,  could  never 
have  loved  woman  as  he  now  loved.  It 
had  crept  upon  him,  stolen  over  him  una- 
wares— a  love  for  a  poor  lassie  whose  face 
was  bright  and  more  to  him  than  all  the 
joys  of  the  world  put  together.  He  had 
cursed  the  day  that  first  brought  him  to  a 
sight  of  her,  for  the  end  he  knew  was  sin. 
Yet  he  had  never  spoken  to  Jean  one  single 
word  of  his  unholy  love. 

That  night  Angus  seemed  strange  and 
distant,  and  though  he  chatted  with  the 
Englishman  awhile,  he  would  keep  looking 
at  Jean  every  mow  and  then,  watching  her 
like  a  cat  after  a  mouse,  noticing  how  de- 
mure she  was  the  while,  how  quiet  and 
still. 

But  the  following  morning  Angus  stepped 


Angus  Macrae  109 

up  the  glen  to  where  the  Englishman  was 
busy  with  the  picture  and  the  knot  of 
trouble  was  heavier  upon  his  brow.  "See 
here,  sir,"  he  said,  "  we'll  have  the  picture 
as  it  stands.  You'll  leave  my  house  this 
day." 

At  that  the  Englishman  grew  very  pale 
and  looked  Angus  in  the  face.  After  a 
pause  he  answered : 

"Very  well,"  and  began  to  put  his 
brushes  away  whilst  Angus  moved  up  the 
glen. 

When  his  work  was  done  that  evening, 
Angus,  with  the  knot  heavier  than  ever 
upon  his  brow,  stepped  home.  Jean  met 
him  at  the  cottage  door  but  he  thought 
that  she  received  him  strangely.  She  took 
him  into  the  little  room  and  there  upon  the 
wall  hung  the  picture  of  herself,  and  Jean 
pointed  to  it  and  said : 

"  He  left  that  for  you,  he's  gone.'* 

Then  Angus  turned  and  took  his  lass 
firm  by  the  shoulders  and  looked  long  and 
searchingly  in  her  face  and  said : 

"  Has  he  said  anything,  Jean  ?  "  and  she 
answered, 

"  Nothing." 


no         The  Elder  MacGregor 

But  that  was  the  second  note  in  the 
tragedy  ;  Jean  was  told  by  that  question 
that  her  husband  knew. 

From  this  time  till  Jean  left  him,  Angus 
was  like  a  man  under  the  cloud  of  doom. 
There  are  some  things  beyond  the  stopping 
— ordered,  as  it  were,  to  happen,  and  do 
what  one  will  there  is  no  preventing  them. 
Angus  knew  this,  maybe,  and  one  night 
when  he  staggered  into  a  neighbor  's  cot- 
tage and  said:  "It's  come — she's  gone," 
there  was  no  need  to  question,  for  the 
whole  parish  had  in  some  strange  way  felt 
with  the  man  and  known  what  was  in  the 
very  air  about  them  from  the  hour  the 
Englishman  had  gone  away. 

Whether  he  had  remained  in  the  vicinity, 
met  Jean  by  stealth,  stolen  her  away  by 
slow  degrees,  or  whether  the  lass  went 
to  him  suddenly,  being  impelled  to  it  in  a 
way  folks  cannot  understand,  is  beyond 
saying.  Angus  was  alone  after  it,  how- 
ever it  had  happened,  for  many  a  long 
year. 

The  queer  thing  about  it  was  that  he 
kept  the  artist's  picture,  and  even  when 
age  settled  on  him  very  heavily,  he  would 


Angus  Macrae  ill 

point  to  it  with  a  somewhat  sad  pride  and 
say,  "  Yon  was  my  wife — yon  winsome 
lassie.  She  left  me  through  no  fault  of 
hers.  I  dinna  blame  her.  There  was 
another  you  see,  and  a  nobler.  Ay !  you 
say  he  destroyed  her.  Why  did  I  no  fol- 
low him  ?  I'll  tell  you  why.  It  would 
have  been  worse,  for  I'd  have  killed  him. 
Not  my  murder  you  see,  but  laid  at  her 
door.  What's  been  her  fate  since  then  I 
canna  say.  But  sometimes  late  at  night  a 
kind  o'  vision  comes  to  me  and  I  see  her 
rich  and  a  great  lady,  and  there's  a  cry  in 
her  heart  all  the  time,  '  Angus,  I'm  sorry,' 
and  it  seems  to  me  the  vision's  true. 
Then,  at  ten  at  night — I  canna  say  why  I 
choose  the  hour — but  just  at  ten  I  open  my 
door  every  night  and  wait  five  minutes  by 
the  clock,  expecting  her.  I  canna  say  just 
why.  It's  a  queer  thought  that,  but  that's 
what  I've  done  for  years.  Years  ? — man, 
it's  many  years ;  ever  since  she  went 
away." 

But  the  old  man  went  down  to  his 
grave  in  loneliness  after  all — with  the  door 
open  one  night  at  ten  o'clock  to  please  his 
fancy.     Maybe    Jean    entered    just   then, 


112         The  Elder  MacGregor 

though  no  one  saw  her — entered  with  the 
cry  in  her  heart,  "  Angus,  I'm  sorry,"  for 
when  they  found  him  still  and  cold  in  the 
early  morning  light,  there  was  a  smile 
upon  his  lips  as  of  a  great  gladness,  like 
unto  the  breaking  of  the  cloud  and  the 
dawn  of  a  new  day. 


CHAPTER  IX 

MACGREGOR  AND   THE   BUTTON 

Besides  selling  sweeties  at  the  post-of- 
fice, Mistress  Mackie  retailed  many  a  small 
article  in  the  ordinary  course  of  post-office 
traffic  ;  "  odds  and  ends,  nothing  very  ex- 
pensive," as  she  herself  put  it. 

One  could  get  a  pin  or  a  needle  or  a  bob- 
bin of  thread  from  her  at  any  moment. 

Mistress  Mackie  kept  some  cloth,  too, 
behind  the  counter,  which  folks  could 
match  as  near  as  may  be  to  the  garments 
they  were  wearing,  if  they  wanted  a  bit  to 
patch  up  a  hole  or  otherwise. 

With  the  two  or  three  varieties  which 
she  kept,  Mistress  Mackie  could  usually  get 
within  a  mile  of  the  kind  of  cloth  any  one 
required  for  patching. 

She  would  not  sell  a  black  cloth  if  the 
clothes  were  gray,  but  she  might  maybe, 
have  to  furnish  a  tawny  colored  or  a  }'el- 
low  patch  through  having  no  gray  in  the 
shop.  At  all  events  she  would  get  within 
"3 


114         The  Elder  MacGregor 

reasonable  distance  of  what  was  wanted, 
or  at  least  she  thought  so. 

She  only  laid  herself  out  for  week-day 
garments,  regarding  which  folks  need  not 
be  too  particular.  Sabbath  clothes  ought 
never  to  require  patches,  or  if  they  did  she 
was  not  one  to  sell  them.  The  kirk  must 
be  upheld,  and  patched  folks  on  Sabbath 
should  not  attend  the  kirk  but  go  elsewhere. 

But  she  would  sell  a  week-day  patch 
with  joy. 

Amongst  other  items  Mistress  Mackie 
was  particularly  strong  in  buttons.  She 
brought  them  by  as  much  as  quarter  of  a 
gross  of  each  kind  from  a  shop  she  corre- 
sponded with  in  Glasgow,  and  would  sell 
them  at  a  farthing  or  a  halfpenny  or  a 
penny  a-piece  when  folks  wanted  them ; 
but  they  were  very  small  and  useless  arti- 
cles at  a  farthing. 

One  day  Mistress  Mackie  surprised  the 
village  by  a  sudden  exhibition  of  a  number 
of  cards  of  a  new  button  in  the  post-office 
window. 

To  tell  the  truth  they  had  sent  her  too 
many  of  these  from  Glasgow,  but  she 
thought  she  would  try  to  work  up  a  fash- 


The  Button  115 

ion  in  them  and  get  rid  of  them  rather 
than  return  them.  There  was  nothing 
much  about  them,  for  they  appeared  to  be 
very  ordinary  trouser  buttons,  except  that 
they  were  of  a  silver  color,  silvered  back  and 
front  and,  looking  from  a  little  distance  at 
the  post-office  window,  one  could  almost 
have  fancied  it  to  be  filled  with  new  six- 
pences stuck  at  regular  intervals  upon 
pasteboard  cards. 

When  MacGregor,  the  kirk  elder,  first 
saw  these  buttons  he  happened  to  be  in  the 
company  of  Andy,  the  precentor,  and  the 
two  of  them  stopped  for  a  moment  to 
examine  Mistress  Mackie's  new  stock,  as 
now  exhibited  in  front  of  the  sweeties  in 
the  post-office  window. 

Andy  has  told  me  that  the  mere  sight  of 
them  disturbed  MacGregor  vastly. 

"  Gosh,"  said  that  worthy,  "  man,  Andy, 
if  one  of  yon  gets  into  the  kirk  plate  !  " 

Andy  assured  him  that  this  was  exceed- 
ingly improbable,  but  MacGregor  stepped 
into  the  post-office  to  remonstrate  with 
Mistress  Mackie  who,  so  he  said,  might  for 
all  she  knew,  be  getting  at  the  "  very 
foundations  of  their  religion." 


n6         The  Elder  MacGregor 

"  I  would  expose  them  on  the  counter, 
Mistress  Mackie,"  he  urged,  "  but  no  in  the 
window,  tempting  folk.  I'm  an  elder  my- 
self and  beyond  the  thought  of  it;  but 
gosh !  Mistress  Mackie,  thae  buttons !  I 
wouldnae  care  to  be  going  to  a  strange  kirk 
myself  with  one  in  my  own  possession. 
It's  an  awful  temptation,  woman,  to  expose 
to  the  parish.  I  presume  you  sell  them 
cheap  ? " 

Mistress  Mackie  mentioned  the  price  but 
could  not  induce  the  elder  to  invest. 

"  They're  no  use  to  me,"  he  said  in  a 
bitter  kind  of  way  and  hitting  at  Mistress 
Mackie,  "  no  mortal  use  to  me ;  it's  my 
duty  to  take  care  of  the  kirk  plate,  no  so 
much  to  put  things  in  it,  but,  woman,  you 
make  me  tremble  for  my  duty  next 
Sabbath  with  my  eyesight  no  so  clear  as  it 
used  to  be.  They  come  from  Glasgow, 
you  say  ?  There  must  be  a  lot  of  sin  on 
Sabbath  in  that  city  with  thae  things  in 
profusion.  I'll  have  a  stamp  from  you  to 
encourage  trade,  but  for  the  ]ove  of  the 
kirk,  woman,  take  the  buttons  from  the 
post-office  window." 

Mistress  Mackie  gave  him  the  stamp 


The  Button  117 

but  did  not  remove  the  buttons,  and  so — 
save  that  Mistress  Mackie  sold  a  few  of 
them — the  buttons  remained  upon  their 
cards  in  the  window  till  the  Sabbath  came 
round. 

It  proved  to  be  a  dripping  wet  Sabbath 
morning,  a  downpour  of  rain,  although  it 
was  the  summer  time,  and  the  minister 
was  late  in  getting  down  to  kirk  through 
having  stopped  a  moment  or  two  to  mend 
his  umbrella,  the  cloth  of  which  had  given 
way  at  the  end  of  one  of  the  ribs — a  small 
detail  which  he  was  able  to  rectify  him- 
self, but  it  ran  him  later  than  usual  in 
arriving  at  the  kirk. 

As  many  of  the  folk  were  in  the  habit, 
wet  or  dry,  of  congregating  at  the  kirk 
door  till  the  minister  was  actually  in  the 
vestry,  MacGregor,  who  stood  there  with 
a  keen  eye  upon  the  plate,  had  a  somewhat 
anxious  time  on  this  occasion.  It  got 
about  that  the  minister  was  late  for  one 
thing  and  this  unusual  occurrence  flustered 
the  elder,  and  the  putting  down  of  the  wet 
umbrellas  of  those  who  possessed  them, 
and  the  taking  off  of  the  cloaks  of  one  or 
two  of  the  women  of  the  parish  who  could 


ll8         The  Elder  MacGregor 

afford  such  luxuries,  all  in  the  near 
vicinity  of  the  plate,  disturbed  the  elder 
still  further,  for  the  fear  of  death  was  on 
him  that  in  the  midst  of  these  manoeuvres 
some  one  or  other  would  surreptitiously 
drop  one  of  Mistress  Mackie's  buttons 
amongst  the  coppers  in  the  kirk  plate. 

If  there  wras  one  thing  MacGregor  loved 
it  was  his  kirk ;  if  there  was  one  thing  he 
held  in  special  reverence  it  was  the  plate, 
of  which  he  had  chief  charge. 

However,  the  minister  came  at  last,  and 
such  folk  as  were  not  already  in  the  kirk 
went  in  with  a  rush  to  their  pews. 

It  may  have  been  during  this  rush  that 
it  happened,  MacGregor  never  was  quite 
certain. 

"  Man,"  he  put  it,  "  it  was  the  most 
extraordinary  incident.  I  may  be  a  wee 
bit  dull  of  the  left  eye  but  no  of  the  right, 
and  it  was  the  right  eye  I  kept  glued  to 
the  plate  whilst  the  parish  were  occupied 
with  their  umbrellas.  Yet  I  had  a  kind  of 
awesome  fear  on  me  all  the  time ;  a  kind  of 
prophetic  sensation  as  I'd  had  the  first  day 
I  perceived  thae  cards  in  Mistress  Mackie's 
window.     A  kind  of  voice  saying  inside 


The  Button  119 

me,  '  MacGregor,  watch  the  plate  very 
keen,  for  it's  going  to  be  desecrated  to  your 
eternal  shame,'  and,  man,  it  was,  for  the 
thing  happened.  I  thought,  mind  you,  it 
was  all  right,  for  the  folks  had  all  gone  in 
and  there  was  the  plate,  nearly  all  coppers 
as  usual,  a  brown-looking  plate,  but  honest. 
"Weel,  feeling  greatly  relieved  with  this, 
and  never  thinking,  I  just  gave  it  a  kind  of 
a  bit  shake  and  gosh  !  there  was  the  des- 
ecration staring  me  in  the  face,  buried 
under  a  penny  till  I  shook  it.  One  of  yon 
buttons  after  all !  You  could  have  killed 
me  with  a  microscope  or  any  other  small 
article  when  I  perceived  it.  I  just  took 
the  plate  and  straight  through  the  kirk  to 
the  vestry  and  caught  the  minister  in  time 
and  told  him,  for  he  hadnae  left  the  vestry. 
" '  It's  no  so  much,'  I  said  to  him,  '  the 
fact  of  the  presence  of  the  mere  button 
from  Mistress  Mackie's  shop  getting  in  the 
plate  that  forms  the  desecration,  it's  the 
fact  that  we  hae  one  amongst  us  in  the 
congregation  who's  seeking  credit  from 
heaven  for  a  sixpence  when  he's  deposited 
a  mere  button ;  going  better  than  the 
penny  folk  in  intrinsic  value  without  just 


120         The  Elder  MacGregor 

reason,  ay,  and  better  than  yon  three- 
penny-bit in  the  plate  this  morning,  which 
is  very  unfair,  for  Mistress  Mackie  sells 
the  buttons  very  low.  As  for  my  own 
share  in  it,'  I  said  to  him,  '  I  remonstrated 
with  Mistress  Mackie,  who  is  vastly  to 
blame,  and  I  watched  the  plate  very 
close,  but  I'm  to  blame,  too,  nevertheless, 
for  in  spite  of  me  the  thing  happened. 
I'm  disgraced  as  an  elder  ! ' 

"The  minister,"  added  MacGregor, 
"  was  very  generous,  taking  a  weight  off 
me  by  saying  the  matter  was  very  usual 
in  other  kirks,  but  nevertheless,  he'd  have 
a  word  to  say  after  the  service.  And, 
man,  he  said  it.  Folks  thought  they  were 
going  home  as  usual  that  morning,  but 
the  minister  altered  their  way  of  going  in 
a  real  grand  fashion  worthy  of  the  man. 
When  everybody  thought  he  was  going  to 
leave  the  pulpit,  he  just  took  the  emer- 
gency by  the  throat  instead,  in  the  keen, 
clever  way  he  would  have  at  times  for 
facing  a  difficulty. 

"  '  You'll  just,  all  of  you,'  he  said,  '  in- 
stead of  going  out  of  the  usual  kirk  door 
this  morning,  pass  one  at  a  time  through 


The  Button  121 

the  vestry,  for  I  have  a  word  for  each  of 
you.' 

"At  that  the  whole  parish  trembled 
and  you'd  have  thought  that  every  one 
present  was  the  defaulter.  Then  the  min- 
ister stepped  down  into  the  vestry  and  I 
followed  him. 

"  He  had  the  button  lying  on  a  table, 
and  he  stood  by  it  very  stern  and  majestic. 

" '  Let  them  come  in,  MacGregor,'  said 
he,  and  I  let  them  pass  in  by  ones,  and  as 
each  party  went  through  and  out  at  the 
other  door,  the  minister  said  : 

"  '  Look ! '  and  pointed  to  the  table,  and 
then  said,  '  pass  on.' 

"  There  wasnae  one  of  them  but  shiv- 
ered, but  no  one  dared  to  say  a  word, 
either  to  excuse  themselves  or  otherwise, 
for  the  occasion  had  made  the  minister 
look  more  than  mortal.  All  the  folk,  in- 
cluding his  own  household,  filed  past  him 
as  I  admitted  them,  and  out  at  the  other 
door  into  the  rain.  It  was  an  ordeal  for  the 
most  of  them,  and  as  for  Mistress  Mackie, 
what  with  my  looking  at  her  very  angry 
and  then  with  seeing  the  minister,  she  fair 
burst  into  tears. 


122         The  Elder  MacGregor 

"  Weel,  at  last  it  was  all  over. 

" *  MacGregor,'  said  the  minister  to  me, 
'it's  my  impression  that  there's  not  a 
person  in  the  kirk  who  is  not  guilty,  judg- 
ing by  their  guilty  looks.' 

" '  Weel,'  says  I,  '  there's  only  one  way 
of  it — was  there  never  one  in  the  whole 
congregation  who  looked  innocent  f ' 

"  '  There  is  only  one  man  of  my  people, 
MacGregor,'  he  said,  '  who  looks  inno- 
cent.' 

"  '  Depend  on  it,'  says  I,  '  that's  the  man.' 

" '  I  should  be  sorry  to  hear  it,  Mac- 
Gregor,' says  he,  '  for  the  only  man  who 
looks  innocent  is  an  elder  of  my  kirk  and 
MacGregor  is  his  name.  He  has  been 
agitating  very  severe  lately  for  a  change 
of  postmistress  in  the  district,  and  you 
tell  me  they'd  all  entered  the  kirk  before 
the  button  appeared  at  all.  I'll  say  no 
more.' 

"  And,  man,  what  was  the  end  of  it  ?  I 
fair  couldn't  answer  him,  being  struck 
dumb  with  the  accusation  and  with  his 
noble  and  majestic  look.  He  took  up  his 
umbrella  while  I  stood  there  and  went  out 
in   the  rain,  and  then   I   knew  that  my 


The  Button  123 

very  silence  had  admitted  yon  button.  If 
it  hadnae  been  for  this  event  and  the  seem- 
ing evil  in  it,  I'd  have  had  Mistress  Mackie 
transplanted  from  the  post-office  long  be- 
fore now,  for  she's  very  useless,  but  with 
the  minister  accusing  his  elder  of  raising  a 
plot  against  her  through  yon  button,  and 
him  apparently  admitting  it  through  being 
surprised,  I  never  agitated  against  Mistress 
Mackie  from  that  hour. 

"  I  got  back  the  minister's  favor  in  due 
time,  but  I  never  liked  to  refer  to  the 
event  of  the  button.  He'd  condemned  me 
and  he  believes  I  put  that  button  in  till 
this  day. 

"  The  question  is  who  was  the  real  un- 
adulterated offender  ?  I'm  in  favor  of 
thinking  it  was  daft  Jimmy  of  the  Hills, 
or  maybe,  Mistress  Mackie  herself,  but  I'm 
no  very  sure. 

"  Somebody  or  another  got  the  credit  of 
a  sixpence  up  in  heaven,  and  the  elder  of 
the  kirk  got  the  blame  of  a  button  upon 
earth.     I  ken  no  more." 


CHAPTER  X 

MACGKEGDR  AND  THE  MINISTER'S  COAT 

"When  I  meet  him  in  the  village,  if 
there's  a  sun  at  all  in  the  heavens  it's  like 
three  folk  coming  together,  and  two  of 
them  approaching  me.  One  of  the  latter 
is  the  minister,  and  the  other  the  reflection 
of  myself  in  his  garments.  We  like  our 
minister  to  shine  but  no  just  exactly  in 
that  fashion ! " 

Such  was  the  opening  of  MacGregor's 
address  to  a  few  of  the  folk  who  had  met 
together  secretly  at  the  post-office  one 
night,  when  the  shutters  were  up  and  the 
business  of  the  shop  concluded  for  the  day. 
They  would  have  held  the  meeting  down 
at  the  kirk,  but  they  were  afraid  the  min- 
ister might  get  to  hear  of  it  and  they 
didn't  wish  this,  so  Mistress  Mackie  placed 
the  post-office  at  their  disposal. 

"  Years  wear  out  a  thing,"  continued 
the  elder.  "  But  that's  no  to  say  they 
canna  be  replaced,  always  supposing,"  he 
124 


The  Minister's  Coat  125 

added  slowly,  "  one  has  the  means  to  re- 
place them,  and  if  one  hasnae  the  means 
maybe  other  folks  have,  and  that  is  the 
purpose  for  which  we  are  convened  here 
this  night.  You  all  ken,  I  fancy,  what 
has  been  gathering  like  a  thunder-storm  in 
the  minds  of  the  parish  ever  since  yon 
strange  minister  came  for  a  couple  of  days 
to  the  village,  and  we  compared  the  differ- 
ence. The  difference  was  very  striking. 
Yon  strange  minister's  coat  was  new  and 
did  him  credit.  I'll  no  remark  exactly 
what  I  might  say  about  the  other  min- 
ister's coat  which  more  closely  belongs  to 
us,  but  you  are  aware  I  take  it  that  the 
comparison  wasnae  exactly  in  our  favor. 
A  matter  of  five  years  or  more  tells  on 
the  garments  of  any  man." 

"  Five  !  "  spoke  Mistress  Mackie  from 
behind  the  counter,  "  five !  it's  more  like 
twenty  or  five  and  twenty,  or  I'm  mis- 
taken." 

"  I'll  trouble  you,  Mistress  Mackie,"  said 
the  elder  severely,  "  to  say  as  little  as  you 
can  manage  on  this  occasion.  Our  affair 
is  to  screen  the  minister  and  there's  no  de- 
sire in  consequence  to  be  exact  just  to  a 


126         The  Elder  MacGregor 

year  or  two.  We  all  ken  it's  something 
over  five  years,  but  we'd  prefer  to  think  it 
less." 

MacGregor  looked  round  him  proudly 
after  this  effort.  There  was  a  feeling  in 
the  air  that  applause  was  expected,  but 
none  of  the  few  who  were  present  cared 
to  start  it. 

"  We  have  to  consider,"  resumed  the 
elder,  "  how  the  thing  is  to  be  accom- 
plished. When  I  say  '  how  '  I  mean  to 
include  several  kinds  of  '  how.'  There  is 
the  '  how,'  for  instance,  which  is  a  mon- 
etary affair  involving  funds,  and  there  is 
the  '  how '  'as  to  a  question  of  measure- 
ment, and  there  is  the  '  how  '  as  to  finding 
the  proper  man  in  Glasgow  or  Edinburgh 
to  construct  the  article,  for  we'll  have 
nothing  local.  And  there  are  other 
'hows,'  but  I'll  no  trouble  you  with  them 
in  the  meantime.  Mistress  Mackie,  your 
cough  is  very  troublesome,  can  you  no 
suppress  it?  If  you  could  I'd  be  grate- 
ful ;  and  another  thing,  if  I've  much  more 
to  say  on  this  subject  as  I  fancy  will  be 
likely,  could  you  furnish  me  with  a  glass 
of  water  to  stand  by  me  ?  " 


The  Minister's  Coat  127 

Mistress  Mackie  fetched  the  water  and 
the  elder  sipped  it. 

"  On  the  question  of  the  '  how  '  of  the 
expense  and  other  monetary  details,  the 
parish  is  agreed,  I  understand,  to  bear  the 
whole  burden,  for  in  the  case  of  a  compli- 
mentary present  it  would  hardly  do  to  go 
to  the  minister  and  say,  '  Minister,  we  are 
presenting  you  with  a  new  coat — how 
much  will  you  contribute  yourself  towards 
it?'  That  would  never  do  at  all.  The 
man  must  have  the  coat  delivered  free  at 
the  manse  when  it's  constructed,  with- 
out a  farthing  to  pay  for  it.  That,  says  I, 
is  the  first  '  how.' 

"  The  second  '  how  '  is  as  to  the  fit.  We 
canna  take  a  tape  up  to  the  manse  to 
measure  his  waist  and  shoulders  or  he'd 
be  asking,  '  What  are  you  at  ? '  and, 
maybe,  stop  it.  Nor  can  I  contrive  it  in 
the  vestry  on  Sabbath  secretly.  We  must 
give  up  the  thought  of  measuring  the  man's 
actual  hody.  In  this  connection  I  hae  a 
very  clever  idea  I  hope  you'll  allow  me 
to  promulgate  amongst  you.  We  canna 
measure  the  minister's  system  personally, 
but  we  might  measure  some  one  like  him. 


128         The  Elder  MacGregor 

It's  ray  own  thought,  and  I'm  proud  of  it, 
for  it  meets  a  difficulty.  And  more  than 
this,  I've  gone  further,  for  all  the  time  of 
the  service  last  Sabbath  morn  I  kept  my 
eyes  about  the  kirk,  comparing  first  one 
and  then  another  with  the  minister  in  the 
pulpit  until  at  last  I  got  it.  You'll  maybe 
be  surprised  when  I  tell  you  I  could  only 
discover  one  person  who  would  take  a 
coat,  as  far  as  one  can  gather,  nearabouts 
the  same  size  as  the  minister.  And  you'll 
be  further  surprised  when  I  tell  you  that 
that  person  is  daft  Jimmy  of  the  Hills." 

At  this  a  chorus  of  "  No,  no,  no,"  rose 
from  MacGregor's  audience,  and  one 
amongst  them  said  "  Shame  !  "  but  Mac- 
Gregor promptly  withered  him  by  turning 
round  suddenly  and  saying,  "  Shame ! 
Where's  the  shame  ?  It's  to  Jimmy's  credit 
and  it's  only  the  back  and  the  shoulders. 
When  you  come  to  the  legs  or  the  head 
there's  a  vast  difference  and  his  arms  are 
longer.  We'll  hae  to  take  account  of  that. 
But  what  I  say  is  this,  that  for  general 
exactness  a  coat  that  would  fit  Jimmy  of 
the  Hills  would  no  be  very  far  away  from 
fitting  the  minister,  and  if  you'll  no  be- 


The  Minister's  Coat  129 

lieve  me  I  have  a  plan  to  test  it  and  prove 
it  to  you." 

Andy  inquired  what  the  plan  was. 

"Weel,  supposing  Jimmy's  willing,  we'll 
choose  one  of  the  wettest  days  in  the  week 
and  get  him  to  sit  in  the  rain  till  he's 
drenched  with  it.  Then  we'll  send  him 
up  to  the  manse  and  the  minister  will  be 
sorry  for  him  and  say,  '  Come  in  Jimmy, 
to  the  fire,  and  take  a  warm  to  yourself.' 

"Now,  here's  the  clever  bit.  Once 
Jimmy's  at  yon  manse  fire  we'll  instruct 
him  to  shiver  and  take  off  his  jacket  and 
say  :  '  Eh,  but  I  wish  I  had  the  loan  of  a 
dry  coat  the  day — I'm  cold,  cold.'  Now 
it's  very  probable  (if  I  ken  the  minister  at 
all )  that  at  this  the  minister  will  take  off 
his  coat  and  lend  it  to  Jimmy,  and  there 
will  be  some  of  you  disbelievers  of  my 
word  near  at  hand  to  keek  through  the 
window  of  the  manse  at  this  juncture  and 
see  how  it  fits.  If  it  fits — well,  the  con- 
clusion is  practically  ended.  "We'll  ken, 
or  you'll  ken,  for  I  ken  it  myself  already, 
that  in  ordering  the  minister's  coat  frae 
Glasgow  or  elsewhere,  all  we  have  to  do 
is  to  measure  Jimmy.    I  hope  that's  plain." 


130         The  Elder  MacGregor 

Those  present  agreed  that  they  under- 
stood the  elder's  meaning. 

MacGregor  continued : 

"  Having  disposed  of  this  difficulty,  there 
is  the  '  how  '  of  the  question  of  choosing  a 
good  tailor,  and  myself  I'm  in  favor  of  the 
parish  paying  somebody's  expenses  to 
Glasgow  or  Edinburgh  to  arrange  this,  for 
it's  all  in  the  '  cut '  I'm  told,  with  minis- 
ters' raiments,  and  the  question's  very  im- 
portant. I'll  mention  no  names  exactly, 
but  I  ken  one  man  who'd  be  well  fitted  for 
the  task ;  he's  an  elder  of  the  kirk  and 
wouldnae  object  to  the  jaunt  (to  Edinburgh 
for  choice,  he's  no  keen  about  going  to 
Glasgow),  I  fancy  some  of  you  will  gather 
the  name  of  the  man  who  would  be  pre- 
pared to  make  this  sacrifice  ?  " 

MacGregor  looked  round  him.  Every- 
body was  looking  very  dull  at  this  point. 
There  were  one  or  two  would  have  liked 
the  journey  themselves  if  the  parish  were 
paying  for  it,  and  it  seemed  hard  luck  to 
every  one  if  MacGregor  was  to  be  chosen, 
as  he  so  clearly  indicated. 

"  Having  got  to  Edinburgh,"  continued 
the  elder,  "  the  man  I  refer  to  would  make 


The  Minister's  Coat  131 

it  his  first  duty  to  examine  all  the  tailors' 
shops  and  the  clothes  they  had  and  the 
prices.  He  would  then  choose  the  proper 
place  and  furnish  Jimmy's  measurements, 
and  complete  the  affair  generally. 

"The  whole  affair,  forbye  its  difficulties, 
wouldnae  necessitate  his  residing  in  Edin- 
burgh longer  than,  maybe,  three  days,  and 
the  coat  could  be  sent  after  him  unless  the 
parish  considered  it  advisable  for  him  to 
wait  and  bring  the  article  back  with  him. 
I  dinna  ken  how  you  regard  this  last  sug- 
gestion ?  " 

MacGregor  looked  round  again  inquir- 
ingly. The  faces  near  him  looked  blanker 
than  ever.  The  expense  of  the  minister's 
new  coat  appeared  to  be  increasing  by 
leaps  and  bounds. 

"  In  the  latter  case,"  said  MacGregor, 
"  one  of  you  could  take  my  duties  at  the 
kirk  on  Sabbath  if  I  was  away  a  Sabbath. 
I'm  no  looking  forward  to  the  event  you 
understand.  It's  a  considerable  sacrifice 
to  undertake  it,  but  I'll  no  just  object  to 
the  Sabbath  in  Edinburgh,  when  I'm  there 
at  any  rate,  if  you're  wanting  me  to  re- 
main  till   the   coat's   ready.     There's  the 


132         The  Elder  MacGregor 

Tron  and  one  or  two  other  kirks  to  attend, 
I'm  thinking." 

Mistress  Mackie  was  the  only  one  who 
ventured  to  make  a  counter  suggestion,  for 
the  surprise  MacGregor  had  sprung  upon 
them  had  taken  folks'  breath  away. 

"Glug-glug,"  began  Mistress  Mackie, 
with  her  curious  cough.  "  Glug-glug,  I'm 
thinking,  MacGregor,  the  parish  could nae 
do  without  you  on  a  Sabbath.  It  would  suit 
better  to  send  myself  than  a  kirk  elder." 

"  Tut,  tut,  woman,"  said  MacGregor,  in 
a  vexed  tone,  "  what  do  you  ken  about 
ministers'  coats?  You  may  consider  the 
matter  settled  before  you  spoke.  I  ken 
where  my  duty  lies.  I  hae  a  special  call 
set  on  me,  like  a  voice  saying, '  MacGregor, 
no  matter  what  it  costs  you,  go  ! '" 

"It  will  cost  you  naething,"  replied 
Mistress  Mackie,  "  if  the  parish  has  to  pay 
for  it." 

"  Tut,  tut,  you're  beyond  reason,  woman," 
answered  the  elder.  "  The  thing's  settled. 
"Weel,  folks,  we'll  adjourn  for  this  even- 
ing," he  concluded,  "  and  we'll  settle  the 
methods  of  subscription  and  the  rest  to- 
morrow night  at  the  same  place  and  hour." 


The  Minister's  Coat  133 

MacGregor  got  rather  hurriedly  out  of 
the  post-office  after  this,  but  the  others  re- 
mained behind  discussing  the  new  phase  of 
the  matter,  for  it  seemed  likely  that  Mac- 
Gregor's  visit  to  Edinburgh  would  cost 
much  more  than  the  coat,  nor  could  any- 
body quite  see  why  a  new  coat  for  the 
minister  should  necessarily  involve  a 
week's  holiday  in  Edinburgh  for  MacGre- 
gor at  the  parish  expense. 

The  intention  was  good  but  the  outlay 
another  matter. 

Perhaps  it  was  as  well  that  MacGregor 
left  when  he  did,  as  he  was  very  severely 
handled  after  his  departure. 

A  very  admirable  suggestion  was  brought 
forward  presently  before  the  rest  of  the 
meeting  dispersed,  to  the  effect  that  a  let- 
ter might  contrive  just  about  as  much  as 
MacGregor's  proposed  outing. 

Young  MacConnochie  was  with  his  regi- 
ment in  Glasgow,  and  he  was  a  lad  with 
some  brains  about  him.  Doubtless  he 
would  be  able  to  give  them  the  name  of  a 
tailor  or  two,  and  to  arrange  the  terms, 
and  all  else,  once  they  were  in  possession 
of  the  minister's  measurements.     I  believe 


134         The  Elder  MacGregor 

that  the  affair  was  ultimately  arranged 
thus  after  one  or  two  further  meetings. 

MacGregor  had  a  hard  fight  to  maintain 
his  views  as  to  the  necessity  of  "  going  in 
person,"  but  was  worsted  by  the  unani- 
mous verdict  of  a  needy  parish. 

However,  with  great  good  humor  the 
elder  did  his  best  for  the  minister  and  for 
the  village  in  spite  of  this,  for  it  was  he 
who  induced  Jimmy  of  the  Hills  to  under- 
take his  share  of  it,  on  a  singularly  wet 
and  bleak  afternoon,  up  at  the  manse. 

Jimmy  had  very  little  liking  for  the 
rain,  but  the  promise  of  a  dinner  from 
MacGregor  and  some  sweeties  from  Mis- 
tress Mackie  brought  him  to  the  point  of 
it,  and  all  fell  out  exactly  as  MacGregor 
had  planned. 

There  was  Jimmy  sitting  before  the 
manse  fire  with  the  minister's  coat  on,  and 
several  of  the  parish  outside  in  the  rain  by 
the  window  to  have  a  look  at  him ! 

The  unfortunate  thing  was  that  both 
the  minister  and  some  of  his  family 
chanced  to  notice  this,  and  what  was 
taken  to  be  a  very  unjustifiable  and 
unusual    curiosity    as    to    affairs    at   the 


The  Minister's  Coat  135 

manse,  furnished  the  minister  "with  a 
scathing  sermon  which  made  several  of 
them  blush  scarlet  with  shame  the  follow- 
ing Sabbath. 

However,  the  minister's  coat  fitted 
Jimmy  after  all,  and  they  had  obtained 
the  man's  measurements,  which  was  the 
great  thing. 

These  measurements  and  certain  secretly 
collected  funds  went  up  to  Glasgow  to 
young  MacConnochie,  and  a  suspense  of 
several  days  ensued,  until  at  last  Mac- 
Gregor  had  a  post  card  one  day  to  say 
that  the  new  coat  would  arrive  at  the 
distant  railway  station  the  day  after,  if  he 
would  kindly  send  for  it. 

MacGregor  went  himself  and  brought 
the  parcel  back  in  triumph.  Then  there 
was  another  meeting  and  it  was  deter- 
mined to  present  it  to  the  minister  just  as 
it  had  reached  them — paper,  string  and 
all,  and  to  let  him  have  the  first  sight 
of  it. 

Mistress  Mackie  was  for  opening  the 
parcel,  but  the  village  said  "  No." 

The  momentous  hour  arrived.  It  was 
agreed  that  lame  Andy,  the  precentor,  was 


136         The  Elder  MacGregor 

to  be  the  spokesman  on  this  occasion,  and 
up  the  whole  parish  tramped  with  the 
parcel  to  the  manse. 

The  minister  was  reading  a  verse  or  two 
to  his  wife  that  afternoon,  and  comparing 
certain  passages  in  the  New  Testament 
with  certain  passages  in  the  Old  for  her 
delectation,  when  the  word  reached  him 
that  he  was  wanted  by  the  parish  out  of 
doors,  if  he  would  not  mind  stepping  out 
to  them. 

The  unusual  nature  of  the  circumstance 
surprised  and  perhaps  startled  the  man, 
for  it  is  said  that  he  rose  and  went  over 
to  where  his  wife  was  sitting  before  he 
went  out  to  them,  and  said  to  her  very 
sadly : 

"We  cannot  tell  in  what  way  things 
may  come  to  us.  My  people  have  sent 
for  me.  Maybe,  after  all  these  years  and 
with  age  creeping  on  me,  maybe  folks  are 
tired  of  me  and  want  another  minister  in 
my  shoes  and  know  not  how  to  set  about 
it.  If  they  are  come  to  say  this,  the 
Lord's  will  be  done." 

Then  he  stepped  out  bareheaded,  and  his 
wife  and  two  of  his  sons  came  with  him. 


The  Minister's  Coat  137 

There  stood  Andy  with  a  great  parcel  in 
his  hands  and  all  the  others  grouped  about 
him. 

The  minister  gasped  in  his  wife's  ear ; 

"It's  not  what  we  were  thinking.  It's  a 
presentation  of  something  from  my  peo- 
ple. The  Lord  be  praised  this  day."  But 
he  came  forward  as  if  he  knew  nothing 
about  it,  and  said : 

"  You  sent  for  me,  and  I  am  here." 

Then  Andy  said : 

"Minister,  I  am  to  speak  for  the  folk 
who  love  you  and  none  more  than  me.  I 
am  to  say  they  have  thought  to  please  you 
by  a  gift  which  it  will  honor  them  to  see 
you  wear.  I  am  to  say,  minister,  it  is 
given  you  in  all  reverence  and  respect  and 
love.     And  the  gift  is  here." 

The  minister's  face  changed  as  Andy 
spoke  and  grew  stern  and  cold,  and  when 
Andy  had  concluded  he  cried  with  a  com- 
mand in  it : 

"What  is  it?  Cut  the  string."  And 
some  one  cut  it. 

Then  the  minister  took  the  coat,  and 
they  all  looked  at  his  stern  face  in  fear  of 
him — in    fear    lest    they    had    offended. 


138         The  Elder  MacGregor 

But  the  stern  look  swept  away  in  a  mo- 
ment and  in  place  of  it  came  a  great  ten- 
derness. I  am  told  the  man's  face  fell 
suddenly. 

"  My  people, — I  thank  you,"  the  minister 
gulped,  "  I  thank  you,  I  will  wear  it  all 
my  days." 

So  the  village  folk  stole  home  in  quiet- 
ness, for  they  had  seen  their  minister  very 
nigh  to  tears. 

What  was  in  his  thoughts  when  he  had 
bade  them  cut  the  string  was  this : 

"  Have  my  people  been  long  ashamed  of 
me?" 

But  what  he  thought  when  he  took  the 
gift  and  held  it  was  somewhat  otherwise. 

"  Poor  I  may  be.  They  have  loved  me 
and  honored  me  all  these  years." 

And  it  is  the  latter  thought  which  is  al- 
ways uppermost  in  his  heart,  as  night 
after  night  the  minister  folds  that  coat 
and  lays  it  carefully  upon  the  shelf  near 
his  bedside ;  as  morning  after  morning 
he  takes  it  up  again  to  wear  it ;  to  go  out 
amongst  his  people  with  his  face  shining, 
to  meet  the  labors  of  a  new  day. 


CHAPTEK  XI 

GOING   FOR  A   SOLDIER 

One  of  the  lads  of  the  village  had  "  gone 
for  a  soldier,"  as  the  saying  was.  In  other 
words  he  had  left  the  village  and  the  next 
folks  heard  of  him  was  that  he  had  enlisted 
and  looked  very  fine  indeed  in  his  uniform 
in  Glasgow. 

He  was  a  strapping  young  fellow  named 
MacConnochie  who  had  been  at  the  plough 
till  the  military  fancy  took  him,  and  like 
to  be  a  credit  to  any  regiment  in  the  case 
of  war. 

After  he  had  been  in  Glasgow  for  some 
considerable  time  MacConnochie  came 
home  for  a  little  by  way  of  a  holiday  and 
was  quite  a  big  man  in  the  place  whilst  his 
visit  lasted. 

Now  when  Jimmy  of  the  Hills,  the  daft 
lad  of  the  village,  cast  eyes  upon  him  in 
his  uniform,  he  was  so  overcome  with  the 
glory  of  the  sight  as  to  be  literally  struck 
dumb  with  it  for  several  hours  after. 
»39 


140         The  Elder  MacGregor 

Jimmy  used  to  have  a  way  of  babbling 
harmless  nonsense.  Indeed,  had  he  had 
more  sense  in  him  he  might  have  been  a 
troublesome  gossip,  but  folks  had  learned 
to  pay  small  heed  to  him  and  the  only  one 
who  seemed  to  care  about  his  babbling  was 
Mistress  Mackie,  the  postmistress  who, 
when  business  was  slack,  would  allow 
Jimmy  to  sit  in  the  shop  and  air  his  views 
on  life  in  general  whilst  she  herself  got  rid 
of  any  spleen  she  might  happen  to  have 
about  her  by  telling  Jimmy  of  her  various 
wrongs. 

On  the  day  when  Jimmy  of  the  Hills 
first  beheld  the  magnificent  military  spec- 
tacle of  MacConnochie  in  all  his  war-paint 
fresh  from  Glasgow,  Mistress  Mackie  had 
to  do  all  the  talking,  for  never  a  word 
said  Jimmy  that  morning.  He  sat  on  an 
empty  box  in  the  post  office  "just  glower- 
ing," and  looking  somewhat  thoughtful 
and  uncanny,  as  if  he  were  planning  some- 
thing in  his  own  mind  all  the  while. 

Every  now  and  then  he  would  leave  the 
post-office  and  steal  down  the  village  to  the 
cottage  where  MacConnochie's  people  re- 
sided, to  have  another  look  at  the  young 


"Jimmy  gave  a  hopeless  gasp  and  fell  off  the  box 
backwards." — Page  141. 


Tht  Elder  MacGrevor. 


Going  for  a  Soldier  141 

soldier,  and  directly  this  was  accomplished 
he  would  hurry  away  back  to  the  post-office 
to  sit  on  the  empty  box  again  as  though 
the  sight  of  MacConnochie  was  too  much 
for  him. 

Mistress  Mackie,  noticing  his  peculiar 
manner,  gave  him  a  sweetie  to  cheer  him, 
but  a  kind  of  gloom  seemed  to  settle  upon 
Jimmy  as  the  morning  went  by.  Yet  de- 
spite his  gloom  he  was  very  restless  and 
apparently  the  victim  of  some  strong  sup- 
pressed excitement  which  Mistress  Mackie 
did  not  understand. 

Jimmy's  excitement  came  to  a  height 
when  the  young  soldier,  in  person,  sud- 
denly stepped  into  the  post-office  to  show 
himself  off  to  Mistress  Mackie  with  a  kind 
of  "  see  what  a  fine  fellow  am  I "  sort  of 
air  about  him. 

Directly  MacConnochie  appeared  upon 
the  threshold,  Jimmy,  who  was  balancing 
himself  on  the  empty  box  aforementioned, 
gave  a  kind  of  hopeless  gasp  and  fell  off 
the  box  backwards,  making  a  great  clatter 
and  disturbance. 

Mistress  Mackie  was  very  angry  and  said 
so ;  but    neither    she   nor   MacConnochie 


142         The  Elder  MacGregor 

could  get  Jimmy  to  remain  upon  his  feet 
so  long  as  the  uniform  was  near  him. 

Mistress  Mackie  remonstrated  and 
screamed  at  him,  but  Jimmy  simply  lay 
there  gasping,  with  his  face  to  the  floor, 
and  when  she  and  the  young  soldier 
dragged  hi  in  to  his  feet  and  placed  him  on 
the  box,  over  he  went  again  between  them 
with  another  gasp,  and  lay  on  the  floor 
wallowing. 

This  was  Jimmy's  way  of  showing  his 
admiration  of  MacConnochie,  but  it  did 
not  quite  suit  either  Mistress  Mackie  or 
the  post-office.  She  had  neither  the  time 
given  her  to  admire  MacConnochie  nor  to 
sell  him  the  stamp  or  post  card  she  pre- 
sumed he  had  come  for. 

The  end  of  it  was  that  MacConnochie 
at  Mistress  Mackie's  request,  stooped  and 
gathered  up  the  sprawling  Jimmy  and, 
swinging  him  over  his  shoulder  as  best  he 
could,  carried  him  out  of  the  shop  and 
dropped  him  on  the  roadway,  whereupon 
Jimmy  scrambled  to  his  feet  and  with  a 
loud  howl  made  a  bolt  through  the  village 
away  up  through  the  glen  to  the  hills, 
whence  he  only  emerged  some  two  days 


Going  for  a  Soldier  143 

later   after   MacConnochie  had.  taken  his 
departure  for  Glasgow. 

For  some  time  after  this  Jimmy  of  the 
Hills  remained  very  dreamy  in  manner, 
until  the  great  resolve  which  was  appar- 
ently shaping  within  him  took  definite 
form. 

At  last  very  early  one  morning,  when 
Mistress  Mackie  had  just  opened  the  shop, 
matters  came  to  a  head. 

Jimmy  stepped  in  to  the  post-office,  took 
off  his  cap  and  placed  it  on  the  counter 
and  announced  in  an  awestruck  whisper : 

"  Mistress  Mackie,  I'm  going  for  a 
soldier." 

"  What ! "  screamed  Mistress  Mackie. 
"  What !  man,  you're  no  fit !  "  Then  her 
chronic  cough  seized  her  and  she  could  say 
no  more. 

Jimmy  repeated : 

"Mistress  Mackie,  I'm  going  for  a 
soldier,"  and  taking  up  his  cap,  put  it  on 
again  and  left  the  post-office  without  more 
ado.  Within  less  than  an  hour  the  news 
was  all  over  the  village. 

"  Hae  you  heard  about  daft  Jimmy  ? 
He's  going  for  a  soldier  !  " 


144         The  Elder  MacGregor 

"  Ay — it  would  bo  the  sight  of  Mac- 
Connochie  inflamed  him." 

"  They'll  no  take  a  i  luny '  in  the  regi- 
ment." 

"Will  they  no?  Maybe  they'll  no 
ken  him  for  a  lunatic  until  after  he's 
taken." 

"  I'll  never  believe  Jimmy  of  the  Hills 
will  ever  get  to  Glasgow  to  begin  with." 

"  He's  very  determined,  however,  at 
times,  and  he  might." 

"Ay,  I'm  thinking  Jimmy  may  be  a 
soldier  after  all." 

Jimmy  was  on  everybody's  lips  that 
morning  till  the  minister  stepped  down 
from  the  manse. 

"  What's  this  I  hear,"  said  he,  "  Jimmy 
of  the  Hills  ?  A  daft  lad !  I'll  attend  to 
it.     Send  him  up  to  the  manse  to  me." 

But  this  proved  to  be  impossible,  for  no 
one  could  find  him.  After  making  the 
momentous  declaration  to  Mistress  Mackie 
Jimmy  had  disappeared. 

Then  it  dawned  upon  the  parish  that 
Jimmy  had  departed  for  Glasgow  whilst 
they  were  all  talking  about  it,  and  there 
was  a  feeling  in  the  air  that  the  village 


Going  for  a  Soldier  145 

would  be  disgraced  if  he  ever  reached  his 
destination. 

Certainly  a  worse  representative  of  the 
parish  than  Jimmy  of  the  Hills  could  not 
have  been  found. 

There  was  the  probability,  too,  that  he 
would  get  lost  and  never  reach  Glasgow, 
for  he  was  known  to  have  no  money,  and 
his  silly  ways  would  be  like  to  frighten 
folks  who  did  not  know  him. 

MacGregor,  the  kirk  elder,  gave  it  as 
his  opinion,  "that  it  was  just  a  case  of 
Jimmy's  losing  himself.  There's  no  fear 
of  his  getting  within  many  a  mile  of  any 
regiment,  and  if  he  did,  they'd  soon  give 
him  the  go-by.  Besides,  the  lad  doesnae 
ken  the  road  beyond  the  first  mile,  and 
who's  he  to  go  to  for  direction  ?  You'll 
see  him  back  in  a  day  or  two  or  I'm  mis- 
taken. Go  for  a  soldier !  He  may  go 
or  start  to  go  but  he'll  never  reach  the 
desired  climax.  The  man's  daft,  as  every- 
body kens,  so  where's  the  sense  in  attend- 
ing to  him  or  bothering  after  him  ?  " 

Nevertheless,  some  of  the  folks  thought 
best  to  go  after  Jimmy,  and  as  a  search 
of  this  kind  is  infectious,  first  one  would 


146         The  Elder  MacGregor 

go  out  to  seek  for  him  and  then  another, 
until  the  bulk  of  the  parish  were  at  it  to 
bring  him  back,  before  he  had  got  far 
away  from  the  place,  if  possible. 

"  There  was  a  great  lack  of  sense  in  the 
parish  yon  morning,"  MacGregor  has  since 
said  to  me.  "Jimmy  wasnae  the  only 
daft  person  in  the  village,  with  them  all 
tramping  away  to  look  for  him.  Per- 
sonally, I  wasnae  concerned  to  any  great 
degree  whether  he  went  for  a  soldier  or 
otherwise.  It  was  all  a  hullabaloo  about 
naething,  forbye  that  I  wouldnae  just 
have  cared  to  see  Jimmy  of  the  Hills 
representing  the  parish  in  any  decent 
regiment.  Fancy  Jimmy  in  a  kilt  with 
yon  long  legs  of  his.  Man,  he  would  have 
looked  fearsome ;  an  awful  disgrace  to  us 
all." 

The  search,  however,  was  abandoned 
long  before  nightfall,  for  folks  began  to 
think  that  Jimmy  would  turn  up  as  usual 
all  in  due  time.  But  the  days  went  past 
and  still  no  Jimmy  until  a  week  had  gone ; 
then  a  fortnight  passed ;  then  three  weeks  ; 
and  the  question  still  remained  unanswered 
as  to  what  had  come  of  him.     Nearly  a 


Going  for  a  Soldier  147 

month  had  gone  by,  when  it  was  reported 
one  morning  that  the  minister  had  received 
a  letter  "  from  the  Colonel  of  some  regi- 
ment or  another,"  saying  that,  "Jimmy 
had  reached  the  barracks,  that  he  had 
been  recognized  by  a  private  called  Mac- 
Connochie  in  the  regiment,  and  asking 
what  they  were  to  do  with  him,"  which 
was  a  very  difficult  question  for  the 
minister  to  answer,  seeing  that  he  might 
be  expected  to  send  money  which  he 
could  ill  afford,  for  the  relief  of  Jimmy 
and  to  bring  him  home  again. 

It  was  a  sorry  business,  indeed,  if  the 
whole  of  this  responsibility  should  be  put 
upon  the  minister,  and  the  minister  felt  it 
so.  Many  a  Sabbath  had  he  tried  to 
preach  sense  into  Jimmy's  vacant  under- 
standing and  failed,  nor  could  Jimmy  be 
even  induced  to  attend  the  kirk  regularly ; 
he  would  come  for  a  few  Sabbaths  one 
after  the  other,  then  he  would  be  absent 
for  several  weeks,  but  no  regularity  in  his 
attendance,  so  that  it  was  mighty  hard  if 
the  expense  of  redeeming  this  black  sheep 
were  to  fall  on  the  minister. 

There  was  a  great  grief  over  it  up  at  the 


148         The  Elder  MacGregor 

manse,  and  folks  noticed  that  the  minister 
looked  very  sad  in  place  of  being  joyful  at 
the  lost  one  being  found. 

MacGregor  met  him  in  the  village  and 
was  much  struck  with  his  looks,  even  ask- 
ing him  if  he  had  "  any  trouble  up  at  the 
manse,"  but  the  minister  was  too  good 
and  proud  a  man  to  tell  the  truth  of  what 
was  "eating  at  his  marrow,"  as  Mac- 
Gregor puts  it. 

"  I  had  to  gather  by  bits  what  was 
troubling  him,"  said  the  elder,  "  getting  at 
it  with  the  help  of  Mistress  Mackie  who  is 
no  very  clear-sighted  as  a  rule,  but  who 
skirted  round  the  subject  in  a  very  clever 
fashion  on  this  occasion,  gradually  getting 
at  the  difficulty  by  suggesting,  '  You'll 
hae  a  lot  of  expense  with  yon  bairns  of 
yours  ? '  and  the  minister  replying  that 
this  was  so.  Then  she  would  say,  '  And 
you'll  hae  had  a  lot  of  expenditure  in  the 
past  ? '  and  he  would  agree.  Till,  by  clever 
remarks  of  that  kind  it  just  dawned  on 
one  or  two  of  us  chatting  at  the  post-office, 
that  it  was  the  minister's  pocket  was  troub- 
ling him. 

"  When  that  flashed  across  us,  I  gave  a 


Going  for  a  Soldier  149 

wink  to  one  or  two  and  broached  the 
subject  very  delicately,  saying,  '  that  as 
Jimmy  was  so  bad  a  kirk-goer  the  whole 
matter  was  a  secular  one  and  quite  a  mis- 
take on  the  part  of  the  regiment  to  take  it 
as  a  religious  affair.' 

"  Then  I  suggested  that  the  minister  had 
nothing  at  all  to  do  with  it,  but  he  would 
nae  have  this.  But  I  could  see  from  the 
relief  on  the  man's  face  that  he  perceived 
the  drift  of  it.  We  all  kenned,  you  see, 
that  he'd  been  saving  desperate  hard  to  get 
another  of  his  sons  started  in  life.  Man,  I 
wheeled  him  round  gradual  to  our  view  of 
it,  making  a  parish  affair  of  it,  you  see, 
and  it  ended  as  we  wanted  it,  or  rather  as 
Ave  didnae  want  it  but  were  obliged  to  have 
it,  in  the  minister's  consulting  myself  and 
one  or  two  others. 

"  And  for  the  sake  of  the  parish  we  had 
to  get  up  a  most  vexatious  week-day 
collection  to  buy  back  a  daft  lad  they 
wouldnae  have  in  the  regiment,  by  paying 
his  railway  fare.  There  was  a  question  of 
sending  myself  to  fetch  him  which  I  was 
mercifully  spared  through  the  minister's 
arranging  he  was  to  be  put  in  the  train  at 


150         The  Elder  MacGregor 

Glasgow  with  the  guard  to  look  after  him. 
Maybe  MacConnochie  explained  the  situa- 
tion, for  I  must  say  the  regimental  folks 
were  apparently  very  attentive.  We  sent 
a  cart  over  the  moor  to  fetch  Jimmy 
from  the  station ;  a  rare  fuss  about  a  lad 
the  parish  was  well  rid  of,  and  presently 
he  arrives  standing  up  in  the  cart  as 
proud  as  Punch,  instead  of  being  humil- 
iated, and  waving  his  hands  as  though  he'd 
cost  us  naething  and  done  something  very 
creditable. 

"  We  have  aye  a  fearsome  time  when 
MacConnochie  comes  home  in  case  Jimmy 
is  fired  again  with  the  regimental  ardor, 
but,  maybe,  he  was  quenched  when  he 
found  they  didnae  want  him.  He  aye 
talks  of  the  time  when  '  he  went  for  a 
soldier,'  notwithstanding,  and  the  prayers 
of  the  parish  are  universal  that  he  may 
never  go  again.  He  '  went '  but  he  didnae 
'  get  there'  and  we  aye  hope  he'll  rest  con- 
tent with  that. 

"The  peculiar  thing  is,"  concluded 
MacGregor,  "how  Jimmy  of  the  Hills 
scented  out  Glasgow  and  found  his  way 
to  the  barracks.     It  seems  to  me  to  prove 


Going  for  a  Soldier  151 

that  even  dafties  hae  some  kind  of  logic 
about  their  misunderstandings.  I  could 
have  walked  the  distance  myself  in,  maybe, 
a  half  or  a  third  the  time,  but  it's  fair 
marvelous  that  Jimmy  contrived  the  mat- 
ter at  all. 

"  I'm  no  so  sure  but  that  Jimmy  deserves 
just  a  shadow  of  credit  for  the  endurance 
of  the  thing  and  the  power  of  the  instinct 
of  the  creature  that  got  him  to  thae  bar- 
racks after  all. 

"  When  we  come  to  consider,  however, 
what  the  Colonel,  and  the  other  officers 
he  seems  to  hae  mixed  with,  thought  of 
him  and  how  they  appreciated  his  arrival 
and  general  conduct  whilst  he  was  amongst 
them 

"Weel,  I  think  it  would  be  a  kindness 
both  to  Jimmy  himself,  and  to  the  parish 
that  gie'd  him  birth,  and  to  the  folk  in 
particular  who  paid  for  his  redemption  in 
gathering  together  his  railway  fare,  just  to 
be  discreet  enough,  if  you've  no  objection 
to  draw  a  veil." 


CHAPTER  XII 

MACGREGOR   ON   WRITING   A   BOOK 

Like  many  another  in  impoverished 
circumstances,  the  minister  had  a  certain 
secret  in  his  bosom,  which  none  but  his 
good  wife  knew.  This  secret  had  been  in 
existence  many  a  year. 

MacGregor,  the  elder,  got  mighty  near 
to  finding  it  out  one  Saturday  afternoon, 
when  he  happened  upon  the  minister  away 
up  over  the  moor. 

It  was  summer  time,  but  the  sun  being 
behind  a  cloud  or  two,  the  minister  had 
taken  off  his  hat  as  he  would  often  do, 
and  was  carrying  it  in  his  hand,  and  there 
was  a  dreamy  look  about  him,  as  though 
he  were  planning  out  some  new  points  for 
his  sermon  or  combating  something  knotty 
as  he  walked  along. 

MacGregor  stood  watching  him  as  he 
approached. 

"  Man,"  said  the  elder  to  himself,  as  the 
minister  neared  him.  "  Man,  I'm  convinced 
152 


On  Writing  a  Book  153 

of  it.  If  any  man  can  do  it,  yon  minister 
of  ours  is  he.  Ay !  and  it  would  be  noble 
to  attempt  it,  and,  Lord  bless  me,  if  he 
succeeded,  the  parish  would  be  daft  with 

joy." 

Presently  the  minister  perceived  his  kirk 
elder,  and  came  directly  towards  him. 

"  A  fine  day,"  said  the  minister. 

"  It's  all  that,"  responded  the  elder, 
"forbye  a  cloud  or  two  up  yonder  which 
we  neednae  complain  about." 

"No,"  said  the  minister.  "Let  us  en- 
joy the  sunlight,  MacGregor,  and  never 
heed  the  clouds  this  morning." 

"  You  appeared  to  be  very  thoughtful," 
remarked  the  elder.  "  I'm  wondering  a 
great  thing — ay !  and  a  noble  thing,  about 
you.  As  you  came  over  the  moor  yonder, 
a  queer  and  very  exalted  thought  took  me. 
'Man,'  I  just  said  to  myself,  'I'm  con- 
vinced that  minister  of  ours  could  do  what 
I'm  thinking.'  " 

"  And  what  was  that  ? "  laughed  the 
minister. 

"  Thinks  I,"  said  MacGregor,  "  he  could 
do  it,  but  he's  probably  never  thought  of 
it.     We  all  ken  he  never  did  much  at  the 


l  J4         The  Elder  MacGregor 

College  in  Glasgow,  and  didnae  shine  very 
greatly,  but  that's  just  the  kind  of  man  to 
do  it ;  no  a  clever  man,  but  a  genius,  and 
there's  a  vast  difference  between  the  two." 

The  minister,  who  scarcely  knew 
whether  this  was  complimentary  or  other- 
wise, remained  discreetly  silent,  the  refer- 
ence to  his  University  career  of  years  ago, 
which  the  village  knew  to  be  "  just  moder- 
ate," did  not  strike  him  as  a  very  happy 
one. 

"Weel,"  said  MacGregor,  "that  was 
what  came  over  me,  'that's  the  kind  of 
man  to  do  it.'  " 

"  What  ?  "  asked  the  minister. 

MacGregor  looked  him  all  over  slowly 
with  a  long,  intense  look,  and  then  whis- 
pered in  that  class  of  whisper  which  one 
prints  in  capital  letters  : 

"  If  I'm  no  mistaken  you're  just  dull 
enough  and  just  clever  enough,  if  some 
kind  friend  gie'd  you  the  hint — to  prove 
yourself  a  genius — and — Write  a  book." 

The  minister  fell  back  a  step,  and  grew 
pale,  but  MacGregor  instantly  followed 
up  his  advantage. 

"  And  when  you  hae  completed  it,  there's 


On  Writing  a  Book  155 

just  one  duty  remaining,  to  remember  the 
individual  who  suggested  the  thing  to  you 
on  the  moor,  a  kirk  elder  who  wouldnae 
just  object  to  a  dedication  if  such  a  thing 
flashed  across  you." 

At  this  the  minister,  whose  secret  long- 
ing of  years  seemed  to  be  suddenly  bared 
to  the  rude  light  of  day,  contrived  to  utter 
that  he  would  "  take  it  into  considera- 
tion," but  MacGregor  was  on  the  war-path. 

"It  will  gie  you,"  said  the  elder,  "a 
vast  heap  of  consideration,  you'll  no  re- 
quire to  put  down  the  first  or  the  second 
word  that  comes  into  your  cranium,  no 
nor  the  third  or  the  fourth.  Maybe  you'll 
hae  to  think  of  a  dozen  expressions  before 
you  get  the  right  one ;  it's  no  just  like 
a  sermon  that  you  can  dole  out  to  us  by 
the  yard,  and  that  we're  obliged  to  take 
from  you  because  we've  no  opportunity 
to  object.  It's  a  question  of  more  delicate 
and  solemn  consideration ;  but  I  believe, 
nevertheless,  you  could  do  it." 

The  elder,  naturally  enough,  imagined 
that  nothing  more  pleasing  could  pass 
from  his  lips  than  the  words  he  was  now 
uttering,  but  the  minister  took  it  queerly. 


156         The  Elder  MacGregor 

I  have  since  heard  from  MacGregor  him- 
self that  "  the  man  looked  kind  of  withered 
when  I  was  talking  to  him,  like  a  tree 
struck  by  the  storm ;  the  magnitude  of  my 
remarks  were,  maybe,  too  much  for  him." 

Be  this  as  it  may,  the  minister  remained 
silent. 

His  kirk  elder  continued  : 

"  If  I  may  say  a  word  as  to  the  binding 
of  the  book — I'd  have  it  green ;  no  the 
kind  of  green  that  is  sticky  and  comes  off 
on  your  hands  when  you  hold  it,  but  just 
green — dark  for  preference,  and  perma- 
nent. Then,  inside,  before  the  reading 
commences,  I'd  have  a  picture  of  yourself, 
either  at  the  manse  or  in  the  pulpit,  and 
maybe,  a  second  smaller  one  of  the  man 
the  book's  dedicated  to — it  could  be  on 
another  page  if  you  found  it  advisable. 
It's  merely  a  suggestion  however.  But  the 
matter  of  the  volume  will  take  it  out  of 
you.  Your  sermons  wouldnae  just  do — 
it's  no  that  they're  not  good  enough ;  but 
in  book  form  I  dinna  just  think  that  folks 
would  care  for  them,  and  you  want  to 
write  a  book  to  be  proud  of.  I'm  in  favor 
of  something  imaginary,  if  the  dedicatee 


On  Writing  a  Book  157 

has  any  power  of  suggestion  at  the  out- 
start — essays  or  such.  I  dinna  think  you'd 
be  capable  of  poetry,  but  I'm  no  sure. 
Gosh !  minister,  it  will  take  a  heap  of  work. 
Maybe  you'll  have  to  be  sequestrated  for 
months  apart  from  us  all  in  yon  parlor  of 
yours.  But  the  result  will  be  beyond  the 
endeavor  or  I'm  mistaken.  It  will  be  a 
great  book." 

His  listener  now  managed  to  get  a  word 
in. 

"  Why  not  write  the  book  yourself,  Mac- 
Gregor  ?  "  said  he,  with  a  ghastly  smile. 

"No,"  replied  the  elder,  "it  wouldnae 
do.  Folks  ken  the  kind  of  man  I  am.  I'm 
either  medium  in  my  conversation  or  bril- 
liant. No  one  wants  medium  things  in  any 
book,  and  it  would  trouble  me  to  be  bril- 
liant for  very  long  together.  If  I  wrote  a 
book  I'm  no  saying  it  wouldnae  be  a  clever 
book ;  it  would  be  all  that ;  but  I  think, 
minister,  though  maybe  it  will  bother  you 
to  do  it,  you  could  beat  it.  Besides,  I'm 
no  great  speller. 

"  You'll  find  it  easy  enough,"  he  contin- 
ued, "  to  go  on  with  the  thing,  once  it's 
started.     For  instance,  if  your  opening  re- 


158         The  Elder  MacGregor 

mark  is  of  this  nature  :  '  The  snow  was  on 
the  ground,'  there's  a  heap  of  qualifications 
to  follow  immediately  after.  "Was  the 
snow  dirty  or  was  it  clean,  or  was  it  deep 
or  just  a  sprinkling  ?  Then,  when  you've 
done  with  the  snow,  there's  the  ground, 
was  it  clay  or  what? — and  so  on.  But 
you're  used  to  making  heads  for  your  ser- 
mons. I'd  pursue  the  same  tactics — a  lot 
of  words  round  a  single  idea,  choosing  good 
words,  mind  you,  perhaps  with  more  care 
than  with  a  sermon,  and  getting  a  fine  root 
idea  to  start  on  in  the  first  place  for  devel- 
oping. Folks  write  such  a  heap  of  trash 
now.  I'm  convinced  there's  a  chance  for 
you,  minister,  if  you'd  only  try." 

"  MacGregor,"  said  the  minister,  "  are 
you  intending  to  be  humorsome  ?"  and  he 
looked  at  the  elder  curiously. 

"  Humorsome  !  "  cried  that  worthy  indig- 
nantly. "No;  likely  I  hae  promulgated 
my  ideas  upon  humor  before  now.  This 
book  of  yours  is  one  of  the  most  serious 
considerations  I  ever  met." 

"  Then,"  said  the  minister,  "  pray  say  no 
more  about  it  till  the  book's  done,"  and 
with  that  he  left  the  elder,  "  with  a  kind 


On  Writing  a  Book  159 

of  frigidity  about  him,"  as  MacGregor  ex- 
pressed it,  "  and  no  thanks  for  the  sugges- 
tion at  all." 

The  minister  went  very  thoughtfully 
home.  "  What  my  parish  expect  of  me," 
he  said  to  himself,  "  that  must  I  do,"  and 
his  mind  went  back  to  many  a  silent  hour 
spread  over  years  now  behind  him,  when 
he  had  sat  in  the  manse  parlor  with  the 
wrong  end  of  a  quill  pen  in  his  mouth  nib- 
bling at  it  till  the  inspiration  should  come. 
There  was  such  a  lot  of  nibbling  in  pro- 
portion to  the  inspiration,  but  he  flattered 
himself  that  there  were  a  few  golden 
thoughts  amongst  the  sheets,  which  now 
lay  within  the  second  topmost  drawer  in 
his  desk,  nearly  ready  for  the  publishing. 

It  was  hard  luck  though,  when  one  came 
to  think  of  it,  if  MacGregor's  name  was  to 
appear  in  the  dedication  through  his  sug- 
gesting the  business  when  it  was  already 
practically  completed.  He  had  intended 
to  reserve  this  dedication  for  his  wife.  In 
fact,  he  was  not  yet  quite  certain  whether 
— MacGregor,  or  no  MacGregor — he  would 
not  do  so  still. 

In  this  mood  he  went  home. 


160         The  Elder  MacGregor 

Three  weeks,  or  maybe  four  weeks  later, 
a  somewhat  bulky  parcel  was  despatched 
to  Edinburgh  by  rail. 

Contrary  to  usual  custom  the  manuscript 
was  intelligently  read,  and  in  defiance  of 
all  accepted  theories  regarding  the  difficul- 
ties of  a  literary  career,  it  was  immediately 
accepted  upon  condition  that  the  minister 
paid  a  mere  bagatelle  to  cover  the  pub- 
lishing. 

When  he  received  the  letter  containing 
this  news,  his  secret  flashed  over  the  vil- 
lage like  summer  lightning. 

"If,"  said  he  to  his  wife,  "if  we  starve 
all  winter  because  of  the  payment  I  have 
to  make  to  this  man,  taking,  as  it  does,  the 
hard  earnings  of  long  years,  this  book  shall 
go  forth  to  be  read  by  men." 

Folks  with  more  experience  would, 
maybe,  have  cried  out  to  the  man,  "  Stop," 
if  they  had  seen  him  standing  yonder  in 
the  manse  parlor,  white  haired,  and  worn 
with  the  long  patience  of  life ;  but  with  a 
new  glory  of  hope  come  to  him  in  his  au- 
tumn days. 

But  they  would,  for  once  in  a  way,  have 
been  wrong  over  it,  for  the  book  was  a 


On  Writing  a  Book  161 

success.  In  fact  he  made  two  pounds  over 
the  venture  before  the  accounts  were  finally 
closed,  and  had  all  his  own  money  back, 
too,  within  six  years. 

As  for  the  dedication,  that  now  became 
a  really  serious  consideration,  for  directly 
the  elder  heard  of  the  volume's  acceptance, 
he,  so  to  speak,  clinched  matters  and  as- 
sumed the  dedication,  and  the  minister  did 
not  like  to  offend  him. 

On  the  one  hand  he  wished  to  gratify 
his  wife,  but  on  the  other  his  kirk  elder 
had  grown  very  keen  about  it. 

At  first  he  thought  of  combining — put- 
ting the  words:  "To  my  dear  wife"  on 
one  line,  and  "  To  my  elder,  MacGregor," 
on  another  line  beneath  it,  but  he  feared 
both  parties  might  object  to  this. 

Then  he  thought  of  writing,  "To  my 
helpmeet  and  dear  wife,  with  whose  name 
I  venture  to  couple  my  kirk  elder,  Mac- 
Gregor," but  the  wording  did  not  seem 
very  happy  or  to  express  exactly  what  was 
wanted. 

What  the  minister  wished  to  say  was, 
"  By  my  own  wish  I  dedicate  this  book  to 
my  wife.     By  MacGregor's  wish,  and  for 


162         The  Elder  MacGregor 

the  sake  of  courtesy  and  peace  in  the 
parish,  and  because  the  man  suggested  it 
when  it  was  completed,  I  dedicate  it  to  him." 

The  minister  meant  to  be  quite  fair 
about  it,  but  he  also  wanted  his  congrega- 
tion to  read  the  book,  which  he  intended 
to  lend  to  them,  one  after  the  other — and 
if  the  elder,  being  deprived  of  his  dedica- 
tion, were  to  drop  a  hint  to  Mistress 
Mackie  at  the  post-office  and  to  one  or  two 
others  that  "the  book  is  no  just  altogether 
what  our  minister  might  have  done,"  or, 
"Weel,  I'll  say  nothing  about  the  min- 
ister's book,"  or  "  Hoots,  it  might  have 
been  better  " — that  would  mean,  that  as 
far  as  the  parish  was  concerned,  it  would 
have  been  better  unwritten. 

And  to  be  a  prophet  in  one's  own  coun- 
try is  a  great  thing  for  a  minister. 

Taking  one  thing  with  the  other,  he 
now  blamed  himself  very  greatlv  for  keep- 
ing the  matter  secret  whilst  he  was  at  it. 
If  he  had  publicly  announced,  "  I  am 
writing  a  book,"  this  vexatious  question  of 
a  dedication  to  MacGregor  would  never 
have  crept  in  at  all. 

It  was  a  difficult  problem. 


On  Writing  a  Book  163 

When  they  met  nowadays,  MacGregor 
would  ask,  "Well,  minister,  is  our  book 
getting  near  to  it  ?  It  will  be  a  proud 
day  for  both  the  suggestor  and  the  writer 
when  it  gets  afloat."  And  the  minister 
would  perspire,  but  lack  the  nerve  to 
speak  what  was  in  his  mind. 

He  had  not  the  courage  to  say,  "The 
book's  my  wife's." 

One  long  sleepless  night,  when  his  wife 
had  just  been  complaining  that  he  was 
tossing  overmuch,  and  that  she  would  like 
a  new  pillow  or  two  for  the  beds  when  the 
book  was  out,  the  injustice  of  the  whole 
thing  struck  the  minister  suddenly  in  a 
new  and  forcible  manner. 

He  saw,  as  if  a  veil  were  dropped,  back 
over  the  past  months  and  years  of  his 
toil ;  his  hopes  and  fears  for  his  volume 
came  back  to  him  ;  he,  again,  as  he  had  so 
often  done,  pictured  to  himself  the  final 
hour  of  triumph  when  he  would  come 
into  the  manse  parlor  and  say : 

"  Wife,  maybe  I  toss  at  nights — there  is 
something  to  make  up  for  it — the  cause  of 
it — your  book — open  it,"  and  she  would  do 
so,  and  see  her  name. 


164         The  Elder  MacGregor 

And  now  here  was  MacGregor,  a  party 
to  whom  it  did  not  matter  whether  the 
minister  tossed  at  nights  or  lay  still,  a 
man,  in  fact,  who  had  no  concern  with  the 
affair  at  all ! 

In  the  gray  dawn  he  took  a  mighty 
resolution.  It  was  his  only  sin  in  a  long 
lifetime  and  being  unaccustomed  to  crime 
he  went  about  at  it  so  innocently  that 
maybe  folks  will  forgive  it  when  I  come 
to  tell  it. 

Meantime,  as  the  days  went  by,  local 
affairs  began  to  hang  almost  entirely  upon 
the  minister's  book.  MacGregor,  in  con- 
sequence of  his  share  in  the  enterprise, 
worked  this  with  the  aid  of  Mistress 
Mackie — so  that,  if  any  one  mentioned  an 
event  likely  to  take  place  in  August,  some- 
one would  immediately  put  in,  "  Before 
the  minister's  book's  published,"  or  if  one 
referred  to  Hallowe'en  it  would  at  once 
come  from  somebody  in  the  company, 
"  We'll  have  the  minister's  book  before." 
In  fact,  one  could  not  ask  a  question  or  re- 
ceive an  answer  without  some  reference  to 
the  book. 

MacGregor  kept  this  fashion  alive. 


On  Writing  a  Book  165 

It  was  consequently  a  great  day  when 
Mistress  Mackie  let  out  that  there  had 
been  a  post  card  to  the  manse  to  the  effect 
that  the  book  was  coming  to  the  distant 
railway  station  by  train,  and  when  the 
minister  presently  drove  through  the  vil- 
lage in  Farmer  Grierson's  cart,  accom- 
panied by  MacGregor  and  daft  Jimmy  of 
the  Hills,  every  one  knew  what  he  was 
after. 

It  was  whispered  about,  "  The  book's 
come." 

I  have  been  told  that  the  minister  looked 
into  one  or  two  of  the  copies  very  cau- 
tiously when  he  opened  the  parcel,  and 
that  there  was  some  little  hesitation  as 
though  he  were  choosing  a  specially  clean 
and  unsoiled  copy,  before  he  handed  one  of 
the  volumes  to  his  elder  with  the  remark : 

"  MacGregor,  that's  yours." 

Little  did  he  think  what  was  to  happen 
upon  the  morrow. 

MacGregor,  having  driven  the  minister 
and  the  other  volumes  home  to  the  manse, 
straightway,  and  in  all  the  pride  of 
"dedicatee,"  took  his  book  to  the  post- 
office  and  prevailed  upon  Mistress  Mackie 


166         The  Elder  MacGregor 

to  give  the  folk  a  sight  of  the  much 
talked  of  volume  by  exposing  it  for  a 
day  or  two  amongst  the  buttons  and 
sweeties  and  other  details  in  the  post 
office  window. 

A  paper  bearing  the  words,  "  The  min- 
ister's latest  book "  ( as  though  he  had 
written  hundreds  before)  was  stuck  above 
it,  and  the  book  was  opened  at  the  page 
which  bore  the  magic  words : 

"  Dedicated  to  my  elder  and  friend,  G. 
MacGregor." 

Now  the  minister  had  naturally  con- 
cluded that  MacGregor's  copy  would  be  the 
one  which  would  be  loaned  about  the 
place,  and  that  there  was  little  likelihood 
of  any  one  in  the  village  buying  another. 

But  he  had  not  expected  it  to  be  stuck 
up  in  the  post-office  window,  nor  that  his 
wife  would  hear  of  his  trifling  subterfuge. 

But  the  ways  of  Providence  are  exceed- 
ing strange. 

Nothing,  for  instance,  was  more  remark- 
able than  that  his  wife,  flushed  with  pride 
of  the  present  from  her  lord  and  master, 
should  at  once  conceive  a  desire  to  write 
to  her  son  who  was  abroad  sailoring,  to 


On  Writing  a  Book  167 

tell  him  that  his  father's  book  held  within 
its  dark  green  covers  a  page  (the  proudest, 
surely,  in  the  volume)  on  which  stood  forth 
the  lines : 

"Dedicated  to  my  dear  helpmeet  of 
many  years — my  beloved  wife." 

To  write  to  the  sailor  required  a  stamp. 
To  buy  stamps  one  usually  goes  to  the 
post-office.  Hence,  the  minister's  wife 
stepped  down  to  Mistress  Mackie's. 

There  was  quite  a  crowd  gathered  by 
the  post-office  as  she  approached  it,  and 
Jimmy  of  the  Hills  was  gabbling  to  the 
folk  of  how  the  postmistress  had  told  him 
the  book  was  "full  of  writings  like  ser- 
mons," but  that  they  "  werenae  just  exactly 
sermons,  but  better." 

MacGregor,  the  hero  of  the  hour,  was 
inside  the  shop  talking  to  Mistress  Mackie. 

The  minister's  wife  inquired  what  was 
the  matter,  and  some  one  told  her  folks 
were  just  having  a  look  at  the  new  book 
which  Mistress  Mackie  had  kindly  placed 
for  their  benefit  in  her  window.  And 
some  one  said  that  MacGregor  must  be  a 
proud  man,  which  puzzled  her  till  she  got 
nearer  and  saw  the  reason. 


168         The  Elder  MacGregor 

They  say  she  simply  gave  one  long  and 
very  deep  gasp,  "  as  though  she  had  been 
under  water  a  long  time  and  didnae  like 
it,"  but  never  a  word  did  she  speak,  and 
she  was  quite  civil  in  the  shop  to  Mac- 
Gregor who  was  lounging  against  the 
counter  in  all  his  glory. 

And  she  posted  her  letter  to  her  son  just 
as  if  nothing  had  happened. 

Then  she  went  home  to  the  manse. 

Nobody  noticed  that  as  she  passed  him 
she  whispered  to  daft  Jimmy  of  the  Hills, 
"  Come  up  to  the  kitchen  door,  I'm  baking." 

Towards  evening,  near  the  time  of  clos- 
ing the  post-office,  it  was  noticeable  that 
Jimmy  of  the  Hills  became  very  trouble- 
some in  the  shop,  ever  getting  in  Mistress 
Mackie's  way,  and  once,  when  she  had  gone 
into  her  room  at  the  back  and  returned 
therefrom,  she  found  him  on  prohibited 
ground,  that  is  to  say,  behind  the  counter. 

She  thought  he  was  after  some  sweeties, 
but  Jimmy  was  at  far  darker  work. 

When  the  morning  dawned  again,  and 
when  one  or  two  folk  had  looked  at  the 
minister's  book  in  the  window  again  as 
they  passed  the  shop,  it  did  not  take  long 


On  Writing  a  Book  169 

ere  it  became  known  that  something  had 
happened  during  the  night,  maybe  a  page 
or  two  turned,  for  MacGregor's  dedication 
had  disappeared  and  instead  of  it  was  the 
one  to  the  minister's  wife. 

It  was  puzzling,  and  it  distressed  Mac- 
Gregor  very  much  when  he  came  upon  it. 
The  book  was  the  same,  for  he  had  it  out 
of  the  window  in  a  trivet,  and  he  and  Mis- 
tress Mackie  looked  over  it  very  carefully. 

It  was  indeed  a  sore  blow. 

Yesterday,  he  had  been  glorified,  to-day, 
he  was  mere  clay. 

"  Man,  I  wondered  if  I  had  been  dream- 
ing," is  the  way  the  elder  puts  it.  "  I  was- 
nae  very  proud  of  myself  yon  morning. 
Being  a  wee  bit  up  in  the  folks'  estimation 
one  day  and  down  the  next,  was  neither 
very  pleasant  nor  very  consoling.  I  went 
at  once  to  the  manse  carrying  the  volume. 
But  the  minister  was  engaged,  a  thing  I'd 
never  known  before.  The  lassie  they  had 
to  do  the  housework  said  he  hadnae  had  a 
good  night,  been  sleepless  or  something, 
doubtless  from  the  excitement  of  being 
writer  of  a  published  book.  I  bid  her  go 
in  again  and  say  that  my  communication 


170         The  Elder  MacGregor 

was  important,  but  he  was  deeper  engaged 
than  ever.  I  remember  being  greatly 
puzzled.  Later  in  the  day,  Andy,  the  kirk 
precentor,  came  down  to  see  me  in  my 
shame,  and,  says  he,  '  MacGregor,  I'm  a 
depitation  from  the  manse ;  you've  been 
over  hard  upon  the  minister  and  he  does- 
nae  like  it.' 

"  And  he  told  me  to  my  surprise  that  the 
man  had  fancied  it  was  in  his  power  to 
dedicate  }ron  book  to  half  a  dozen  different 
folk  if  he  wanted — one  to  one  person, 
another  to  another,  but  for  his  own  choice 
the  bulk  of  them  to  his  wife. 

" '  But,'  said  Andy, '  his  wife  doesnae  like 
it,  and  I'm  here  to  ask  you  to  be  merciful.' 

""Weel,  I'm  clever  at  times — just  see 
through  things  at  a  glance — no  like  other 
folks — a  kind  of  special  gift  like  second 
sight,  and  I  just  saw  the  whole  matter  like 
a  map  as  Andy  spoke  to  me.  There  had 
apparently  been  two  books,  although  they 
were  the  same,  and  two  dedicatees,  and  I 
could  understand  in  a  moment  why  he  was 
engaged  when  I  went  up  to  see  him,  and 
the  kind  of  night  it  was  likely  he  had 
passed.     I'm    no   a   married   man,   but  I 


On  Writing  a  Book  171 

could  imagine  it,  so  I  just  looked  straight 
at  Andy  and  said,  '  You  can  tell  the  minis- 
ter I'll  be  at  the  kirk  plate  as  usual  on 
Sabbath,  but  it's  maybe  as  well  we  should- 
nae  meet  during  the  week.  I  hae  a  con- 
science myself,  and  at  this  special  juncture 
I  wouldnae  like  it  to  be  his.  Neither 
would  I  care  to  stand  in  the  shoes  he's 
wearing,  nor  to  lie  in  his  bed,  nor  to  ken  for 
the  meantime  what  the  inside  of  a  manse 
is  like.  And  you  may  add,'  I  said,  '  these 
words,  Minister,  as  you  have  an  immortal 
soul  which  has  been  shown  by  your  writing 
a  book  at  all,  you  kind  of  owe  a  duty  to  a 
man  I'll  no  name,  who  is  a  kirk  elder,  and 
whom  you've  humbled,  and  that  is  to  men- 
tion the  matter  from  the  pulpit,  maybe  ex- 
pressing your  great  esteem  for  the  man 
we're  thinking  of,  and  to  take  for  your 
text  next  Sabbath  the  words,  "  My  sin  has 
found  me  out." ' 

"Weel,  he  preached  that  sermon  and, 
man,  it  was  a  grand  one,  but  his  wife  was- 
nae  in  the  kirk  that  morning  to  hear  it ; 
I've  never  kenned  why." 

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